- I blankly stared at this photo in Silence completely floored in disbelief that this was me 310 pounds over a year ago today. On this day last year I started what would end up being the greatest thing I have ever done for myself, my self esteem, my confidence, and my soul. I promised myself I would not post a before an after photo until It was one full year and I had dedicated everything I had in me to becoming the best version of myself physically. I remember crying alone to myself at the kitchen table wondering how I could ever possibly manage to go through with completely altering my eating habits after nearly 27 years of eating this way. So you know what I did next? I wrote down all the things that I enjoyed and loved to eat, then started researching alternatives, healthier options. I spent countless hours every single day at every single grocery store from my house to Boston. As each store offers something different, more options, different brands. Slowly I started putting recipes and ingredients together of things I would normally indulge in, it was not easy at first it was all trial and error every single time in the beginning. I would make something thinking it was going to taste amazing, and I fell short so so many times, but I kept going. I went back to the drawing board every day until early hours of the morning and used a new ingredient, different brand until I was satisfied and felt as though I wasn’t deprived. It then became something I was so passionate about, it was as if I cracked the code on living a sustainable healthy lifestyle while eating all my favorite foods. You name it I made it, pizza, pasta, quesadillas, tacos, steak and cheese, everything I had previously enjoyed that was horrifically unhealthy I re created but in a healthy version. The first day I finally created a pizza that was so delicious I just cried, I cried because I no longer felt like eating healthy was a chore, I felt empowered, no longer defeated and I had finally looked the monster in the face that held me down my entire life and said I WIN.