New year/new blog post! “Brand New Person/Same Old Mistakes?” I lied about not being afraid. Not on purpose, because I truly wasn’t afraid to leave everything behind and embark on this journey. I’m laying in a hammock- realizing I planned to have a home, physical possessions, royalties, a new life to return to and won’t have any of it. At least I have this moment this beautiful azure lagoon. (Full post joshovaswitness.com.) In the pursuit of finishing my first book, my life’s mission- to help others’ know their worth- I lost focus of a few things- financially and otherwise. I’ve said it was worth it all, but now, it’s too soon to tell. Likes don’t translate to $, or birds and books - a message of hope in hand.
1/1/2019 finds me starting from scratch, again, in some ways. We restart smarter, more focused & with new goals to achieve. Or am I just a Brand new person making the same old mistakes?
I put my all of my eggs in one basket. The realization that it may have been for nought looms very real. I have a couple eggs left- more than that, honestly. Those of us who have 5 senses, who have a bed to sleep on, at least for tonight. Those reading this probably have much more going for you than not.
It would be easier, to throw in the towel. To say my life is forfeit. That would really undo it all. The message of strength & self-acceptance would ring hollow. The egoic, fear-based nature I’ve shed, comes creeping back when faced with the realization that I may have failed. No one may read this book, or my next one- even though it’s what motivates me and enflames my passions.
The temptation to remain paralyzed in fear, & regret is illusory but always an option. I’ve lived that before, for years at times. Living this way would make me feel more incomplete than any misstep that has been taken.
Or- I can swallow my pride, take care of business, & start again- again. #newyear #author
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