My tips for toddlers at events.... I mean... the first, and most effective, way is... Don't go! With a close second of “get a babysitter!” However, if neither of these are an option, here's my handy list to help you get through the event...
* A FULLY CHARGED IPAD, WITH A SHIT-TON ON IT. I'm talking Mr. Tumble re-runs, some Ben and Holly, and a few easy games. BUT... It needs to be FULLY CHARGED... Don't half-arse it; leave it on overnight to be sure!
* BRIBERY SNACKS. Forget the whole 'one mini roll a day' rule... I’m talking a 24 pack, and crisps on top... You want something good enough to lure them away from mischief, but not so good that you eat it yourself, OR that people judge you (i.e. you're not allowed to bring a whole chocolate cake, with custard in a thermal mug!)
* A DUMMY. Sure, you were weaning them off it... Sure, they haven’t had one since they were six weeks old..... But..... Yer'no, in a church for a wedding or christening, when your toddler’s new word is “BITCH”, you need to make a wise choice. Straight teeth, or risk a dummy for a few hours... I know which I pick... those teeth fall out eventually...!
* A bag full of toys... I want you to feel like a magician pulling things out of a hat, that even you yourself are impressed by... I'm talking trains, pretend milk bottles, a doll, perhaps even a rubix cube or two?
* Last but not least... An excuse. A fully-fledged and rehearsed excuse to leave... Mine genuinely is: “The dog has a dicky belly and don't want to return to diarrhoea in my living room”, but feel free to change that around... Your cat... Your nan... Your goldfish 😂
May the odds be ever in your favour.
Edited by Rebecca Wright. Serious kudos to her.
#wedding #christening #toddlermom #toddlerlife #momlife #terribletwos