I am moving at high speed-I was practicing non stop with Vinay 3 times x day until yesterday at 4:30,and today I am disappearing in the colorful crowds of Mumbai, walking around in the neighborhood of Santa Cruz, as if I did this naturally every evening. Everything is happening so quickly- And I have not had yet time to integrate in my life all that I have learned the past month.
We learn really only when we push ourselves outside of the comfort zone-or when we are lucky enough to find a teacher that pushes us there.
The longer we practice, the more difficult it is to find our “weak spots” because the difficult poses become increasingly easier,or maybe because the attachment to the physical part of the practice fades, and we no longer really care so much about doing certain poses that allured us when we started.So it might be that after a few years you start to feel comfortable in your practice. You are doing pretty good after all. Even better, you became a teacher so you think you KNOW.
This is the worst mistake we can make- we need nor stop learning nor moving away from the seat of the student, EVER.
Vinay managed to push me out of the comfort zone in new ways. By being severe, controlling every little moment I was doing that was unnecessary, forcing me to stick to a fix sequence, practicing in a way that for me was too fast, waking up at 4:15 every morning.
And then one fine day, to start off the class, Vinay decided to move me publicly from the first row to the last row- yes from the row of the “advanced” students to the row of the beginners. I was a little confused- that’s when I realized the best thing I could do was to quickly move my mat while I simultaneously kicked my ego out of the Shala to never allow it back. Moving to the last row was probably the greatest moment of growth this month. And I learned SO much in the last row!! We don’t realize the extent of the transformation until the teacher leaves us and we have to walk the journey on our own. Tomorrow I’m finally on holidays.I’m not teaching, I don’t have a class to go to, for the first time in 8 months.
And- I can’t wait to jump on that mat,to explore all the ways in which I have grown.