(SoundOn) - #barkboxday #grinch
I got to open my #barkbox
recently and inside was a strange green monster who kind of looks like Jim Carrey. My Dad told me the story of the creature, but he tends to ramble on which leads my mind to drift off and find an activity slightly less monotonous. Like counting all the carpet strands from wall to wall. Here’s the basic story:
That sketchy green dude is Oscar the Grinch. He’s from a series of books written by some Doctor named Susan. I’m guessing her specialty is personality disorders because she wrote an earlier thesis about this guy Sam with OCD who only ever ate fried green tomatoes and hamburger. Or was it green beans and spam? Something like that anyway.
Back to Oscar: he was supposedly born with a..you know what..two sizes too small..let’s just say if the early bird was going down, he’d catch a worm.
Growing older, he developed a rivalry with schoolmate Kris Kringle who often flaunted the size of his big fat sack in his presence, knowing that Oscar’s looked like a saggy ol deflated balloon in comparison. Kringle started calling him “Grinch the Inch” for reasons I’m sure you can imagine and claimed his manhood looked more like something popping out to let them know the turkey was done.
Set on revenge, The Inch travelled to ransack Kringle’s hometown of Hoo-Hoo Land. As he started his looting however, he came upon a young gymnast named Cindy Lou Retton, practicing the vault for the upcoming Olympics. He stood in the corner wrapped in his trench coat when the real Hoo-Hoo miracle occurred. As little Cindy Lou flipped through the air, his, um, lets just say “heart” for lack of a better innuendo, grew 3 sizes bigger.
As she stuck the landing, applause erupted, revealing the audience of screaming fans in the gym around him. That’s when they saw him, trench coat wide open with his “heart”-on display for the whole town to see. The Grinch was promptly booked on charges of theft and indecent exposure. The End.
Close enough. Happy Holidays!
Grinch performed by Aimee Mann
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