I think these pictures are just over a year apart. I was so incredibly lonely during my internship in Cincinnati, I became obsessed with the gym - a devotee of the Church of Toxic Masculinity. I would go 5-6 times a week, exhausting myself, frequently getting injured, and no matter how hard I tried, the endorphins always passed and I would still be left to face the reality of my own unhappiness. Depression, addiction, body image issues. Not my cutest moment.
The story that brings us to the picture on the right is a long one, but a simple one. I go to the gym once a week now, just to condition and maintain. I don’t worry about shit like I used to. I no longer try and bend my body and soul to try and stay pleasant and comfortable to others. I speak my mind. I say no to things. Oh yeah, and I’m a fucking drag queen now, in case you couldn’t tell. But that thing written all over my face - this is the joy that occurs once you start living your truth and doing all the things you were once to scared to do. Hit the gym if it makes you happy. Strut around in rainbows if that’s your jam. But whatever it is, make sure you are providing yourself with a real shot at happiness. Cuz life is too short 💖✨