I had a moment today, before I had even gotten dressed, of complete defeat. I have no reason as to why either. But it was there none the less. Everything I've achieved this far was a waste of time, I'd never reach my goal because of X, Y, and Z, and other bullshit reasons as to why I'm wasting my time at the gym.
The only reason I got dressed and left the house was because I had my husband's encouragement. If you need a "husband" to push you and don't have one, hit up my dms, I can be your cheerleader!
If you watch my stories, or read this far, you'll know I DID get to the gym. While I was dripping sweat on the treadmill, before meeting up with my trainer, I started going over why I do this.
Yes, I have goals I want to crush, but they really aren't the why for me. My why runs so much deeper than that. I hate having zero energy for my family. I hate sitting sidelines because my body was failing me. More accurately, I was failing my body.
One of the last photos is a picture of me at age 6. I had so many dreams. I was going to be a ballerina. ✅ Did it for 14 years and I still dance when my knee feels strong. I wanted to learn a string instrument. ✅ Doing it! I began learning how to play the guitar last summer.
My biggest dream as a little girl was to be a bodybuilder. I watched so many bodybuilding competitions when I was little. So rather than give up before even trying... I started going to the gym. I work with a trainer, not to become a competitive body builder, but to prove to myself that I CAN DO IT. If I ever reach a point where I could compete, I might. But it's not the goal.
The last photo is more a reminder for me. I have come a really long way. That outfit is a size LARGE. I am down from a size 24 to a size 12, although they are starting to get a bit baggy on me. Not only did I drop weight (I've dropped 90lbs before through starving myself) but I am doing it gradually and in a healthy way.
What's your why?