Dear Parents, When you grab your young child's arm, dig your fingers and nails into them, jerk them around, or do anything that leaves a mark on their body...that's physically abusive..
When you taunt them because they're crying by imitating them and making faces mocking them...that's emotionally abusive.
When you call them names or make fun of their intelligence (or lack thereof)...that's verbally abusive.
When you threaten them with harsh and horrific punishments in the next life for disobeying you...that's spiritually abusive.
Child abuse is ugly and has many faces. No parent perceives their actions as abusive, but if we took a hard look at how many among us treat the most vulnerable members of our family, we are likely to find abusive behavior or something very close to it.
Children may test our patience, may push our buttons, may anger us and exasperate us in ways that very few others can, but just because we brought them into this world does NOT mean we can do whatever we want to them and justify it.
They belong to GOD and He is watching our every word, our every look, and our every action towards them.
Let's not delude ourselves to think that just because we feed them, shelter them, and send them off to school, that we're doing enough. God is the Sustainer of ALL life (including ours). We are just a means (sabab), but we are certainly NOT the source of their sustenance.
PROTECTING THEM FROM HARM IS ALSO OUR JOB, BY THE WAY. SO HOW EXACTLY ARE WE DOING THAT WHEN *WE* ARE THE SOURCE OF THAT HARM?
If you have anger management issues, PLEASE seek help.
If you have time management issues, PLEASE seek help.
If you have spiritual afflictions, PLEASE seek help.
Let's all restore the "village" mindset by calling each other to the better angels of our nature. Indeed, even a virtual village is better than no village at all.
May Allah ﷻ forgive and guide us to never take the amana of our precious children for granted and abuse our power. And may He help us help each other with gentle and beneficial reminders and sincere help. Amin.
SOURCE - Hosai Mojaddidi
‘The signs of Qiyamat they have appeared on this world. The world is at its end. We should not be busy running after dunya. Don’t let dunya be a burden that holds us back from Ahiret. As Seyh Efendi is saying, “If you are stuck in the desert and you have a hard time walking, you cannot carry burdens behind you. Whatever valuable boxes and luggage you have, you have to leave it somewhere because you have to cross the desert. You cannot carry those things.” Imagine if you have a big bag filled with gold. Are you going to carry that? If you have ten thousand pounds of gold, are you going to carry that gold passing through the desert? What are you going to do? It’s ten thousand pounds. Oh! You cannot move it from its place. Sit over there and wait for the angel of death to take you there. Or, leave it there and walk. One chance of safety. O Believers! Safety, it lies in following Holy Prophet (AS) and his inheritors. Safety lies in following the Evliyaullah, the friends of Allah, the inheritors of the Prophet. Because we are responsible. Allah (SWT) is telling us in Surah Mulk, that when people are thrown into hellfire it asks them, the hellfire is going to ask us, BismillahirRahmanirRahim, “Did there not come before you someone to warn you?” They will say, “yes, a warner had come to us, but we denied him and said – ‘Allah has not sent down anything. You are in great error.’” They will say, "If only we had been listening or used our intelligence, we would not be among the companions of the fire.” (67:8-10). Sadaqallahul Azim.
— Seyh Hoja Lokman Efendi Hz.
#ShaykhLokmanEffendi #Islam #Sufi #Sufism #Tasawwuf #Haqqani #Hakkani #Osmanli #Rabbani #Ottoman #Naksibendi #Naqshbandi #OttomanSultan #Aakhirah #Duniyah #AhlusSunnah #AhlAlBayt #Qadri #Chishti #Hussaini #Enkay10
What is Zina and How Serious This Sinful Act?
Another word for zina is fornication or adultery. There are many types of zina as narrated by Ibn `Abbas:
I did not see anything so resembling minor sins as what Abu Huraira said from the Prophet, who said, “Allah has written for the son of Adam his inevitable share of adultery whether he is aware of it or not: The adultery of the eye is the looking (at something which is sinful to look at), and the adultery of the tongue is to utter (what it is unlawful to utter), and the innerself wishes and longs for (adultery) and the private parts turn that into reality or refrain from submitting to the temptation.” [Sahih al-Bukhari 6612]
we are going to focus on the act of sexual intercourse between people who are not married to each other. This sinful act is very serious as Allah says in the Quran (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other ilah along with Allah, nor kill such life as Allah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.” It is one of the worse and major sin that come after shirk and murder as narrated by ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Mas’ood who said: “I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah (ﷺ)! What is the worst sin?’ He said: ‘That you make and equal to Allah, while it is He who created you.'” He said: “I said: ‘Then what?’ He said: ‘That you kill your child fearing that he will eat with you.'” He said: “I said: ‘Then what?’ He said: ‘That you commit adultery with your neighbors wife.'” It is incredible to realize that something as serious as zina can start from something as simple as a gaze! The path to zina can be short or long. For some, Shaytan may take years to instigate before the person falls into the trap of zina. Indeed Shaytan is relentless and patient and, will take any opportunity to lead the person closer to zina.
Effects of Zina 👇🏻
Hazrat Mufti Ebrahim Salejee (Daamat Barakaatuhu) mentioned:
The father needs to play a role in the upbringing of the child. Imfact his participation is vital. He cannot expect the mother to do everything. Generally, the father feels that my responsibility is only to earn the money and provide for the family and the mother feels that She needs to see to the physical well-being of the child. In this way the child’s soul, emotional, spiritual and moral upbringing is totally neglected.
A Faithful Wife
Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said:
“A man who has been given four things, verily, he has been given the best (things) of this world and the hereafter: a grateful heart; a tongue engaged in Thikr; a body patient in trials, and a wife who does not betray him with regard to her body and his wealth”.
A faithful wife who never betrays her husband, neither in thought, gaze or deed, is among the best and noblest treasures bestowed to a man by Allah Ta’ala.
The outstanding virtue of a true Muslim wife is her total faithfulness to her husband. Her mind, her heart, her gaze and her body are only for her husband. Infidelity does not form part of the character of the Muslim wife. While the highest degree of infidelity is adultery, even a glance at another man is considered infidelity and an act of unfaithfulness.
It does not behove the Muslim wife to cast her eyes on any man other than her husband. It is entirely negatory of the holiness and purity of her position as a wife to even bring to mind thoughts of other men. Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said that even the eyes, the ears and the mind commit zina (fornication). A faithful wife – and every Muslim woman has to be a faithful wife – cannot allow herself to stoop to the heinous and degraded levels of infidelity and unfaithfulness to her husband. Entertaining thoughts of other men in the mind is infidelity in Islam. Glancing at other men is infidelity. Speaking to other men is infidelity. Infidelity and unfaithfulness to the husband are not confined to adultery. By such un-Islamic acts of shamelessness, she enters the confines of infidelity. These are the stepping stones for the break-down of many marriages. The ultimate act of unfaithfulness to the husband has its origin in a thought in the mind – a thought which has planted nurtured by the violation of Islam’s laws of Hijab.
All the laws of Hijab (Purdah) are designed by Islam to protect man and woman and to guard the purity, honour and reputation. Relaxation of these divine laws will most certainly plunge a woman into a situation in which her faithfulness to her husband will be shattered.
Nowadays the veil/niqab/purdah has become a mockery of deen. The flimsiness of the hijaab/purdah of so-called hijaabi and purdah- nasheen women “hijaabis and niqaabis”of today has become a licence to sin. For them the cloak and perhaps a niqaab with it, are the be all of purdah. There is no genuine purdah in the heart which is the headquarters of Purdah. The purdah of the vast majority of women of today is a mere outer façade to advertise themselves as women of the Deen. Their purdah is either is not Shar’i one, but a deception.
The ‘purdah’ is merely a mark of respect or to convey that the women is from a ‘good’, ‘respectable’ family of high or good lineage. This is the type of purdah which the vast majority of so-called ‘pious’, ‘Deeni conscious’ families observe. Their ‘purdah’ is for public consumption and has its base in riya. This is the type of purdah which almost 100% of the so-called ‘muttaqi’ ulama and even hazrat’s and ‘shaikhs’ of today observe. Thus, within the confines of their homes men, molvis, and buzroogs freely mix with sisters-in-law, female cousins, wives of uncles and the like.
True purdah is total concealment from all ghair-mahrams, which means remaining within the confines of the home, physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.