I want to talk about some of the gritty parts of Bpd.
It some times gets a bad rap. Sometimes I think we don’t talk about the gritty parts of it. I sometimes gloss over it I think, maybe not sharing the dark worried of shame. ————————————————————————
I think it’s because it’s masked & comes out in many forms. Also it’s illness that takes lots of therapy work. It’s undoing layers and layers of past trauma, abuse & fear.
Having to gain tools to strengthen your brain so you can cope. That’s hard work if you don’t have the tools. Worth it but hard.
It’s debated in medical world and some doctors still don’t think it’s a real illness.
My personal experience, we have fought hard for my mental health.
Finding the right care / getting help, we have had some wins but we fight for the wins & I’m thankful for my support team.————————————————————————
Also these symptoms can seem intense to others, hey they are super intense for person with them! So I get it.
Here are a few I have & do experience:
It can be really scary when you hear voices
When you feel high then low, you are in a constant roller coaster daily sometimes.
Flash backs & triggers
Having to limit & control activities so that you don’t explode
Pushing away people you love.
Feeling so much.
Extreme fear of abandonment
Self harm is a common bpd trait and as a recovering self harmer it is one of the hardest things that I have had overcome and admit to, I work hard to heal. It gets lot of shame still too.————————————————————————
Almost 80% of those with BPD report a history of suicide attempts, and suicide deaths range between 8-10%. This rate is 50 times greater than that found in the general population. - SAMHSA
It’s true I have found lots of light in the dark but I also think it’s important to advocate about the dark too.