It turns out that my mind has being lying to me for years!
Yesterday I was sat on Bamboo Island - in the shade of course, no sun after chemo and radio - and I’m just watching all of humanity around me...and believe me on a beach as beautiful as this...there was ALOT of humanity.
There was every age group and nationality with a skew towards Russians and Asians...and I start unemotionally looking at the body shapes of the women around me. Everyone is in swimsuits...there’s a lot of women in bikinis...but what I’m struck by is how few of these bodies conform to the ‘ideal’...they’re all a bit disproportioned, big boobs matched with small hips and the opposite true too.
There’s lovely big soft bellies dipping over the top of bikinis, hips fighting to escape from the restraints of their swimsuit and lots and lots of thighs with zero gap! In fact I would estimate that 95% of those beautiful bodies don’t conform to a body ideal at all.
Now of course I want my body to be fit for purpose - strong, healthy, resilient - after all I will be asking a lot of it from treatment through to travel. I was suddenly struck by the thought that even though I’m moving towards that physically, unless my mind comes along for the ride, packed with some perspective and self-appreciation, it will be for nothing!
It strikes me that 51 years of influence from traditional media has formed my sense of self, and coming from the media industry - I should know better. But I’m starting to... You see I’ve recently started following some amazing young women like @p.s.kaguya
+ female empowerment sites like @refinery29
, and I can feel my perspective shifting with every caption and image they post. They are reconditioning my mind!
And as the cogs of change shift ever so slightly, it’s really lifting from my shoulders the weight of fear and anxiety that I’ve lived with about my body and I can feel myself coming good again...maybe even better than good!
🍑💅🏻🖤 Fanny McPhee .
#AdventuresOfFannyMcPheeAndLittleC #LivingMyLifeLikeItsGolden #BodyPositivity #BreastCancer #MetastaticBreastCancer #BreastCancerAwareness #Thailand #Phuket