“It’s government regulation,” the Haras says as I hit the elevator button to go up to my little matchbox, a new little luxury of a civilized jail cell. The handles don’t fully latch, the air-conditioner blows out more sound than air, and the whitewashed walls already have long and deep cracks running down them. These are how new apartments are constructed these days in #Kuwait
. The Haras—the building guard—shouts the same words at the end of each month when he expects his 10 #dinars
, half for the trash service, the same service he takes down to a bigger container out on the street. The other 5 is for washing my car. “It’s government regulation.” Camelshit! There is no such law, but he sure knows how to hustle like most Egyptians here. “Where’s the damn toilet seat?” I lay into him about a Chinese-made plastic crap that broke instantly once I sat on it. “I asked for it months back.” “Wallahi,” he starts recoiling, “I asked management…” camelshitting his way out and flipping it around, “Where were you in #Ramadan
? Tenants who asked got them.” “Out of the country. You already knew that. I told you.”
“It’s only 2 KD.”
(وَٱللّٰه) is an #Arabic
expression meaning I promise by #God
, strengthening any credibility on other expressions that normally come after. #Egyptians
and others around the Levant may use an “i” sound at the end to indicate the #Kasra
vowel, which sounds like a short “e.” Vowels are not part of Arabic letters. Vowels instead accentuate them above or below. People from the Gulf simply use wallah. “Wallahi, how come that TV wire dangling outside my bedroom window hasn’t been removed by the family under me? Those kids are loud, too. How is a family allowed to live in a one-bedroom apartment anyhow?” drenching him as he often tries to do to me when I am coming back from work exhausted to death.
“Wallahi…” he begins.
I interrupt him, “Wallahi, the wire is illegal.”
He laughs at his own medicine.
Before he tries to utter another syllable, I tell him: “#Wallahi
, it’s government regulation.”
Wallah is considered a #Muslim
sin when misused, especially if it is followed up with a lie. Yet, it is widely thrown like #Inshallah
. From #ResidualTourist