Dear Depression, Social Anxiety, ADHD & OCD...You made me feel worthless - I felt like a burden - I felt like a failure & that I would never be good enough in this world. You turned me into my own worst enemy - I beat myself up for every mistake I made - tiny or big. I looked in the mirror disgusted with what I saw. You shot dark thoughts into my head & kept me awake as my own mind haunted me. Anxiety, Your constant worrying never allowed me be present - my life was either regretting my past, or fearing my future. Every choice ran through my brain endlessly - leaving me unable to make choices in fear of messing up. You never let me get over my past - always in a state of “what if”. You made it impossible for me to have a social life - talking, eating, &being with people was a nightmare. You made me feel alone & caused me to isolate myself & lose contact with family/friends. You used every tear in my body, as I cried my eyes out until it burned. You drained my energy to the point where falling asleep in class was a daily happening,accompanied by my teacher picking on me - “Look who decided to actually show up for class today” my teacher blurted out in-front of all my classmates. [Humiliation, fury, embarrassment]. To ADHD, you made school incredibly difficult - I felt isolated from my peers. Nobody wanted to be my partner. I was rejected by my own peers for simply learning differently than them. I felt dumb, stupid, &incapable of success. For me, self esteem was non-existent. OCD, you turned my life into a ball of fear. The irrational thoughts that came with the need for order, perfection, &symmetry disrupted my mind. Panic attacks, U hurt me mentally&physically.U caused me chest pain, alarming panic, &difficulty breathing. &Despite it all, I am here today-stronger than ever before.The brutality, shame, & struggle taught me more about myself than I thought was possible.I turned the anger U caused me into fuel to work & fight harder, like my life depends on it, because it does.U taught me to love my imperfections, stay focused on my priorities &most importantly, U took me to the darkest places for me to realize that I matter.
Thank you. 💪🏻