If I could tell my younger self one thing, it’d be to throw the fuckin scales away!
They fuck with your head.
Especially people who have had had an eating disorder..
I Don’t really talk about it often.. like ever- it was only last year I actually realised that my relationship with my body and food wasn’t normal.
After opening up to Nick about it. He was the only one who knew and encouraged me to get help.
Eating disorders are not spoken about very often, especially on social media.
With young girls now having access to whatever accounts and channels they can- I think it’s something that needs to be bought to the surface.
I’ve studied PT, I know basic nutrition, I am fascinated with the science of how most things work.
But that logical part of my brain and my ED brain battle it out.
I’m so fixated on numbers.
So having a goal of putting on muscle and growing my legs and shoulders, and then watching the scales go up (only a tiny bit mind you) fucked me up.
Even though I could see how much my body was changing and how good I felt internally (because I was actually eating) , it didn’t matter.
Wrapping my head around this lately has been a struggle. But with the help of loved ones and a good fuckin PT, @baangas_
I’m FINALLLYY on my way to recovery 🖤
Fuck the scales off.
Numbers don’t mean shit.
I am more than a number.