He said: “You are not good enough”.
She said: “Watch me squash this shit”. He always used to make me feel not worthy.
I remember in my lowest form of self confidence, I would be too afraid to go to the shop.
Too afraid to speak, even though most people are just going about their day, the thought of being in public and MAYBE speaking to people would be an excruciating thought.
I hated myself, everything about me was destroyed, my positive outlook on who I was was totally non existent.
I remember trying to force myself to get confidence and the only way I could think of doing that would be to do things outside my comfort zone (at the time).
Small things, pathetic things (looking back now), but effective things none the less.
Trying to muster up a convo with the lady at the deli, smiling and saying hello to randoms walking past in the street, saying sorry for walking too close to someone (even if I wasn’t in their way) but still - forcing myself to speak and saying little things at a time.
Smashing down those barriers with small steps was crucial to be able to flourish.
It started to open up opportunities, of friendships, schooling and everything else that began to go my way.
I started to trust myself, believe in myself and love myself.
I remember in the midst of all this crazy thought was a girl, she was out there, she was curvy and she was loud and she didn’t give a fuck.
I remember thinking to myself “if this chick can love herself in her crazy mess, so can I”. I love all that I am because I knew her.
I rock everything I do because I knew him.
And in hindsight, there is a lesson - no body could love me until I learnt to love myself first ✌️ #hindsight #past #vital #growth #grew #love #life #loveyourself #behappy #feelthefearanddoitanyway #mind #body #soul #shakeitoff #beyou #beproud #happiness #vegan #glutenfree #health #fitness #mentalhealth #mindfulness