. I've been such a mess lately. I have no idea why, but I am extremely sensitive. 🙄 I've had a really bad depressive episode over the last few weeks, I even had one day where I felt like it's just not worth being alive at the moment, I wasn't having suicidal thoughts or anything - it was just like, everything was too much and I didn't know how to deal with it.. I felt like everything was just falling apart, I felt so helpless, like a failure. I felt like I was ruining everything. I was simply unhappy with my current life situation. I was so close to even ask for advice in a mental health group to figure out what to do with one of the things that occurred with it, here's what I wrote and never sent: " I think this is my first time actually asking for advice here, what do you guys do when you are hungry but rather starve yourself as a punishment? - I have no eating disorder. It is just that when I am mad at myself, instead of scratching myself very deeply.. and finding comfort in that kind of pain, I sometimes find myself starving instead. It doesn't happen often(both), but lately I have been in a really bad place and barely even found the strength to eat or even drink a lot.. but today, I was really thinking '' It's going to be a great day. '' until I fucked it up again. - and now, I just don't feel like eating again - even though I am hungry. " it honestly makes me want to cry just reading about it.. because it's so hard when you find yourself in such a bad place. I didn't send it, because I started talking about it with my beautiful girlfriend who helped me out of the darkness. I am so glad that she is my safe place and that I can talk to her about everything. She's the support I always needed. I just want to say for everyone going through a rough time right now, everything is going to be okay. It sometimes just takes time to find the right moment to be completely vulnerable and talk about it, but in the end it will be worth it. - if you're struggling right now and need someone to talk to don't hesitate to text me or to call someone you trust. If you're feeling suicidal please do either call someone you trust or call the suicide hotline!♥ I love you guys.