Niceness and kindness are not the same thing.
In fact, I’d go as far as saying they’re opposites.
Let’s look at the two words and what they actually mean:
Nice means to sacrifice for the sake of others’ happiness.
There’s nothing inherently wrong there, but think about it - usually when we (women especially, because we are supposed to be “nice”) are being told to “be nice,” - we are being told our needs should always second to the needs of others in order to keep the peace. #fuckthat
Kindness, however, is the act of providing a service for the betterment of yourself, the other person/people, and the world in general.
Kindness isn’t always “nice.” Let’s look at some examples of Niceness vs. Kindness in action:
- You’re not into a really good friend who has feelings for you.
NICE: avoid the subject, continue close friendship, accept gifts, compliments etc
KIND: address it gently but firmly, create a distance/disconnect to allow the friend to heal, stand firm, even if you miss the companionship - A friend confides in you and you have no idea what to say
NICE: pretend to understand, offer advice, tell them it will all be ok
KIND: say you don’t completely understand their situation, but you know they are hurting and you will always be there to lean on
(Continued in comments 👇)