I had accepted failure. Nav won. I was done with rap. Or more precisely rap was done with me. If I couldn’t make it in 8 albums, I couldn’t make it at all.
I started doing stand up. Fell in love with it!! Was performing 3-4 times a week! Sometimes twice a day! It was unlike anything I had experienced in music. It’s like creating art in real time!! 🤔
Stand up is really mastery over oneself (and oh yeah making people laugh). It’s different from music and especially rap, where rappers are mad insecure and uptight...because they think they have to have a certain image. They don’t!
But it’s also the same as making music. Instead of lyrics that usually pop into my head, my brain had converted that mechanism to jokes popping into my head. I got pretty good at stand up. And that feeling when you actually kill, oh my god what a rush!!
But something was missing. All my comedian friends dreamed of being a comedian since they were 12. I never had that dream. And so after like 9 months doing stand up, raps started popping into my head! I would write them down and try to quiet that voice. But all artists know the more you try to quiet that voice, the louder it gets.
I recorded “oh child” just for fun or more for therapy. I recorded 10 more songs and I played my album for a friend and he said, “it’s a solid album”. And I know that if anyone tells you your album is solid, it’s trash.
I went back to the drawing board, new flows would just come to me. I came up with this one flow and was looking for the right beat. That turned into “i cant stop”. 🔥
And that turned into “this year” and that turned into “motionless” and that turned into “damage” and that turned into “gimme more” and that turned into “nitemares” and that turned into SEND ME INTO THE SUN.
I closed my eyes and woke up and made the best rap album of 2019. I know it’s insane that someone that looks like me made that. But it’s really not. This is my ninth album!! I’ve been a professional audio engineer for 7 years!!! I work on more songs a month than any human living. I know now that it’s up to me to move rap forward, because 99.9% of it is complete trash. This is my calling!!! Thx!!! 🙏🏾