And I don’t seem to know what’s wrong with me
6 months ago
Am I asking too much?
I long for someone to be present with
the darkest corners of my soul
weakness, shame, selfishness
hid neatly wrapped in shadow
Who would dare brave these fearsome parts?
And I thought it was you
with compassion and understanding
etched into the crevices of
your forgiving gaze.
But then when I am stricken black
overwhelmed by the frozen abyss of my own heart
I no longer see your face.
Am I insanity?
The walls of my reasoning close in
and I question whether there is
any rationality to what I want or need.
Am I too much for you?
It seems absurd to ask you give
exactly what I need.
No one appears willing
Perhaps it is I in the wrong.
Hey fam, it’s been rough recently. I’ve been overwhelmed and the demons in my mind have been winning. I’m sharing because I want to be transparent and I want you to know you aren’t alone in the way you feel. I realised I have been closing off which I often do when I’m upset and overwhelmed, but it’s so unhealthy for me. Thanks to my wonderful best friends and amazing partner for supporting me and giving me safe space to open up and grieve. We need other people to remind us who we are and contradict the dark thoughts threatening us. I’m doing much better but only because I have amazing support.
I cannot do this life on my own. No one can and no one should. I hope you know I’m here for you, no matter what you’re going through. I promise to be more transparent about my pain and more willing to ask for help. I hope you will try too.