On Tuesdays, we #transform
Dec 18, 2017. #MyFitnessPal
says I was 241lbs.
This was after two doctors brushed off my #ChronicPain
, denied me access to an #MRI
which is free. 💝
This was after months of fibro-related acne, thee worst acne of my life. Months of not wearing makeup regularly because my skin was too sensitive. Months of heightened #socialanxiety
because of it. 💝
I internalized not fully understanding pain/weakness with #malnourishment
I lived in #fear
. Fear of falling in the shower. Fear of someone brushing against me too hard. Fear of reinjuring myself and sending waves of unexplained pains through my body (thank God my new doctor will send me to get all the pains checked). 💝
I look back at these moments of #hurt
, and I cry for that girl who was craving answers. 💝
Like I have done throughout this journey, in moments where we slip, I grab her by the hand and reassure her #ThingsGetBetter
In moments of #trauma
, for people with #childhoodtrauma
, we often forget the basics of #selfcare
. We revert to a #TraumatizedChild
. So when possible, it is important for the adult in us to step in and remind us of the #knowledge
we possess. 💝
I remember these moments with sadness so I can never forget the reality that so many people face in our « free » Canadian healthcare system (there is a cost on our bodies; it’s taxing!). This transformation isn’t easy, it’s #beautiful
, but it’s not all about #beauty
Now on a happy note ☺️I look back to say, if this is how far I’ve come in 12 months, then I am pumped to see the Grace in 12 months from now 😻.
when times have gotten harder I’ve fought back with loving myself more, learning to #understand
my self more, and #caring
for myself more. 💝
I’m excited to be reading Clean: The Revolutionary Program to Restore the Body’s Natural Ability to Heal itself by Dr. Alejandro Junger, a cardiologist.
With a new understanding of #CleanEating
, I look forward to taking these necessary steps next 😻.
#IWannaHoldYourHand #YoureBeautiful #MariahCarey #Miguel #KissItBetter #Rihanna #SoundtrackOfMyLife #60lbsdown