TAKE UP SPACE!
I’ve heard this in classes before and I’ve said multiple times myself. Not thinking of anything other than what it means to me and what are my intention behind my words. Be bold, be brave, be proud of this skin that you’re in and never be afraid to take up space. Take claim, share and show the world who you are....you get the idea. In my head I was encouraging, but we don’t live in my head do we?
Last night I was given the gift of what I call, the other side. I shared a beautiful conversation with a woman who was brought up her whole life being told to NOT TAKE UP SPACE, to assimilate and blend in. Her mother, her sisters and herself were all taller and curvier than most of the women they surround themselves with. As a mode of self-preservation her mother taught her to play small, literally and figuratively. Never take up more space than those women around you. Never have the bigger ideas, as people will immediately be aware of YOUR size. Blend in, Blend in, Blend in. Somewhere along this crazy line of life, her mother was taught that women needed and should be a certain shape and size. (Sounds familiar?) This women went on to share that she currently has a wonderful relationship with her mother and realizes that in that moment, this was her mother’s way of protecting her. She shared with me this story because still to this day when she hears those words, they are heaving and carry a lot of trauma.
There is no right or wrong to this story, just another reminder.
Our stories are not always ours. We are carrying a shit ton of ancestral trauma every time we walk into a room.
Intention is beautiful and very important, however no matter how much we try, we are going make mistakes, hurt, sadden and trigger those around us. Respect the intention, but please, attend to the impact.