I think most of my life I didn’t allow myself to feel a lot of things... that’s when the time came around I would always be feeling this same unshakeable feeling... guilt. .
the fact of having committed a specified or implied offence or crime. (Via le google) .
But that’s the thing there was never ‘an offence’ or ‘crime’ that I committed , it was me feeling the feelings or thinking the thoughts that guilt would arise. The constant worry of “am I good enough?”, “it’s my fault that I’m suffering”, “I’m a curse”, “I don’t deserve love” , “it’s my fault all the bad is happening in people’s life around me” “I should have said something else or more or less” “guilt that everyone’s better than me and I’m not moving in my direction” “guilt of how much the abuse made me hate my body”, “guilt that I’m not even mediocre” “guilt that I’m never going to do anything with my life” “guilt that I’ll end up giving into my depression and ending everything” “guilt of just feeling too much” “guilt of just existing” .
Guilt and its best friend , shame, can paralyze us––or catalyze us into action. Appropriate guilt can function as social glue, spurring one to make reparations for wrongs. Excessive rumination about one's failures, however, is a surefire recipe for resentment and depression. .
When we feel guilt we feel badly about something we did or neglected to do. When we feel shame we feel badly about who we are. When we feel guilty we need to learn that it is okay to make mistakes. When we feel shame we need to learn that it is okay to be who we are. .
You have to UNDERSTAND that it’s not your fault. You have to DECIDE that you want to move away from feeling this way. And you must let go of things haunting you. You must give your self space to heal and grow and not latch onto the guilt or pain. Don’t live in the past because it no longer exists. Be the best you can be, each day, and be in the moment. (I am learning this as well!) .
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