As I sit at the airport I do what I always do I journal on my adventures, lessons, emotions, memories and what I learnt the most about myself.
This trip was so different from any other before it. This trip I did #ALONE
This trip brought laughter, tears, breakdowns, breakthroughs, up levelling, #rapid
ascension, a deeper connection to self and everything around me, release, #deepfriendshipbonds
, connection to my inner child, the flow of the feminine. My #WildWomen
was unleashed FULLY!! BUT the biggest thing I learnt was I have a heart and she is sooooooooo wide open ready to receive and she is giving #LOVE
wherever I go! I am not #scared
and I am not #afraid
. Before now my heart was closed and I had never experienced this emotion called “LOVE SICKNESS or even fully missing someone that much you get so sad and feel so lost like you have been cracked open and something is taken”. I was always living in protection mode and my masculine energy.
Here I am feeling so strange, feeling emotions I have never felt before. I called my husband crying and asked what is this strange emotion I am feeling, I feel like something is pressing on my heart and it hurts so much, please make it go away I told him. Next thing I hear soft gentle laughter and the words “Baby you are Love Sick, you are missing me”. WTF!!!! Then I start laughing well make it go away then! bring on the biggest HEART EXPANSION I have ever had and with the understanding, I am whole again.
For me, I have never let myself be fully seen, fully held by a man, fully loved, fully awakened to a place of opening my heart to the feelings of true love. For another or sadly for myself. Now my heart is so open that I feel peoples sadness, joy, emotions. I actually want to connect with others where before I would hide that piece of me to be safe, I would hide me. I didn’t know how to open my heart to another so they just got given enough to keep them beside me but never inside me, never fully touching my heart. I would never let another man hold my heart in his hands let alone trust him to keep it safe, to keep it beating and then keep it open for him to see.