Yesterday my oldest son was blessed (and so were we) to live 18 years on this beautiful planet. He loves God, his friends, and his family. He’s in no hurry to run off and join the military or leave home. In fact, he just cannot yet. You see, my son was born with a cognitive impairment, low muscle tone, speech apraxia, developmental delay, and kindness. He knows he’s 18. Yesterday he told me he wanted to learn how to be a gentleman. I said, “you already are.” He laughed and said, “mom your silly”, then whacked his brother as he walked by. They both ran and chased and ended up outside playing basketball. Oh this wonderful life we live. Happy birthday Brendan. We love you. #happybirthday #lovemyson #alwaysandforever #abilitynotdisability
Have you ever understood what something meant but not grasp the FULL effect until you actually EXPERIENCE it?!
This happened to me. Today.
First off, this has nothing to do with me "tooting my own horn if you will". Just a very EYE OPENING experience.
As most of you know Josh works out of town, sometimes for god-awful stretches and NO time off (24 on, 4 off). He has been for YEARS now. But something changed. And when we were celebrating his mother's 50th birthday on the weekend (he could not attend) I knew something was up. He was off.
But not just the "normal" off because he was missing an event. But one that shook me. This is where this whole EXPERIENCE started. In the past, I would have tried to comfort him "only a few more days", or "you got this", because that is the EASY thing to do.
But nope not this time. I knew he NEEDED Gunner and I there. So after a weekend of planning a full on surprise birthday weekend I told him "we're coming up tomorrow!".
In reality, I was tired, or I guess I thought I should be. But as soon as I decided I was driving 4.5 hours north to a place I've never been I had all the energy in the world! So we made it! And in the last 36 hours I've seen Josh awake for 4 of them. And HERE is the KICKER I'm not even fazed by it.
I dropped out of routine.
Threw nap times out the window.
The "limited screen time"with it.
Sleeping with a toddler at my feet.
Having no space between us.
Workouts all over the place.
Doing laundry, groceries and organizing files for him while he works his butt off.
This was my light bulb moment.
He needed me, so I just came.
And I would do it again, everytime.