☀️ SAN DIEGO PEEPS!! ☀️ My Mama has a book signing tonight at @barnesandnoble
in Mira Mesa. Please go check her out! I'm the most proud daughter ever, watching her get to do what she loves. She deals with all forms of loss and grief - we can definitely learn a thing or two from her! ♥️ 7:00pm!! #LossIsAFourLetterWord #Grief #WidowsWearStilettos
Day 18 - Joy
Joy never left. It was there as I held her, as I counted her tiny fingers and toes, so proud that I made something so very beautiful. Joy was there as 100 balloons rose into the sky on her funeral day. It was shrouded in deep, deep sadness, but joy never left.
This picture is of Maeve’s Moses basket. It was one of the first things I bought for her, not long after my 20-week scan. I asked the shop to hold on to it for a while, too superstitious to bring it home too early, which seems so ironic now. On the day we left for the hospital, Maeve’s Moses basket was all set up and ready for her, positioned carefully next to our bed with a new, freshly washed sheet in place. Only she never got to lie in it, to sleep or dream upon its little mattress
But her wee sister did. And her brother. Plus one cousin in between and another after. It has been well loved, home to many a peaceful snooze. It was recently returned to me, but we are highly unlikely to need it again. And yet I couldn’t bear to put it in our basement to become dusty and forgotten. I jokingly offered it to my friend across the Atlantic, never thinking she’d say yes. But she is a warrior mama too. She has lost so much, but now carries a bundle of hope who should be in her arms early next year. She understood the significance of this special Moses basket and agreed to give it a new home.
And so after much research into shipping options, and an unreasonable amount of bubble wrap, Maeve’s Moses basket began a 3,044 mile journey. When I saw this picture of it having safely arrived, it brought me so much joy. I am so glad something that was once Maeve’s now belongs to another miracle baby 💜
#captureyourgrief #captureyourgrief2018 #babyloss #childloss #grief #bereavedmother #themaeveeffect #joy
I am so grateful to have had the opportunity and privilege to know this incredible man. Tommy P was like a second father to me throughout my childhood - his daughter was and still is one of my best friends. I spent about as much time with the Peterson family growing up as I did my own. So I was blessed to witness his many roles as a loving dad and husband (a true family man), a loyal friend, a dedicated cop, and all around great human being. Tommy P was an extraordinary person - anyone who had the chance to cross his path knows this. It was evident in the attendance at the beautiful service that commemorated and celebrated his life. He left this earthly world in peace and I take comfort knowing that he is with God in Heaven, resting eternally in His goodness. As Emmy says, this isn’t “Goodbye”...it’s “See you later.” 🖤
My heart is broken. My baby is gone. I can barely breathe, I can barely form sentences, the tears won’t stop. You gave me almost 17 years of love and comfort, the thought of you not being here anymore is unbearable. Your paw prints are all over the floor and that’s all I have left. I love you Izzy thank you for being my best friend. I will see you again. 💔💔💔 #dogloss #yorkielove #petlosssupport #rainbowbridge #imissmydog #doggrief #iminpain #grief
Сегодня утро началось с рёва, я напугалась... Даше приснился страшный сон и она проснулась рыдая со словами "всех жалко". 💫Я так поняла, накрыл клубок последних событий, а вчерашние новости добили. Мораторий тишины последних нескольких лет закончился вот так неожиданно. Исключением была больная нога в прошлом году... 💥Считайте меня кем угодно, но я обрадовалась, тоже всплакнув. Это сложно понять и объяснить, т. к. это долгий путь... Я всегда переживала за Дашину "травмированную психику". Всё раннее детство она проревела на лечениях, видела орущих детей вокруг, потом делая ненавистную домашку (школа это вообще отдельная тема)
... в какой-то момент перестала плакать, понятно переросла, но... этих пугающих но было много... она никогда не проявляла житейских чувств/слез жалости, сострадания, надела маску безразличия. Совершенно равнодушна к животным😼, в смысле без ми-ми-ми... Исключила грустные песни, выключает сразу. Даже фильмы смотрит совершенно спокойно, в отличие от мамы😢.Такая железная леди.Меня это пугало.
А тут #всенормально
, к.м.к.нормальней чем у многих "звёзд", которые сразу после траурных свечей тут же выставляют веселящие ролики
➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖ #особоедетство #понять #принятие #откровения #особоематеринство #психика #переживания #дцплечится #прорвемся #трудности #всеполучится
Two years ago was the last day I spent with my mom before her transition, preparing for our trip to Bali and India. My mom was so high energy the whole day.
My mom was always there for me, giving me inspiration, helping me to stay focused and positive. Although, we had so much beautiful time together witnessing the pain she went through from her chronic pain condition was not always easy. I'm so grateful I got to have the mom I have. She is one of the most loving, compassionate, free spirited, earth angel beings I've met.
A few Lessons I've learned from grieving, healing, and integration:
1. Always listen to your intuition and voice it. Your intuition is a guidance system that is able to connect to and access higher levels of consciousness.
2. Be present with those you love. Don't let insignificant things keep you from truly connecting in the moment.
3. Self-sacrifice is not always love. Self-love and self-care make us more available to love.
4. Always express your love for those you love. You honestly never know what will happen.
5. Life is truly infinite. I have connected with my mom in dreams, in an in between portal between dimensions in dreams and through communication.
6. Build a foundation in your own energy, so that as things change around you you're still supported through source and your energy.
7. Great change requires integration on all levels.
8. A higher perspective reveals all things can be seen as part of a divine plan.
9. When a challange arises, ask yourself. "what new aspect of myself is this asking me to develop?"
I had so much support and love coming in after her transition. I decided to just flow for a year and I had so many opportunities including a book, business opportunities, great love, modeling, travel... This second year has been deep shadow work, opportunities to offer healing to others, travel and truly releasing alot that I knew to be consistent in my life. The past 6 months I've been feeling so happy. I'm grateful to my sisters, family, @lovecreatebeauty
, and a few other friends for the consistent understanding and compassion as I've learned to embody the new me this change has asked me to become.
Capture Your Grief Day 18: Joy
Live beyond "What if?"
Find joy in "What is."
I've always struggled with the concept of joy, regardless of experiencing baby loss. Joy is not the same as happiness... it's a feeling, a state of mind, that goes beyond circumstance. I think it's being content in your soul, and for me, a place where you're trusting in God no matter the chaos that may be swirling around you.
I get caught up in stuff... how people treat me, how my kids (mis)behave, all the things I need to get done, so many responsibilities, no time for yoga or reading or crocheting, and I am never going to lose weight. I miss the forest for the trees, getting caught up in the hum drum of the daily minutiae. It's hard to be happy when you're just trying to be, to get by.
Losing a baby, knowing others who've lost babies, has helped me see the big picture and be more appreciative of those small moments. To focus on what I do have, even if it's not what I hoped or envisioned. And it's something I'm working on every day.
"May the God of hope fill you with all JOY and PEACE as you trust in Him, so that you may overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit." - Romans 15:13
#grief #pregnancylossawareness #miscarriage #1in4 #stillbirth #pregnancyloss #neverforget #saytheirnames #pregnancyafterloss #CaptureYourGrief #CaptureYourGrief2018 #whathealsyou #countitalljoy #happiness #contentinjesus
You might have come early. And you could have arrived late. But today is the date I've expected you since as long as I've known you're mine. And although we learned months ago that today was never to be, I've felt it's approach with every passing moment. Now it's here, and you're not. In most ways, the day itself has been no more profound than others that have come and gone since April.
What I wouldn't give to meet you on this side of life - today. Or tomorrow. Or any day at all.
To touch your skin, to hear your sound, to smell your scent, to see your face.
I'll spend the rest of my days daydreaming of what your days might have been. I'll take my lifetime mourning the loss of yours.
I wonder, will today, now that it's here, mark the end of all the counting I've done this year? The keeping track. Of days and weeks and dates and would-be markers of your life, of my experience carrying you, of what might have been?
Probably not. In 4 weeks, you might have been 4 weeks old. In 2 years, you'd have been my toddler. In 32 years, an adult, and also still my child.
On it will go.
And then, the thought comes to me again, as it daily does. I carried you for every second of your life, and now you're my baby until beyond the ending of time. For more days than I can count, for more years than I can fathom.
I cherish today in remembrance of you, for the profound impact your little life has had on me, and for the depth of love that you've taught me.
I love you forever. And always. And longer.
#duedate #ihadamisscarriage #grief #griefjourney #pregnancyloss
Psychotherapy helps thousands of people each year deal with the loss of a loved one. At Re-Mind we offer a warm and welcoming space to deal with #grief
and help people across #London
find peace after the loss of family and friends. #psychotherapy #recovery
One important role of our adult volunteers is to model emotional intelligence and sharing for our child and teen group participants. Seeing adult men that can model such behavior is especially important for our young boys dealing with grief, but we don't have a lot of them in our volunteer ranks! Are you an emotionally intelligent man or do you know one who would be perfect to help out in our grief support groups? Have them sign up for our next volunteer training in January (link in bio). No need to be intimidated, as long as you come with an open heart and a willingness to learn, we will train you to be prepared for everything else.
#slc #utah #grief #griefwork #griefsupport #kidsgrievetoo #support #supportgroup #nonprofit #nonprofitorganization #donate #support #volunteer #death #loss #mentalhealth #selfcare
He takes my breath away even now. Especially now. Sometimes I sit and wonder why on earth he chose us. Being his mother was holy. Being in his presence was life changing, not just to me but to anyone who knew him. I’ve been pondering all day how I want to celebrate his birthday. The colors red and blue will be our birthday colors this year. That is all I know for sure. I’m always asking my kids what kind of party they want and he gave me some clues this year through a dream a friend had.
#birthday #mattiesam #mattiesmom #rememberingmattie #grief #healing #dreams
This a special message for a family really going through it at the moment.
My love, hugs and thoughts are with you ❤ xx
Day 4: Grief
I've stared at my phone for so long with nothing to write about.
Maybe I don't know what grief is or how it feels to grieve someone you love(d)
Maybe I have been grieving my whole life and now I can't explain it in words
Maybe I've been numb and strong for too long that grief is too foreign a feeling for me.
#15daywritingchallenge #letswrite #grief
Hopefully you can pick up on how lovely the rose gold glitter looks on this angel. We’ve been working on some new colours. Our resin is also coming out beautifully shiny and clear thanks to our moulds. What are your thoughts on this colour? Would you choose it?
I started today so positively. The sun was shining. I had a morning run. All seemed well.
Then came the kick in the teeth.
It really hurts doesn’t it? Being mistreated, being overlooked, being ignored, being taken for granted, being left out, being walked all over, being disrespected.
Especially when you’ve given your all.
I have often been a bit of a doormat but today I wanted to stand up for myself and complain and yell at the injustice, demand my rights.
But I didn’t.
Instead I just sat alone and cried.
A tsunami of tears for today’s kick in the teeth but also for every injustice I’ve experienced, every hit I’ve taken, every time I’ve been ignored or mistreated or disrespected or taken for granted. ‘You’re too soft’ I told myself, which only upset me more.
I know from experience that life isn’t fair so why do I still let it upset me?
I know I will bounce back and rise above it.
But right now I’m being real.
I’d like to make some pulpit worthy comment about grace but in reality sometimes contentment slides, things hurt, worries bubble up, and you’ve got to weather the storm before you can stand in the sun again.
This too shall pass.
#thursdaythoughts #reality #mentalhealth #emotions #disrespect #pain #thoughtoftheday #thoughts #waiting #train #platform #trainstation #commute #work #journey #grief #itsokaynottobeokay #itsoktocry #cry #light #naturallight #autumn #lightandshadow #wordporn #writersofinstagram #potd #cardiff #wales
Para mi, cada quien va creciendo en temas de conciencia, amor propio, respeto e intención. Cada persona tiene y cuenta su proceso ⭐️♥️
Our grief can confuse our feelings about faith, and our faith can confuse our feelings about grief.
One thing that I’ve been thinking about is how religion seems to over-simplify it all. “She’s in a better place.” “Those who believe don’t grieve.” It all kind of seems to take away from the significance of the loss, doesn’t it? | #conversationsaboutdeath #35mm
From the #FearLove
Krista Amira Calvo presents an immersive meditation on the 5 stages of grief.
Awareness of our inner state is supremely helpful at all times, but especially when in times of upheaval.
Grief is sacred and demands reverence and grace. You can't rush grief or expect it to unfold and unravel where it is not held sacred. Be sure to guard it like a mama panther but give in when the time and space is right and pure hands are there to hold and cradle your sorrows. When women come together to grieve from a place of surrender and purity of intention, an astounding pool of energy is instantly formed. A village is born and forever stays woven into the intricate web of time. I spent five days with 6 other women from all walks of life, each with their own incredible stories of loss, sorrow and trauma, taking part in an African communal grief ritual. I soon realized that there is no end to this journey and that it will almost always most likely be about something other than what I came for. And so it turned out to be about my own strength, the practice of discernment and empowerment and... The Village. The belonging. And the unthinkable and incomprehensible loss of it. We were never meant to live, love or grieve alone and the soul knows it and there is immense confusion and deep sense of loss coming into this world and not finding yourself amidst the loving eyes of your village.
I was deeply moved, humbled and struck by the strength of each woman there. Their losses had been grand and sometimes unfathomable yet they stood rooted deeper than words can illustrate and their hearts wide open and loving. I felt the immense and unlimited spirit if their being, like a bottomless ocean and I was grateful and honored to be a part of a group of women of this caliber. I finally saw reflected in them what I hadn't been able to see in my own self, though it is still hard to claim every day. (A bit of a chaotic report, there is so much to say about grief and the things I learned but my brain is still integrating. I did write a poem and I will share that shortly.) continued in comments👇👇👇
Wondering what’s wrong with this text? Swipe (left) and see! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀
Today’s blog post includes more examples that feature my novice water coloring skills. I also talk about navigating the rocky terrain of condolence texts.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ #hereforyou #condolences #grief #loss #griefandloss #noflowersnofruit #griefsupport #siblingloss #sisterloss #death
This is one of the last photos of my old boy Toby and I. 2yrs ago today I said goodbye to him just 7mths after I said goodbye to my old girl Tess. Hardest year of my life. Dogs are like people to me and I have grieved them as such. I miss them both all of the time. I am thankful to have loved my dogs so much, it still brings tears to my eyes when I think of all the life moments we shared together. 💕 #griefisnotlinear
Short Term Energy Relieving Behaviors (STERBs) are the activities in which we engage when we want to displace uncomfortable feelings. They’re distractions that keep us from confronting the truth of our experiences and can ultimately lead to unresolved grief. Common STERBs include: food, alcohol, drug use, exercise, sex, shopping (retail therapy), isolation, workaholism, anger. Not all of these activities are unhealthy on their own, but they can become toxic when we use them to escape. Look back on the times when you’ve felt grief. What behaviors did you engage in as a means of escaping your truth?
#knowyourpatterns #knowthyself #grief #griefrecovery #STERBs #truth #isolation #sex #alcohol #drugs #food #bendingoverbackwordstoavoidyourself #escape
day 17 Gratitude.
Is gratitude all it's talked up to be? I don't know.
At the time when Finley died I was far more immersed in the "hippy" world , and held the belief that everything happens for a reason. Part of this belief system found comfort in keeping a gratitude journal, finding things to be thankful for, focusing on abundance not lack.
And for a while that belief system held me up and sustained me. Seeking the silver lining in the cloud - and creating it if it wasn't there - gave me a focus. I took lots of photos of the sunshine rays on a dark day. I wrote lots about the kind actions of others. I created a whole range of reasons to be grateful to Finley 👣For choosing us as his parents 👣For staying as long as he could 👣For showing my friends and family the meaning of love 👣For the memories we have 👣For my new career 👣For discovering my passions 👣For making me who I am
But now gratitude is quite hard to maintain. Since the treatment for PTSD removed my dampener, I feel feelings again. And right now bitterness, sadness and anger are ever more present. Forever is a fucking long, lonely, painful time.
No amount of gratitude can make moments feel enough to sustain this lifetime without him.
I hate that that's the case. Because I really liked the relationship that gratitude and I used to have. Perhaps it will return again when the seasons of grief once more move on.
Release these emotions.
Release it all.
Let it out of your system.
Just allow it to go.
In whatever way it needs to be.
Just release it all.
Don't hold it in.
Don't hold onto it.
Just release it all.
This is a superb, heartbreakingly honest compilation of Bulgarian short stories about loss, grief, pain, and what is left after we lose our fathers.
A compilation that will break your heart and will help you heal it at the same time. 🍀 And I am so very grateful there are people who were brave enough to share their own pain in order to soothe another's.
„Бащите не си Отиват” е един искрен, болезнено откровен сборник с разкази. Изповед за скръбта, болката, тъгата, гнева, обичта и още толкова много.
Сборник, който раздира сърцето ти, докато четеш как другите са се споделили с теб, докато виждаш смелостта им.
Сборник, който носи поне капка облекчение, че не си сам, че има някой, който заявява, че разбира всичко, което изпитваш и ти. 🍀 И аз съм ужасно благодарна, че са се намерили смели души, които да се споделят.
#bashtitenesiotivat #бащитенесиотиват #icubg #shortstories #book #review #bookstagram #bookblogger #booklover #instareads #instabook #reading #books #bookworm #reader #beautifulbooks #bookish #bookaholic
#father #loss #grief
So I never show my face around here because to be completely honest I don’t have any professional pictures since sweet @ashleypowellphotography
took them a few years back during a headshot swap. I’m NEVER in front of a camera except an iPhone here and there and selfies with my pup that are awful quality🙃. It’s been on my mile long ‘To-do’ list for ages to hire a photographer and get real ones taken but obviously I just never have checked that box yet. This is simply a photo taken by my best friend in front of her house while her twins were running around the yard - so professional! But this is #reallife
💕 So here are 5 things about me to give you a sneak peek into who I am and a little about my life:
1. I’ve traveled to about 30 countries thus far and have a forever long travel list I hope to be able to continue check off during my life. I lived overseas for 4 years in Indonesia, Thailand and Tunisia and would never trade those experiences for anything.
2. My dog Pearl is basically the cutest pup you may ever meet and she has my whole heart. She came into my life at a very challenging time and I always say she truly saved me. The healing power of dogs is honestly mind blowing. And the love you can share with them is so special. So yes you could call me a crazy dog lady I suppose?
3. I love anything banana and always have. Banana smoothies are my favorite🍌.
4. I love the beach and the mountains. A perfect scenario in my eyes would be splitting time between the two. One can dream💕.
5. I lost my husband almost 4 years ago and it will always be a big part of my story so why not be real and open to sharing it. I don’t speak of it a lot but it’s life and will forever be a part of me. It was tragic. It was by far the worst thing I’ve ever had to face in my life. It’s been a huge challenge rebuilding my life but I’ve also grown so much and learned a lot about myself and what is really important in this life. We all take things for granted but the key is to try hard to enjoy everyday and be so grateful for what is right in front of us. I couldn’t be more thankful for the family and friends who cheer me on daily. You truly make my world go round🙌🏻.
“But ask her sometime: how old would your child be now? And she'll know." Barbara Kingsolver
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.
I spend every day missing the babies. I spend every day with some big empty spaces in my heart. I spend time every day remembering you mommas. We see you. We see the shadows in your eyes even when you smile. We see the love that causes such deep grief. We see your empty arms. We miss them too. All the babies. I am always missing my tiny warrior grandson Gideon. His absence is huge. #runnermom #nana #nanalove #infantloss #gideon #grief #october #remembering #boysinheaven #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness
👁🌏👁IMAGE QUOTE SHARED VIA @thisspirituallife
“Grandfather used to call the rain 'the erotic ritual between heaven and Earth.' The rain represented the seeds sown in the Earth’s womb by heaven, her roaring husband, to further life. •••
Rainy encounters between heaven and Earth were sexual love on a cosmic scale. All of nature became involved. Clouds, heaven’s body, were titillated by the storm. In turn, heaven caressed the Earth with heavy winds, which rushed toward their erotic climax, the tornado. •••
The grasses that pop out of the Earth’s warm center shortly after the rain are called the numberless children of Earth who will serve humankind’s need for nourishment. The rainy season is the season of life. Yes, it had rained the night before.” ✨WORDS BY:: Malidoma Patrice Somé ▪️▪️▪️
@selfcareissacred @theonenesssolution @boundariesarebeautiful
#selfcareissacred #libraseason #storms #ptsd #cptsd
Saba’s cousin was stabbed to death in Chicago after a brief scuffle on the train. The way Saba raps about his cousin—born Walter Long Jr. —you’d think he was magical, kissed by fortune his entire life. He was Saba’s mentor, his wingman, dauntless and deathless until, suddenly, he wasn’t.
To be young is often to be fixated on your own presumed indestructibility. Saba’s gorgeous, meditative new album, CARE FOR ME, begins with him singing the words “I’m so alone.” Isolation and trauma go hand-in-hand when you lose someone close, especially when that someone served as your shield for so long. “Jesus got killed for our sins, Walter got killed for a coat,” he raps. “I’m tryna cope, but it’s a part of me gone and, apparently, I’m alone.”
CARE FOR ME processes grief and its attendant loneliness, the paradox of feeling secluded during the most connected era in history, and having to manage that misery inside the social gratification matrix. So much of CARE FOR ME is an ongoing conversation trying to reconcile a cruel, unforgiving world with God’s plan. “FIGHTER” is submerged and glassy, its watery sheen glistening like it’s catching sunlight; Saba surfaces from this shimmer as if cresting in a wave pool. “It’s harder to love myself when all these people compliment me,” he raps, conflicted. It’s brutal moments of vulnerability like this that make CARE FOR ME such an enveloping experience.
Saba’s stunning exploration of loss builds to a restorative climax: the one-two punch that is the dewy-eyed odyssey “PROM / KING” and the skyward-bound drifter “HEAVEN ALL AROUND ME.” His writing is so dense yet free-flowing, so delicate and tactile. The drums crescendo into a frenzy on “PROM / KING,” to the point that Saba keeps his own time, untethered to rhythm, while never missing a single beat. The song is devastating, but it would feel almost hopeless without “HEAVEN,” a glowing conclusion to the saga that imagines a reborn Walter ascending to a better place, looking down and after Saba. It’s a remarkably powerful scene, a moment where Saba comes to realize that, despite everything, he was never alone and he never will be.