It’s been said that a mother should never keep a father from seeing his children. I don’t believe this. Fatherhood is a right but only until that right is forfeit. Once a father abandons his responsibilities and throws his children to fate he loses the privilege of fatherhood, entirely. Anything less is an affront to the countless other fathers who chose that nobler path.
Single moms often ask me what they should do when a dad comes back from the dead and wanting to be part of his children’s lives again. I always reinforce that decision is hers, and hers alone. A mother should never feel guilt for protecting her children and their innocence, even if that means protecting them from their father, if she isn’t convinced he’s willing to be a part of their life fully instead of through breezy half measures.
Since he abandoned all responsibility and forced it upon her, it now becomes his burden to prove to her, through word and deed, that he’s sincere and prepared for whatever necessary to win back the right of being a father. That he will do whatever she puts before him, climbing the highest mountain and suffering the darkest valley, to prove that he is worthy and ready to receive the God given gift of being a ‘daddy.
That he will take the long way back home. But theirs is a journey that must be long and painful. Too many times, their broken promises ended in broken hearts. The chords of trust have been severed, credibility erased. She doesn’t refuse because of greedy motives or control. She, more than anyone, desperately wants her children to have a father, but she’s all too familiar with how this scene has played out before. She’s seen too many times the disappointment and hurt in her children’s eyes after they’ve been shattered by heartless insincerity, and she’s left behind to mend the pieces back together.
#parenting #custodybattle #custody #court #childsupport #childsupportproblems #parenting #parent #mom #lifeafterabuse #enduringlife #healing #motherofboys #parentingwithpurpose #parentingwithanarcissisticex #abuser #blog #blogger #blogmom #blog #dadsofinstagram #momsofinsta #igmoms #igdads #parentingwithpurpose #family #familyshouldbeeverything