"We rip out so much of ourselves to be cured of things faster that we go bankrupt by the age of 30, and have less to offer each time we start with someone new. But to make yourself feel nothing so as not to feel anything - what a waste." We all do that to some extent. I did when I ran away to Italy 3 months ago after a breakup. To distract myself. To feel nothing. But with 8 hours on my flight to Milano with nothing to do but to stifle tears, I decided to watch Call Me By Your Name so I could weep openly. Unintentionally.
I watched this film while my emotions were still raw from the pain so I couldn't process everything. I was still a little shell shocked. But as the weeks passed I remembered this film more and more. I re-watched the goodbye scene at the train station. I listened to these words that Elio's father said to him. I decided I was going to go back to Italy (which I was going to do this month anyway), but I was going back to Italy to do it right this time - to feel all the emotions. All the pain, all the warmth, all the queasiness, all the love. All it means to be human. Was originally going to go to Bergamo, the place Elio and Oliver took their final trip together. But that's too sad. Decided to go to Crema instead, where it all began. Those of you familiar with the film will recognize this locale being the backdrop of the cafe scene between Elio and Oliver. It was rather crowded today so I took it from a distance.
#standbylife #standbytravel #crema #cremedelacrema #callmebyyourname #wanderlust #wanderluster #italy #italia #solotravel #lovemyway #theyellowpurseknows #somewhereinnorthernitaly