what is stronger
than the human heart
which shatters over and over
and still lives
I’ve had so many people my whole life try to tell me who to fucking be.
I’ve realised freedom, is just being who I really am.
I’ve had people say I’m ‘weird’.
I’ve had people say I talk ‘too loud’.
I’ve had people say I’m inappropriate and informal.
I’ve had people say my tattoos suck, and they ‘ruin me’.
I’ve had people say I wear weird clothes and I should ‘be more feminine’. I’ve had people say I feel too deeply and say too much of what I think.
I’ve had people try to tell me I can’t be a nurse and put up pictures of myself with my ideas in them, as if one contradicts the other.
I’ve been told I’m too ‘hyper’ , too ‘happy’, too ‘confident’ and that I seem ‘arrogant’. I’ve been told how I should and shouldn’t act around certain people.
The list goes on, and quite frankly, I don’t care.
You see I used to shelter who I really was, I tried so hard to do what other girls were doing and to be who they were.
Because every time I was my self, I was beaten down for it.
I was bullied in school countless times for being different, or being the weird girl with the broken family.
I had kids make up stories, and Chinese whispers always portrayed a more fucked up version of the real story.
I’d try to be quiet, I’d hold back happiness, laughter, enjoyment.. all because I thought it made me too ‘loud’. And for some reason, that wasn’t okay with people.
I took up full time dancing 5 days a week to fit in, even though I only really liked two classes.
I wore things the other girls would wear, and would say things they said and act how they act.
As I grew older I had people try to tell me I needed to ‘tone it down’ both at work and in general social situations.
So I tried to, but then I gave up.
I gave up trying to be someone else because you know what ? It made me absolutely miserable.
I just decided I’m going to relentlessly be myself, no more filters.
I’ve never been happier since I made that terrifying change.
People like me might piss majority of other people off unintentionally , but we really shouldn’t care.
Why? Because to the people who appreciate our charisma and passion- we (as a friend of mine recently said to me) “bring sunshine to their whole day”.
Sleep, Baby, sleep,
Dream, Baby, dream,
Dance in the starlight,
Swing from a moonbeam. ☾
What’s your weather looking like where you are? ☀️🌧💨 I’m not sure about you, but we are having a full-out rainy day over here! ☔️ On days like this, it can be tough to find the motivation to get some work done, but LUCKILY I’ve found my own little way to beat the “blah.”
Check out my “Conquering the Creative Business Blues” blog post for my own personal action plan, and a couple of freebies to download! 🎨😉
A first dive into design and reconstruction through inspiration, mentorship, and accountibility. Link in bio.
What would you do if you didn't need the money? I've really started thinking about that recently since I felt like a bit of a sellout on a small gig I got. Somebody contacted me to shoot a portrait/headshot for them at really short notice for a small fee with the plan of shooting a full portfolio soon after. On my way there we were still texting about details and I found out that what they really needed were polaroids to send to agencies to hopefully get signed as a model and they sent me some references. The thing was that when I got there I realised that they probably really had no business trying to sign with the type of agencies they were aiming for and they wanted me to heavily photoshop a new reality. I knew this wasn't going to work. I took the shots and after was really feeling like why the hell did I do this? The money? It felt like selling my soul a little bit. I made myself unavailable for the portfolio even though it was going to be way more money. I decided to stick to working only on things that I didn't need to sell out for. I've streamlined what I really need, kept enough income to keep me going and am really focusing my now more limited time on just what feeds my growth :) I've spoken to a few different creatives about this and the opinions vary, some think you should just go for the paycheck since that pays for your other projects. Whatever it takes. It's not really in my personality to do something I'm not proud of though, even besides creatively. I'd rather leave money on the table. Just thought I'd share this little fork in the road :)
I’ve been using the @lorealhair
Dream Lengths line to give my long locks some love! It helps repair my hair and seal my split ends and I can use it on either wet or dry hair, so I can keep living my mermaid hair life! 🧜🏽♀️🧜🏽♀️ #dreamlengths #longhairgoals
Textures & colours, creation & imagination. Shine bright❤❤ •
Texturas y colores, creación e imaginación. Brilla muy mucho❤❤ •
Pic of @jeanasohn
This is how my Sunday is going... how’s yours? 🕶