There's no other love like the love for a brother ♡ There's no other love like the love from a brother.
It wasn't until I got #cleanandsober
that my brother told me he'd been distancing himself from Me over the past few years. That it was too painful to look at me, to be with me, to try and guess which version of the drunk & fucked up sister he would be witness too.
told me that he had been forced to resign from our relationship. That he'd been awaiting the phone call that would signify my death. He believed my grave would be the next place he'd visit me.
Self forgiveness is elusive in this area; as a big sister I have failed him our entire lives. Growing up I was always terrified I would lose him. I KNEW he deserved better ... and in my attempts to prove it, instead of changing my actions & my attitudes, I ran away ... I left him. I couldn't find it within myself to BE the sister I wanted to be, wished I could be. The sister he deserved. I didn't know how. I sacrificed our relationship because I was too weak, too lost, too selfish and self-centered. •
I hurt him. I broke his heart; The lies, the deceit, the emotional abuse, the positions I placed him in.
And yet, he has forgiven me.
He came to visit me while I was in treatment. We talked almost daily. He has read the #BigBook
multiple times for the sole purpose to try and understand ME & #MYDISEASE
better ... even though he knows he will never fully understand, for he does not share the same affliction. We talk openly & HONESTLY. I am [present] for him, for us. I AM FINALLY HIS SISTER. ❤
is still elusive, however, there are promises to him, and to myself, that I intend to keep; my sobriety and our relationship. #relationshipgoals
"A sibling may be the keeper of one's identity, the only person with the keys to one's unfettered, more fundamental self."
#siblinglove #myyoungerbigbrother #myperson #hearthappy #myprotector #weliveoutsidethetouchoftime #lifetimelove #mybrother #mybest #lastingmemories #myhero #myinspiration #beyondblessed #soulsobriety #cleanandserenecanadian #grateful #soberlife #iwontletyoudownanymore #bigsistersobriety