Rewind 2 #saturdaynight
. I was all ready to go out and do merch, I mean you see me: I went in on the makeup, and I spray painted a heart onto my hair! But as it was time to go, I began to get violently ill, I got into the car continuing to throw up (in a bag) as I tried to convince myself that I would be all right by the time I got to the venue. My darling husband was driving and he told me to stop, to just stop pushing myself. I was devastated because I wanted to keep my commitment and spend the night with my husband, and see some smiling faces that I haven't seen in a long time. But I conceded. He was right; I was shaking, sweating, dizzy, and there was no way I could function. He took me back home and then he went on to do the merch for me.
The first picture here is the last one I took that night as I lost the rest of my strength, and texted an apology for being unable to meet my obligation.
The point is, I've been suffering from chronic illness for years, and I've hidden it as best as I could. I've started to be more vocal about the pain and the issues that beset me, but I just never wanted to stop me from living my life, or stealing my shine. Saturday was devastating for me because my Affliction struck me suddenly, and I could not come back from this one, I couldn't hide this, I couldn't make it go away.
But luckily I have an amazing support system in my husband, who I am forever grateful for. And when he came home he told me how everybody asked about me, and wished me well which really touched my heart.
So all I have to show for Saturday night is a bunch of selfies. But my heart is full. My self-care came first, my partner in this life took care of my obligation for me, and everyone was understanding and sent nothing but well wishes and concern back to me. It was a very humbling evening. But I am left with nothing but gratitude. ♥️@mosaicfoundationmusic @flourcitystation
And luckily, because I was able to take enough rest, I was able to bounce back enough on Sunday for our friend's wedding.
#gratitude #chronicpain #chronicillness #gettingready #saturdaynightsalright #saturdaymakeup #eyeliner #liquidliner #hairstencil #heart #nofilter #realtalk