Today I competed in my first BJJ competition. I was anxious, nervous, and had no clue what to expect. That's exactly why I did it. I wanted to challenge myself, try something new, and do something that scared me. I learned a lot, not only about my Jiu jitsu game, but about myself. I would like to thank @yorkjudobjj
for not only coaching and supporting me but being an incredible place to train with amazing people! I would like to thank my training partner and one of my best friends for not only coming out on one of his only days off, but supporting me and helping calm me down when I'm a nervous/anxious 🚊 wreck @mmacaulay1245
🙏🏼 (preciousssssss 😜) thank you @mckenziegrantwheeler @elicia_.lin
for everything you guys have done, from the talks to the rolls. (Kenz, Batman still beats Spider-Man fyi 😛) and thank you to everyone for the messages, comments, and support. It means the world to me. This was one hell of a fight and was tough! But I had a lot of fun thanks to some amazing people ❤️ #backtothecookies #andbagels
It takes a lot of courage to feel vulnerable. To allow yourself to be open. It's not easy, it's like turning pages of a book that have never been turned, listening to them crumple, but the words become so much more vivid once you finally turn that page. Vulnerability is difficult, uneasy, but is one of the highest forms of maturity and confidence. Yet it is still something I struggle with. No matter how many degrees hang on my wall, how many trophies, awards, none of that has to do with allowing yourself to feel, really feel emotions, and feel vulnerable. We want to close off because it's comfortable, it's easier to push people away, or avoid things, but easier, while it may be efficient in taking away momentary pain, it's not sufficient. It takes a very brave person to allow themselves to be open and show their true colors, what makes them unique, their biggest fears or insecurities, to show their darkness. It is easy to show the light, but for me, I want to see the worst parts, the darkness. "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional." That changed my life.