Those who know me, know I don't particularly like leaving the house without makeup.
It evokes a great amount of dysphoria within me - followed by an increase in my already high anxiety. This is because seeing myself without make up - reminds me of a time where I was not happy. I was confused about who I was. I hated seeing that reflection.
Dont get me wrong, I legitimately love make up (it is most likely my favourite part of my every day life) - but it is also a form of eradication of my dysphoria. I am one to put on a full face of make-up, just to go to the store down the road to buy a bottle of milk. It sounds tedious, but at least I could leave the house confidently.
But over the passed couple of months - I have found a new sense of confidence within myself - and honestly, I owe it all to the amazing man in my life. Falling in love with him has been such a great journey, and thanks to him - I have learned to fall more in love with myself.
Slowly, i am finding it easier and easier to leave the house with just a touch of concealer, brow shaping and mascara (rather than the full foundation, bronzer, blush, eyeshadow, highlighter etc (you get the damn jist)) For a man who could love me as I am, allowing for physical attributes to be diminished by who I am as an individual - I realised I owe it to myself to learn to love the parts of myself I have no power of changing.
And to you @m.david.j97
- I am forever grateful. I love you ❤
#dysphoria #lifeasatranswoman #transwoman #transgender #mtf #mtftransgender #girlslikeus #pride #transgenderlife #findingmyself #love #loveyourself #anxiety #transissues #iloveyou #thankful #blessed #luckiestgirlalive #makeup #nomakeup #blueeyes #blueeyedgirl #brunette #iam #iambeautiful #iwillnotbedeleted #smile #blackandwhite #iamme
💜 I am so thankful for getting to know myself again. I've been so lost for so long! 🤩 I'm a whole different me!!! 💯 I wouldn't be here if it weren't for a very special pink drink! 🌞
What are you thankful for today?
Losing weight isn’t a cure all... if you can’t love yourself at the weight you are to start with it’s going to be hard to accept the work you put into the new person you become. I have lost a ton of weight but I’m having a hard time loving the person I see in the mirror. I have a lot of imperfections on my body... and I know that it’s normal, but it’s still hard... every day is different, and there are different battles we face... today is one of those days. I actually did my makeup to try and perk myself up... it helped some. #weightloss #weightlossjourney #whoami #findingmyself #weightlosstransformation
Rolling with the punches this morning!
Monday is trying to over run me but it’s not winning 😉 See my stories for more info!
Taking it one step at a time. It’s all one can really do! Just keep moving forward!
Happy to FINALLY have got my sweat on this morning. Few hours behind but it’s done and that my friends is far better than not doing it at all!
To Love is to stand in the biggest crowd imaginable, and still beyond all reasons, Looking for the face of a person you know isn't there.
What is being still?
When I first had someone tell me that scripture in Psalms, she also recommended a book called The Blissful Brain. It was a book on the neuroscience of mediation. It was fascinating read.
Since that time mediation often comes into play. And it's come in many forms. I've mediated in many ways... Kundalini mediations, yoga mediations, prayer, excercise, journaling, music and essential oils, visiting the temple or another sacred space, getting outside, photography, etc.
To me the how doesn't really matter, if you find what works for you and you enjoy it. What I think matters is that ability to get quiet inside, so you can hear your higher self beyond the chatter in your head and hear God. It's learning to be present, grounded in the moment, and trusting you'll be lead from moment to moment... Not being weighed down by the past and not fearing the future. It's true connection. A deep connection that we are often seeking for in others, but may not find until we find it in ourselves first. It's powerful and highly recommend it.
Me and my friend, here, are taking a social media break for a weak. Yup! A whole week. I'm in a busy season of helping 2 kids fill out university applications and scholarship applications. I'm trying to get ready for Christmas, as well as everything else.
Instagram is a hobby for me. A place to be creative; to journey with others; and, support and encourage others. But, (sigh) it can't replace real life. When it takes over real life, well, in my experience, that's not healthy. Staycations from social media are a GREAT thing! 🎶 "I don't want to gain the whole world and lose my soul."🎶 Have an AWESOME week, all! Luv ya!!💖
#unplug #rest #restoration #socialmediabreak #reallife #losingfollowers #findingmyself #peace #momlife
Are you attuned to your energetic willingness to do shit? #balwinratra
Falling out of balance doesn’t matter really!
How we deal with that moment and how we find our way back to center, everyday, again and again. That is the practice. It’s about trusting that you will find your way.⠀
#trustyourpath #findingmyself #inmotion
When I left the military at the beginning of the year, most people kept asking me: “What are you gonna do? “
“Where are you going?”
“What are you doing with your life?”
“This is a mistake.”
I literally have NO IDEA where I’m going, but I never stop, I keep going forward. Doing things that makes me happy, living, feeling, exploring, connecting with others & MOST important; finding myself.. letting myself know that I am worth it. We all heard the cliché saying “it’s not the destination but the journey”. I never really knew what they meant but now I do.
I call myself "lost" because at one point I got caught up so much in fitting in that I almost forgot who I really was. I started doing things that were completely unlike the person I was, but I did it just so I could hang around with the "cool kids". I started smoking, midnight sneaking, just because my friends did it and I wanted to be with them. But one day, I just got tired. I realized, I just didn't want to do this anymore, i felt like everything I did was the complete opposite of everything I was, so I decided to gradually turn things around. I got hurt a lot, by friends leaving, betraying my trust, but I hope that at the end of all this, it's worth it. I'm just lost between what the concept of "fitting in" made me and the kind and understanding person that I know I am and want to competely become.
#lost #lostboy #bloginsta #words #howifeel #expression #unsplash #personalblog #feeling
Into the lights, hide bright enough so that everyone sees your true form .
"Know Your Roots" 🇳🇬 #nitnc
Knowing where you have come from, your heritage, family history, is fundamental into understanding the environment you were cultivated from. It can be said "We are a product of our environment", therefore it is important to understand the roots you came from. This can provide great insight on any influential factors, that may have contributed to who you are.
Ultimately it is our mindset & self-awareness that defines who we are.
I haven't felt the best this weekend. I spent most of Friday wearing a jacket because it was more evident to me how much weight I have gained since Caroline was born. (I am 6lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight and it is not dostributing the way it used to!) I was with 2 friends who are by far a gorgeous ladies. I was anxious, self doubting, and mentally cruel to myself. But I had to beat my thoughts into submission. I had to remember that I see my flaws more than anyone else! Ian the reason I feel ugly! Not them, not the world, but myself. Working on mentally loving myself is by far the hardest journey I have been on, but the end results will far outweigh the road I travelled to get there. #findingmyself #loveyourself #bodylove #likeforlikes
Soar to places you've been dreaming of. 😇 Flap your wings, put in the work, only you decide where you'll land. You are powerful and strong! Your wing span has the ability to take you to new places. With aerial views🦅 Be an eagle not a chicken🐔 😂. Its Monday. Make it count! "but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31 NIV