:: ugh i need someone to hangout with afterschool tmr
“You will learn that sometimes human beings have to just sit in one place and, like, HURT. That you will become way less concerned with what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do. That there is such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agendaless kindness. That it is possible to fall asleep during an anxiety attack.”✨
~David Foster Wallace, American writer (Infinite Jest)
Deviant Art: Unknown
#anxiety #hurt #sleep #sit
Rants. Mental health. Endometriosis. Relationships. Humor. 30s. Dogs.
👆🏻Sound interesting?! Go check out my blog, I am sure you can find something that you can rate to ♥️. ___________________________________________________________www.diaryofthemadkatter.com
🌟link in bio 😘🌟
I know you’re tired... you’ve read (reasons to stay alive )that book you’re holding inside your hands three times and you still can’t keep hostage of its words, because they stare at you, and having someone explain to you, yourself is like having comfort and fear in the same space, which is scary to you but natural to others. .., You’ve told yourself that you’re hard to figure out, but that’s only to yourself because the pieces can be easily be put back together again, you’re just making it difficult .So stay strong, a broken vase can be glued back together with its right pieces and time to make it whole again, but can never contain the same foundation it held once before. #poetry #poetrycommunity #poetryporn #poetryofinstagram #poetrybooks #writersofinstagram #writingcommunity #bookstagram #anxiety #depressionquotes #dearme
food; honeycomb daifuki mochi
all hate will be blocked 💞
Sad clown 🎈
I’d like to get a little personal about this one. Needless to say I feel like a fucking clown. And a sad one, at that. I’ve recently come to believe that I just ruined what could have been a nice friendship. I’m so desperately trying to fix it but also let it be. I’m confused and I feel like the ground is crumbling beneath me. I feel like a fool for investing so much energy into one thing or one person when I need to invest in myself. I can’t help but ask myself what I did wrong. What’s wrong with me? What did I say? Why do they hate me? Why don’t they want to be around me? It hurts to think of answers for those questions but there’s nothing I can do and I may never find out. I’m just thankful for the friends I DO have and the people in my life that make me feel good. In the meantime, I still feel like a desperate fool 😓
#art #artist #sacramentoartist #sacramento #drawing #draw #pencil #paper #clown #sad #mentalhealth #mentalillness #anxiety #depression #bpd #wip
Sometimes she hides herself away, just to see if she is worth looking for 💎
You may be many many miles away but we still view the same sky 🌅
Taking a moment to be truly present. Exploring mindfulness as a way of daily living rather than something seperate. 🙌Whether you are feeling an emotional or a physical trauma, the two are very closely connected. Working with our sensory world to understand out perceptions and feelings. Mindfulness can reverse negative patterns of thinking which is a powerful tool to unveil and heal. 💕
The practice of connecting back to the present moment, noticing what is going on and how we show up and react.
↻ where's somewhere you've always wanted to go ? hmm probably paris or the bahamas
[ dream. do. repeat 🖖🏼💓]
This is real life. Always sharing a chair and working with one hand while the fur babes insist on head scratches. But I am blessed✨
Blessed that an opportunity came into my life and enriched my life in so many positive ways…and blessed that I get to pay it forward and help others do the same.
My dream to be able to stay home and work in my yoga pants while snuggling these fur babes suddenly doesn’t seem so far out of reach🌟
• • You've survived 100% of your worst days • •
thank you all so much for your support last night on yesterday's post. my inbox was flooded with DMs from other borderlines and other people struggling with mental illness and expressing emotions in a healthy way, and also from people checking in. .
. I just want to say, i'm so grateful for this very, very smol community we've grown that's full of empathy, raw expression and mutual support. my friend @sharyn.lee.jones
tagged me in this today on Facebook, and I thought it was vvvv accurate 😊 .
it's hard (to say the least) living with mental illness, chronic illness and disability; and it's important to recognize you've survived and kicked ass on 100% of your worst days. how incredible is that? you're an absolute powerhouse. .
[ID: a tumblr post. the first account says, 'if you can't handle me at my worst, just remember I handle me at my worst and that makes me stronger than you' in capitals. underneath another account has posted, 'oh my goodness this makes me feel powerful I hadn't even thought of this'.]
well bad day today. I had so many calories today I didn’t burn as many as I thought I would. I need my ribs and hips to show my thighs need to be thinner when that happens that is when i’ll mantain my weight. i’m fasting tomorrow as well as I can
Harville Hendrix, a well-known couples therapist said it perfectly. “We enter into relationships and marriage with the expectation that our partners will magically restore this feeling of wholeness. It is as if they hold the key to a long-ago kingdom, and all we have to do is persuade them to unlock the door. The failure to do so is one of the main reasons for our eventual unhappiness.” This feeling of wholeness includes expectations of our partner fulfilling us, saving us and completing us, when in reality... that’s our job.
Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. It’s a chance to get outside and actually enjoy the weather without wanting to pass out☀️🔥 or needing to bundle up in 15 layers from head to toe! ❄️☃️It’s an opportunity to get some fresh air and explore everything around you. 🍂🌄Getting to wake up last Friday morning and have this view was amazing! It’s no Grand Canyon or Niagara Falls [or insert any other beautiful place you can imagine here]. But just an hour away and it was quiet, peaceful and calming. Way too often we take for granted the little moments that bring us this tranquility because we are constantly in “go mode”. I find it really hard to quiet the sounds of anxiety going through my head and “turn off” long enough to just BE, without worrying about this thing or that thing, or this person or any other thoughts. So instead, I took a day to spend some time in this beautiful town with someone I care about, drink some good coffee, and for a little while just unwind. And I remembered that life is pretty good. ❤️🌻☕️ #unwind #peaceful #mentalhealth #calm #adventure #falladventures #anxiety #healthylifestyle
Okay so now I'm currently in the military ( mandatory 2 years service ) and I actually have to go for a course training to be promoted. But the thing is, the paper states that it is a 1-week course at another camp with 99 other people.
When I saw that, my Anxiety acted up again coz I know myself that I can't face so many people at once, plus the course is at another camp, which means that I'll be alone by myself at an unfamiliar place. My first few thoughts were: How am I gonna be with 100+ people ( plus a few more personnels there ). How am I going to adapt to the new environment? What if I can't pass the course and have to re-course with another batch of people? The worry list goes on.
Anyway, I didn't manage to go coz I was too afraid to go so now I can't be promoted and my current worry now is, how will people look at me? Will they despise me because I can't get promoted and will they look down on me coz I can't even go for a simple course training. Life sucks. Fuck me. I'm a weakling that can't even handle basic human interaction. Fuck my social anxiety.
Stay strong anyway guys, peace.
#SocialAnxiety #Anxiety #AntiSocial #AnxietyKills #Weak #Weakling #WeakBoy #Useless #Worthless #Incapable #Lousy #BetterBeDead
TRIGGER WARNING: CSA & DV
Scarlet appeared for the first time in two weeks to ask that I let go during today’s therapy session - to trust T completely. I promised I’d do my best. She wasn’t happy with the response, yet she understood it. -
I wondered if Scarlet would join me in therapy today, and I had my answer within the first 30 seconds. T sat down, leaned in with her cup of tea, and asked “How are WE today?” The way she said it, plus the fact that she’s always said you, let me know exactly what she meant. Scarlet flipped her ever loving shit; I could feel her warmth and acceptance streak along my right side. I smirked to the feeling and as an intentional response reflecting our challenging week.
After catching up on my week, we recapped our last session and dove into EMDR. We picked up where we left off by focusing on the new memory that arose the previous week - what happened after my uncle let me out of the trunk. -
At first, I only had somatic responses to the memory. When I focused on the pain in my chest, I remembered grabbing my uncle’s jeans, begging him for a glass of water, as he dragged me along the carpet. I broke into sobs recounting how I only wanted a moment of compassion from him, but finding nothing but fault and blame in my “selfishness”. Then, I lost it. The thought of my “selfishly” asking for a glass of water after being abused, beaten, raped, and trapped in a trunk was infuriating and triggering. Everything began to pour out at once then suddenly, nothing. The walls started to go up and close in. -
During the next pass, I spoke directly to my system. I asked for their support in letting down my guard and allowing myself to experience the memory. We all came through and recounted everything that came up without hesitation or worrying about sounding “crazy”. It was liberating to continue engaging vulnerability. T recognized this by asking, “What would Scarlet say?” I listened than replied, “She’s proud of me for being vulnerable.”
Every now and then anxiety and insecurity slips in; even the most confident person is not invincible to self doubt. I’ve struggled with this since I was 19. Am I a confident woman? Yes, for the most part. Do I have moments when that dissipates? Absolutely! Don’t let appearance fool you! Someone may look like they have utopia handed to them, but the truth is we all have struggles. The difference is that you have to own that you are imperfectly perfect. Yes, I know that’s an oxymoron. It all makes perfect sense at the end of the day. You love yourself because of your flaws. Self love is always a journey, and never an easy one. You can’t love another if you can’t love yourself. #whatyouseeiswhatyouget #acceptance #anxiety #nobodysperfect
This is one of my favourite quotes ever ❤️ I'm just reading the book "The Alchemist" by @paulocoelho
and I already love it so much. I'm so glad I'm back into reading. I felt so inspired and happy after reading. I truly agree with this beautiful quote. A lot of my dreams came true in my life but I'm still dreaming. It's never ending.
My biggest dreams right now are finding a career I love, helping other people in need to make this world a better place to live in, healing myself from anxiety, travelling the world and going to a yoga retreat at @island.yoga
I can't wait to make all my dreams come true 🌠 Never stop dreaming. Dream wild. Dream big. Go chase your dreams. Life is about making all your big dreams come true ⭐
To celebrate my awesome news, I decided to order wings. Even though I got groceries. 🤷♀️