I am not ‘spiritual’.
I am human.
I find grace
When I hear the wind thundering through pines
And see constellations peeking out
From the velvet midnight sky.
Or when I look into the mirror
And meet my own eyes.
If ‘GOD’ is what I come from,
And where I’ll return to
Then She is the sand of the sea
Caught in my hair after swimming.
Divinity is simply
The patterns and wisdom behind
The larger me:
My thoughts, my words, sprouting seeds.
Clouds, wildfire, sprawling cities.
GOD is the music I dance to
And the sour, ripe juice of raspberries on my tongue.
I don’t believe divinity is all-knowing
But rather, all being:
Being in wonder at the marvel that it always has been
And always will be.
So I keep drinking it in,
Drunk on this beauty, drunk on the question of how I am even here at all
Without needing an answer-- because I don’t have time to do anything but wonder.
I am too busy being a miracle.
I am too occupied in this worship of laughing with my entire beautiful belly,
Loving with my entire heart of tenderness,
Staring at the once-in-a-lifetime sunset each night,
Kissing my lover on the beach— warm lips, smiling,
Feeling the softness of worn-in sheets.
I have never experienced divinity through
A carefully crafted ritual, or in an expertly crafted building.
The holiest place I have ever been
Is in my body, right here, right now.
And you might ask, what then, is sacred?
Well, my love, the most sacred thing to me
Is those tears on your cheeks
When you share a slice of your heart with me
Or let me see your trembling,
Your flawed and messy humanity.
Those fragile moments of vulnerability and truth.
It’s then, that I see GOD
I am not spiritual. I am human. I am here.
I don’t wait for some far-off heaven, dimension, transformation.
I am calling my own self into living,
Having the courage to forge my own kind of direction through life.
I am drinking in the richness, the vastness of this moment, right now.
This half-summer, half autumn evening outside my door,
And now I am done writing, because I am going to step into the world and be alive with with her.
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