#kidsareassholes

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Don’t let fear win!
#kids Are assholes sometimes. Yeah brave to say these days as we all have to pretend are kids are awesome all the time and that our lives are perfect...#bullshit . I said this to a women once and she looked at me with the same contempt a fat person uses when they look at a salad. Everyone has disliked their kids at some point.. doesn't mean we don't love them we always love them and would sacrifice our life for them but there has been times I have looked at my child and thought your an asshole and I don't like you right now anyone thay says they haven't are liars. #justsaying #dad #dadsofinstagram #kidsareassholes #buttheirmyassholes #ilovethem #lovemykids #honesty
That the most truth right there. 👦🏼⬇️👦🏻⬇️👧🏻⬇️👶🏻💣🔥 🖕🏼🤷🏼‍♀️ #momlife #kidsareassholes #momlifeisthuglife #motherhoodisthescariesthood #ineedamaid #pleasecomecleanmyhouse #holyshitballs #itlookslikeabombwentoffinhere #fuckit #justshoveitinthecloset #reallifemama
Today Looks Like A Plan B Kinda Day 💪🏾
I walk in the kitchen tonight to fill my #hydroflask and this is on my fridge! Some may say #momfail and some may call it a #momwin either way it’s #fuckinghilarious ! Clearly my 9 year old has a very strong opinion about my 12 year old! #momofgirls #girlmom #kidsaretheworst #kidsareassholes #mommingainteasy #momlife #momlifebelike #asshead #twatwaffle
1. Thank you Facebook/Instagram for both using your algorithms to tell me @joshwolfcomedy is in Minneapolis this weekend. As intrusive and creepy as it is, dammit it’s useful sometimes. 2. Yes, I look like I’ve been crying in the first picture because I did for his entire set. 😂☠️ Not only was his new material hilarious, but he told us the extended version of his Best Practical Joke Ever (google it and thank me later) and it was everything I wanted and more. 🙌🏼😂 #FridayNight #JoshWolf #Comedian #hilarious #OneOfMyFavorites #BestPracticalJokeEver #KidsAreAssholes
There’s no doubt in my mind that this beautiful dog loves that little kid. Most of the time. #dogsofinstagram #dogs #dogstagram #gottoddlered #furryfriday
What’s dog-speak for “what happened to my life?” #gottoddlered #furryfriday #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #dogsofinstagramsg
. When taking selfies with this kid its either Cheese mammie or dont look upon my face! There is no in between. #themomsandxav #thisisagoodie #kidsareassholes #morningphoties #thankgodFriday
That’s our kid. Sitting in the middle as the game goes on. He wants no part of it and B does whatever the fuck he wants. #kidsareassholes #givesnofucks #notasoccerstar
A little bit of morning humor for all you mamas out there! I’m dying over here 😂☠️🤣 This is so accurate! That’s probably exactly what my face looks like too!! Spoiled ass kids. #momhumor #kidsareassholes #iamfuckingsantaclaus #thankyourmother #funnymommemes #momlifeisthebest #momlife #oneoftheseyearsiwillgetthemcoal
this is absolutely Jayden 😒🤦🏽‍♀️ #KidsAreAssholes
Thanks. Not like I raised you in my belly and went through hours of labor or anything... #parenting #kidsareassholes
Heyyyy!!! Hey guys!!!! My new fave thing is #locking people out!!! Yesterday, I love my mom out the house when she took the trash out, with not a single care 🙊 and tonight I locked my brother out of his room as soon as he went to the bathroom!! 💃🏿💃🏿💃🏿🤭 #princesssavage #adventuresofjourdynn is LIT 🔥 (not for anyone but her tho 😣🤣) #lilsis #badass #sourpatchkid bc now she's sad that "Bapi is sad at me" #kidsareassholes too!!
But seriously. I just made myself a little drink while Im cooking, and all of a sudden Im like "Why the fuck is the kitchen spinning, and which one of y'all jerks hung strobe lights?" (There are, in fact, no strobe lights....just regular lights, and im ALMOST positive the kitchen isnt really spinning, but idk, because my kids be on some bullshit...). . #truestory #truth #why #kidsareassholes #worldsokayestmom #cheers #vodka #ibelike #cocktails #cooking #homecookedmeals #goodnight #rp @2fiercebitches
Before: I’M KING OF THE WORLD! After: LOL. . #wcw #womancrushwednesday #gottoddlered
☝️I will remain calm. ☝️I am in charge. ☝️Think positive and happy thoughts. ☝️ I love being a mom. ☝️So grateful, so blessed, I won’t, I won’t let myself get stressed. And... then there’s reality! Waking up screaming.... begging for junk... a thousand “ No’s ,” a hundred requests, and 500 negotiations.... I think I’m going to need something stronger than affirmations 😳 .... ...... ........ .......... ......... ......... #scarymommy #hotmessmom #momsofinstagram #realmoms #realmomsofinsta #b1withletterboards #b1withmoms #thebump #lifewithlittles #wannabeblogger #momblogger #mommeme #momhumor #funnymom #momquotes #momprobs #stopdropandmom #instamom #instamommy #sahm #sahmlife #kidsaretheworst #kidsareassholes #momming #mommingainteasy #thegirlyreports #wednesdaywisdom #motherhoodunplugged #unfilteredmotherhood
I don't have kids, but the thought of raising the future generation makes me want some wine!
🆘🚨‼️ please help me 😭😩😭 I’ll deal with the candle wax and ruined hall if someone deals with the 5 year old Tasmanian devil 😭😭😭 #help #homehacks #candlewax #cleaninghacks #cleaningtips #kidsareassholes #mummyproblems
🤦‍♀️Do you have a child who goes out of his/her way to avoid eating the food you prepare? . In my home, if you don’t eat what I am making, you go to bed with a hungry belly! I will listen to your arguments about why you think eating cereal is a better choice than eating the stuffed shells I spent 45 minutes making....but my answer will still be, “That’s nice, please set the table for dinner.” . As hard as it can be to endure whining and complaining about foods your child doesn’t want to eat, keep trying! Don’t become a short order cook. Nobody’s got time for that! I have successfully turned picky eaters into “better” eaters so I promise it’s possible! . Parents, who is in charge? 👊🏼
This is the truth... and I am not so sure I’m succeeding 😬😬😬 #abeautifulmessdecor #badmoms #kidsareassholes #imanassholetoo #funny #signs #momlife #handmade #shoplocal #christmaspresents
😩 trying to make a kids rainbow halter top & my youngest just wont even try it on. #haltertop #crochethaltertop #kidshaltertop #kidsareassholes #crochet #crocheting #rainbow #allthoseprettycolours #dontworkwithkids #😩
Nothing compared to the meltdown from asking her “What are you doing?” #kidsareassholes
My daughter refused to wear clothes in bed because her 'butt is too warm' #imdone #dowhatyouwant #stubborn #momlife #kidsareassholes
More like the terrible BOOOOOOOOOs amirite? #toddlers #kidsareassholes #terribletwos
I also realized that I don’t like other people’s kids 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ #notsusiehomemaker #kidsareassholes
On the right we see the ruins of Pompeii, on the left we see the ruins of his carefree, child-free life. #mcm #mancrushmonday #gottoddlered
From a good snifter to a bad one. (Yes I know that’s not technically a snifter glass these captions are hard GET OFF ME!) #mcm #mancrushmonday #gottoddlered
🚘Family road trips are the highlight of life with the nuggets. So many memories...some involve my husband and I asking ourselves WHY we got in the car to begin with 🤯🤬😳🤭😑. #themessynest #familyfirst #toddlerproblems #momlife #parentingproblems #kidsareassholes #lovethemanyway
Straight up. I wanted cramps and a light to moderate flow. 🤷🏽‍♀️. . #truestory #lmao #kidsareassholes #itiswhatitis #worldsokayestmom #mykidsmom #goodmorning #rp @robinhoodofmemes
Anyone else’s house a fucking lunatic asylum in the mornings??
I call this artistic series: ‘My giant forehead makes it hard to keep a hat securely DOWN.’ 💁🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️😂 #mynicknameingradeschoolwaswilson #afterthebasketballs #nottomhankswilson #kidsareassholes #igrewintoit 😂 #boisestatefootball #blueandorange #bleedblue #boisestatebroncos #latergram
Don’t let this sweetness fool ya. Their Dada has been out of town for two days, just returned today thank God and let me tell you, these two have chewed me up and spit me out. From fighting over tablets and toys, to waking up at 4:30 am, to tantrums and the usual nonsense of little ones they have worked me over. Beckham just finished crying so hard he puked because I wouldn’t let him play with an unopened bottle of bubbles and Maddox just finished a tantrum because he didn’t think Harris teeter sold toys. 🤦🏻‍♀️ kids are rad. It’s not always perfect and sweet and anyone who tried to lead you to believe it is is full of shit. I’m drained. Physically and emotionally drained. #winetime #mountpleasantmama #charlestonmom #momlife #fml #kids #kidsareassholes #butilovethem #exhaustedmommy #boymom #brothers #broskisquad #bros #momminainteasy
Just another morning of giving Our human an attitude. #adventuresofknucklesthegoat #princessthehorse #riverfarm #kidsareassholes
Daughter: You always make that face in pictures. . Me: What face? . Daughter: that face. . Me: Um, thats actually just my face.😏. . SIDE NOTE: this is actually OUR face 🤣. My daughter is me, minus 21 years. . #kidsareassholes #worldsokayestmom #mykidsmom #whatevs #selfie #thatface #girlswithcurls #icanthelpmyface #mixedgirls #goodmorning
One single ice cube in a tray because #kidsareassholes (sometimes)
Me with my eldest... Call mommy squishy one more time #😂 #kidsareassholes #mom #mommemes
Posting this a day late. I am usually about 2 weeks late with holiday pics so I'm calling this a win. Why does Daisy look so effin grown?! WTF is that about?! She's 9! The little guy had a hood and scythe, but they got ditched along the way. Robert did their makeup. I really fuckin love that man. #halloween2018 #momlife #daisy #possum #ilovethesekids #dadkicksass #imsittinginmycarhidingfromthem BECAUSE #mykidsaregreat #theyrecoolasshit #imcrazyaboutthem but sometimes #kidsareassholes
The problam with only three hours sleep is that your body needs to be fuelled for those extra awake hours :( #sohungry #kidsareassholes #justgetacat #somuchcheaper
Thought I’d share a little photo of my GAY son. Today while I rode on the bus for the field trip I heard the word “gay” used in a derogatory way about 100 times. I know kids (even adults) use that word frequently now a days, but when I asked one kid if being gay was a bad thing he responded “Ewww, YES”. Its really sad that kids are taught shit like this at home. I bet that little punk wouldn’t have a problem with a gay doctor saving his life after getting his ass whooped by someone for talking negatively about them. Parents need to do better. #pissedoffmomma #kidsareassholes
I was downstairs trying to sleep and.... 🤦🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ #kidsareassholes #kidsarethebest #mykidsarejustlikeme #momlife #mommyneedsvodka #ilovemykids #funny #theymakemehappy
From dressed up to melting down. From Halloween to hella overwhelmed. #happyhalloween #mcm #mancrushmonday #gottoddlered
These costumes make perfect sense considering our children eat us alive. Happy Halloween! #wcw #womancrushwednesday #halloween 😜#halloweencostumes #halloweencostume #cookiemonster #gottoddlered
I always hear “I wanna be a coach, but my life is a mess. My marriage is struggling, I’m over weight, & I work so much... plus my kid gets all my free time...” Guess what.... Life is messy.... & Trust me, someone else is struggling with those same exact things & they are waiting for someone relatable to them! Theres a reason I have nurses, teachers, and corporate employees on my team. Do you think you can show up as a great teacher if your struggling with thousands of dollars of student loan debt? Do you think you can be the best nurse to your patients if you are overweight, have no energy and don’t have a handle on your own health? Do you think you can be the best Corporate employee if your spouse resents you from working long hours and not focusing on your marriage? Girl, I became a coach to help others & my damn self- it’s totally a #WinWin ! I am looking for coaches that want to help just themselves, who want to make an extra $200-$500 a month so they can pay of their debt, pay for kids activities, & help with holidays Must be hard working & allow yourself to believe in yourself. I need you to go all in for your own health & happiness & help other women do the same.
I would say this is a pretty solid visual representation of my day with the littles🤬They are real determined to see the boundaries of a mothers love today🙄#KidsAreAssholes #IsItTooSoonForBeer #AdventuresInHomeschooling #TheLittles
Putting together educational content while kids 4yr old fearlessly and purposefully annoys my oh so sensitive hormone raging 12 year old. One is at the “You don’t even understand me!” Phase, the other is at the “IDGAF stage”. Frank for my brain, sacred mountain for my sanity. 🤦🏼‍♀️ #mommyneedsatimeout #momsohard #momminainteasy #motherofboys #eomomma #frankincense #sacredmountain #sacred #sahm #momlife #momblogger #letsbemomfriends #kidsaresavages #kidsareassholes
As accessories go, the kid is cute and all but the pocket square is far lower maintenance. #dapperdad #mcm #mancrushmonday
Mom life to the FULLEST today... 😒 . We're all sick. I stayed home with the boys today, because Wyatt had awful croup last night, and can't go to daycare. . We're all miserable and tired. And you know what's the worst... A sick and tired 3 year old.. 🙄 . I'm trying to get caught up on house work, because I was down and out all weekend. So I put Rhett down for a nap, and made Wyatt go lay in bed for quiet time (betcha he falls asleep😉), because this mama needs some ME TIME. 👊🏻 . Drank my magical Mommy Crack, now to crush out day 1 of my final week of this program, then continue with my housework. Excercise gives me mental clarity, and patience for my children! Especially my toddler. 🙈 . My 'sick day's isn't very relaxing. Lol #MomLife
The honeymoon couldn’t be more over. #gottoddlered #honeymoon #mcm #mancrushmonday
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