#GiantCanOfChickpeas

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HAPPY 30TH TO MY FAVORITE #PISCES . THANK YOU FOR BEING A FRIEND. TRAVEL DOWN THE ROAD AND BACK AGAIN. YOUR HEART IS TRUE, YOU’RE *MAL PAL* AND A CONFIDANT. Do me a favor and stick around for another 30 of garbage selfies, starting conversations with creepy randoms and then abandoning me, screaming Amazing Grace in my face when I’m sleeping, standing to my immediate left in pictures, and various degrees of theft and larceny. LOVE YOU. @malpalpics #HappyBirthday #Dirty30 #larceny #PETTYlarceny #AmazingGrace #GiantCanOfChickpeas #YoureADaddyNow #Aka #NoneOfUsEverHaveToBuyOurOwnDrinksEverAgain #WineAndCheese #SorryMyRoommatesFriendsSexuallyHarassYou