Back home and we’ve assumed the position. Piper is somewhere downstairs, practicing boundaries. I’m almost done with this novel and my thoughts are turning back to work. I haven’t had a proper kid-free vacation since A was born nine years ago, and for a few days I felt like I was forgetting something, supposed to be somewhere, missing an important detail. But, no. Just time unfolding slowly, spaciously, generously.
As I rode home on the ferry this morning, I listened to @florenceandthemachine
’s new album and stared out the window, so grateful for this life I could have cried. .
Later on, I was reminded by a friend of the Ben Harper lyric: “grace is love undeserved” and that broke the tears. I have received so much grace. So much love when I did nothing at all to deserve it. These are the treasures I carry in my pockets every day—the ways I was loved when I wasn’t loving anything, when I was selfish and ruinous and unkind. It is the most humbling thing I know.
I pulled around the rotary to see the familiar shoreline of home and drove the remaining miles in awe of how much a heart can hold.
I am ready to go back to work. I am dying to see my girl in just two more days. I am grateful in every cell—it could have all been so different, but it’s not, it’s just like this. #wearetheluckiest