Overall things are going well, but in all of this, there is still adjustment. Not being open enough, clear enough to those around me has always been a weakness of mine.
⠀⠀ Communicating my needs, staying open, being vulnerable about my discomfort (genuinely and in the real life moment) is something that was worked out of me over the last 20 or so years. Maintaining friendships has always been difficult, too. For many reasons. Moving houses, moving states, changing phone numbers, losing email addresses, breaking up, maturing, growth, anxiety...
⠀⠀ I often feel as though I’m not wrapped strongly enough on the inside to really let people in. I’ll even go so far as to make space wide enough for other people to fit inside of my soul just to distract from talking about myself and my feelings. But really I am just a Lion with a thorn in her paw. And when I do start to shrivel up into myself, I trust that people will understand that I am too delicate. Which isn’t their responsibility. I am learning, but slowly.
⠀⠀ Then there was this. A gift. Moth as symbol of transformation, as seeker, finder of personal truth through cloudy darkness. Knowing that, even when things are still shifting and people are evolving around you, you are held in place most securely by your power. The universe acknowledges the work that we do and sends us signs that we are on the right path.
⠀⠀ Slow down, see the moments of light drifting around you like the dappling through tree branches. It’s okay to be scared of the dark, but you are absolutely capable of finding your own way to the other side.
⠀⠀ People will drift, lovers will leave, sometimes you won’t remember to call because you are drowning in your skin. It’s okay. Breathe deeply and remember that “this too shall pass.” Be proud of those who walk away from you because you both will be better for it; and when you meet again in the future, you will have such stories to share.
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