Today, as I ran errands and had 3 different appointments, this charm continued to catch my eye.
This charm reminds me that my son is always with me, gives me strength, fire to keep going and push through the hard, but it also reminds me that I still have so much pain, makes me want to cry, get angry, ask why, makes it hard to breath, makes me want to give up, and reminds me of the fact that unfortunately I can say my perfectly healthy first born son is in Heaven.💔 This Christmas season is seeming to be harder than usual, my joyful spirit has been darkened by pain and grief. Having empty arms for yet another Christmas freakin sucks. It’s frustrating and stressful. I have been trying my best to be happy this season and push these feelings aside, but today after this charm kept catching my eye, I realized I don’t have to hide my feelings. I don’t have to set them aside. I’m not helping myself or anyone else. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to get angry, be sad and get frustrated.
It helps to talk about it. It helps to share and not just myself but helps those who are experiencing something similar (I know, I’ve longed for posts like this through my pain and grief process) So, if that’s you and even though you don’t need it, here’s your permission to cry, be frustrated and not be overly joyful this season. Let it out. Share your story. And lean on those who are willing to be there for you and support you. 💕
The journey doesn't end where you get off the train. You are the train. Always on a path of your own, starting, stopping and moving, always pushing forward even when the world seems to pull you backwards. You're the vehicle filled with voices, baggage, memories, with chance encounters, sleepless nights, singles and returns. And even at sharp or gentle curves, what remains is the train and the track and the blue, blue sky. .
Picture Credits: @itsahmedmustapha