TO WHITHER OR TO SHINE // When asked a question about his life goals and dreams, an ex of mine would, without fail, respond: "I don't know." To which I'd respond: "of course you know. You're just not ready to "see" your truth or face the reality of what you truly want." How sage-y and preachy of me, right? Easy to say when you're in the mid-20s "False Peak of Omniscience." And at that time, I was flying high. The PR business I'd started at 25 was soaring. I'd started a second business, VideoInk, that was drumming up hype and kicking ass. The sails were up, the wind was strong. 🌬️🌬️⛵The world was my oyster and I was devouring that shit.
And then the wind just. fucking. died. In hindsight, maybe it didn't actually *die* but at the time, it felt like it just went, poof! Finito. All of the sudden the girl who championed living without doubt, seizing dreams by the balls, and leaping off the cliff with confidence that I'd build wings on the way down, was suddenly plagued with doubt and unable to see a clear vision for the future. ***
For a year, I wallowed in that fear bubble. I cried. A lot. I got adrenal fatigue, and broke out in hives. Rowing into the wind seemed so unfair. (thanks @jjaggard
for the metaphor). ***
Questions and second guesses flooded my mind and impaired my ability to just DO as I'd always DONE. I'd officially entered the "Land of 'I Don't Know!" ***It was in that State of Peril that I found my lesson...time to make a conscious choice -- to either whither under the weight or to row my ass off until the wind picked up once again (as it always does). ***When you're in the grind, and you hit that first rough patch (because there will be one), it's hard to keep focus on the distance traveled. It's not easy to choose the war path. But what we often miss is that we're not alone. We are on this beautiful, magical, uncharted path together.
And when the time comes to whither or shine, I hope you'll choose to shine. I hope you'll look doubt and uncertainty in the face and say: 🖕🖕🖕, 🎤👋// #shineon #fuckyoudoubt