So this letter came in the mail the other day.
I wrote it to myself. It was written in Janurary at a Shaun T event I went to. The point of it was to write specifically I was going to accomplish and be vunerable.
I remembered recently that it was coming soon and couldn't remember what I wrote, but I couldn't wait to see what I thought I'd have accomplished by now.
And I was quite sad when I saw what I wrote. I remembered I tried really hard to follow each station correctly, completely let go and be fully vulnerable. I thought I did well. But after reading this, I see I didnt fully let go of my fears that day and held back. I remember Shaun T did a little raffle and pulled 3 letters, and made the girls read them out loud be fully vulnerable and write a better letter to themselves to help them believe in themselves. Now I'm wishing he had pulled mine because I could have used that help to break the fear barrier.
I was not at my best in Janurary. I had been doing so well during my journey and it came crashing during the winter. I had started letting myself go again. And I knew it. I think I didnt write anything I would have accomplished by now, because I didnt believe I would have done anything. And it's sad to think I was there, even during this growing journey.
So I'm so glad to see that I've grown so much since then and accomplished things that I could have written down on that letter. I'm more open minded and stronger. I do have down falls,like these past two weeks, but as soon as I feel physically capable I am SO mentally ready!! And that's what's different then that girl. And I wish that girl had believed that earlier.
I now know my self worth. And I'm glad I still went to that conference even with fear. Because of the words Shaun T said to me when I sobbed as he held me. "Dont thank me! Thank yourself, you're the one doing the work." So, yes no work out again this morning, I've had swollen tonsils, a deep cough and congestion. I went to the doctors yesterday and been put on antibiotics for a virus. I woke up this morning feeling sicker than I did yesterday and SO beat. Working out does help stress, but not physical stress. So, when I'm better!! 🤧💪