16 vs 26:
If I had compared these two photographs a year ago, I’d have thought that the left photo was the better version. I would base this opinion on how my body looks, I’d base it on the smaller dress size, slimmer legs, arms, based it on the fact that you can see my collarbones - may they rest in peace ☠️ But I look at these two photos today, and feel nothing but a little sadness for the left photo, because I remember, like it was yesterday, how I felt having that photo taken. I remember trying to strategically place my arms (awkwardly I might add) to hide my “love handles”. I wore shapewear and leggings under a DRESS because I was desperate to try and make myself as small as possible, hide my “back rolls” and firm my stomach up as much as I could. I remember looking at this photo after it had been taken and hating every single bit of it. You can see it in my face, my mind was thinking about how fat I looked and not about the night out I was about to have with my friends.
Then I look at the photo on the right, and my feelings are the polar opposite. I didn’t look at it and think about how big I am, I wasn’t immediately drawn to my stomach like I would normally be, I was drawn to the fact that I have a beaming smile on my face, my whole posture speaks absolute volumes to how I was feeling. I am happy.
has made me reflect on myself, and has taught me that a smaller dress size does not define me, it does not make me happier and it has taught me that I have wasted so so much of my life worrying about my body, passing up on opportunities because I didn’t think I was good enough, or because I didn’t think I could do it, because of my 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺.. it baffles me that things have happened to me in my life, that have trained me to think like that.
So this is my #10yearchallenge
and I am so proud of who I am, and the person I am becoming, for the first time in my life, I can say that. ✌🏼