Motherhubbard, Toddler Terror was only a bollocking CAMEL in his nativity! I thought they might have been just a little more understanding after my recent camel related incident, but no, I was forced into a photo for this ‘momentous’ occasion. I tried the old nipple cripple technique (which works a treat at repelling LWTB) but alas I couldn’t get a proper grip through the thick fur and it only seemed to excite him further.
Recently acquired camel phobia aside, it was perhaps the worst example of amateur dramatics I’ve seen in my whole life! The production values were practically nonexistent, Mary was a very unconvincing pregnant lady (much more spritely than I remember LWTB ever managing to be), the donkey burst into tears mid line, Joseph garrotted the baby (presumably by accident but who knows tbh) and one of the wise men opened the gift he was supposed to be bestowing on the now headless Jesus. Toddler Terror refused to go back on stage after he’d done his bit (which, if the script said that Camel 1 should argue with Camel 2 about who was waving at who in the audience, then he absolutely nailed) and had to be bribed to go back on at the end for a bow. All the grown ups were banging on about how cute everyone looked and how fantastically they’d all done- well, either the squash they were served as refreshments hadn’t been diluted enough or we weren’t watching the same production- it was a complete shambles, fingers crossed those 3 year olds will not be on the stage again