I am constantly reminded of my inadequate nature. I seem to forget my reusable bags every where I go. I’m always lost. My social circle is really just 2 dots. I am struggling to find a balance of independence and a sense of belonging. Everyone knows I don’t fit in, or so I think. I am doing so many new things every day yet it never feels like enough.
I forgot that starting over was such an undertaking.
It slipped my mind how easy it is to just stay home and watch TV for hours. I am reminded of the actual effort required to restart a life, create community and establish a new norm. For whatever reason, I KNEW it would be hard to transition to life on the road but I just forgot to think about the transition back to “normal” life. How extraordinarily naive of me.
I can’t walk 5 miles into the woods and expect to get out in 2.
I can’t just smile at everyone and instantly have friends.
Despite knowing and having so little, I know I’ve got a lot. I’m just waiting for the part of the hike where you come to the clearing and see the view. There’s a striking sense that hits you. Thankfulness, accomplishment, awe.
I’m walking up the mountain and in due time, I’ll hit the clearing and realize suddenly how far I’ve come.