Why I Wrote Angels in the OR: What Dying Taught Me About Healing, Survival and Transformation: Part I
Most English majors secretly or not so secretly dream of getting a book published. Since I could read, I’ve been in love with words, craft, creativity, and deep truths that are communicated in ways that shock the heart and soul with recognition. I remember the first book I read about a kind farmer who had to relocate a carrot who wasn’t getting enough water because of all the large flowers around it. The carrot felt odd and sad, but the farmer assured the carrot that the carrot deserved just as much love and sunlight as everyone else. The carrot wasn’t odd but useful and beautiful in its own way, and once the carrot was replanted the world loved the carrot and the carrot loved the world and the farmer. Sometimes, we lose so much but find our place of love in this world. I was much like that carrot for most of my young life. Even after my near-death experience, I was strange to many people and saw the world differently. It wasn’t until I learned to stay in that flow of love from the other side that life began to transform for me. Most people know that my book begins with a traumatic car accident and near-death experience during spinal surgery. What my story also covers is just how much we are sometimes asked to survive and transform throughout the span of our lives. Sometimes, we heal just enough to survive something even more catastrophic. Sometimes, we wonder why we have been asked to bear so much suffering. Eventually, if we stay connected to divine possibilities for healing and transformation, we can find that healing comes from the light that we bring to the lives of others and to ourselves. We hardly even recognize our old selves in the act of serving others. We become more deeply integrated in that light. When we learn to stand in our power, and we have wisdom to share. Everything survived, healed, and transformed can be used to help someone else. Your journey is so often a hero’s journey.
#angelsintheor #triciabarkernde #triciabarker #memoir #firstbook #neardeathexperience #healer #healingjourney #highervibes #higherawakening
Top Ten Signs of the Afterlife 3/10
A Call from Heaven
When I first started collecting afterlife stories I would receive accounts of lights flickering, doorbells ringing, jewellery boxes playing or clocks inexplicably ticking again after years of not working.
Nothing illustrates this better than Jenny’s story:
One Saturday morning I slept in longer than usual. My mobile rang and I ignored it. Five minutes later it rang again but when I reached for my phone it stopped. After about a minute it rang again. It was my father. I was delighted to hear from him. I loved the sound of his rich and warm voice – always have. He asked me how I was doing and when I told him I was working too hard he reminded me that nobody on their deathbed remembers how much time they put in at work. What they think about is the connections they made and if they and those they loved were happy. I laughed and asked him how he knew all that and he said, ‘Trust me, Daisy’ (his nickname for me) ‘I know.’ Then he said he loved me and always would and hung up.
When I put my phone down it felt like I had just done the ice-bucket challenge. I felt a profound sense of shock and wonder that I had not thought to question the call. You see my father had died years earlier. Then it hit me again. My father had died six years ago that day. I had completely forgotten it was the anniversary of his death.
I called my brother and he said I was imagining it. He told me to check my phone records. I did and at 7.05 and 7.12 and then again at 7.14 I had received calls from a number listed as ‘Unknown’.
Of course, there could be a rational explanation in that Jenny was dreaming and the calls were spam calls, but the perfection of the timing speaks otherwise. For Jenny this was a phone call from heaven. Even if a rational explanation could be found, the call felt real for Jenny and gave her much-needed hope and comfort – and anything that does that is spirit-sent in my book.
“The dangerous part of the mind/where fears of shadows/I dwelled in deep/No one could hear/& I tripped steep/so many nights of inflicted hate/hoping there will be of sunlight to see/I know the meaning of this/as the past was ripped/my heart was beating for two/pumping for blood & I had my vices/desperate for my whole/but the bottle, pills was always there where I had no where else to turn/walking like a zombie/to face the ugly girl/at the hospital bed/where I almost lay stopped breathing/only a few knew/a prisoner of war/hearing sirens of false convictions/being isolated by the nurse of a room in the dark/speaking tongues/my chest jumped/but didn’t get the job done/there’s a whole world inside of me/save yourself & pray for me/Begging of yell/Is this what I get for the choices I have made?/the burdens of the voice/silence of my loudest cries/but rebirth of the universe/I said I’m surprised I’m still alive/after a dozen times of suicide/I met the serpent myself/no fear when guardians of star-seeds/knowing my luck/I’ll be reborn again/as I remember the feeling of being a ghost/after surrendering of a new rebirth/speak in Hebrew in tongues/Now I’ll be the one who will save you from your temple/then feed you to the wolves/don’t ever confuse me as John Dee” ~My Pagan Vows Without My Consent 👹Alajavous🤡 #poetry #inspired #heyokaempath #infj #spiritualawakening #enlightenment #shaman #survivor #poltergeist #spiritualwarfare #aztecwarrior #goddess #divine #wisdomclown #alchemist #satanic #satanist #satan #inspired #creativity #surrender #neardeathexperience #wiccan #whitewitchcraft #gypsy #telepathy #apprentice #ego #anxiety #addiction #heaven
• This guy just got slapped by a tree •
An old photo resurfaced today that brought back some trauma. On this day I met the man I would hold a grudge with till this DAY! TILL THIS DAY! *in Deontay Wilder voice* On this day I started beefing with a murderer named Marvin Harrison. I almost punched him but @zackgadberry
held me back.... aaand from the he followed me to all my Sprint stores causing havoc and chaos until he retired and shot someone in Philly 😏 #neardeathexperience
Thanks for the photo Alex.... real cool of you to post it 🤨
“Look at your feet.
You are standing in the sky.
When we think of the sky,
we tend to look up,
but the sky actually begins
at the earth.
We walk through it,
yell into it, rake leaves,
wash the dog, and drive cars in it.
We breathe it deep within us.
With every breath,
we inhale millions
of molecules of sky,
heat them briefly,
and then exhale them
back into the world.”
Made with @plotagraph
Plotagraph Artist and Edit: @joshstyle
One thing I learned through my near death experience is that you have to go after what you want. You must allow yourself to head in the direction of your inner callings, your deepest dreams and desires, even if you don’t achieve them.
Because once you begin to deeply desire something, it becomes a part of who you are. It literally expands to become a part of your soul, your Higher Self, and it begins to call you into alignment with it.
So when we don’t expand ourselves by heading in the direction of our desires, this keeps us from being in alignment with the energy of our Higher Self, and this creates an energy damn within us that fucks our body up!!! Literally.
It’s the root cause to many of the chronic illnesses and disease we experience: the blocked energy of unmet desires, and abandoned inner callings.
A part of loving ourselves is following our callings, our dreams, and our joys. Even if they never materialize, the journey towards them keeps our energy flowing, clean and aligned, which in turn keeps our bodies healthy. When we don’t, we hold the vibration of suppression and regret, which toxifies our bodies, and keeps us from feeling fulfilled.
Be well, Divine One.
Go after what you want.
Not doing so is not benign.
It’s not benign at all.
Much ❤️, Jerome. [Pictured: Me following my own inner calling to share my story and message on film 🙌🏿]. #neardeathexperience #spiritualgrowth #spirituallesons #selfhelp #selflove #loveyourself #chakras #healing #followyourjoy #bewell #wellbeing #spirituality #clearyourenergy #energyflow #vibration #energyhealing #passion #bodyhealth
Give one of these compliments today!
So I got to get real with you all! We live in a superficial society that is obsessed with looking good. I get it I like looking good. It’s human.
I have an interesting relationship with physical appearance compliments . On one hand , it feels nice to be complimented on your appearance . To me it feel even better to be complimented on my courage, inner strength , ideas, passion, my living heart!
I know at a deep level that my physical appearance is not who I am. I am this energy that is within my physical being.
In my near death experience, I looked over my physical bleeding body and had a realization that my identity is not my body. In fact, had past life’s as all different types of people ( not just a blonde white girl). The essence of who I am is not in the outer layer. And the essence of you is more than meets the eye. There is so much more to a person than what meets the eye.I dream of a day where our culture is more focused on the essence or spirit of the person .
You must Love your body. Take good care of it. Because it is your home. It is your vehicle that allows you to experience life.
I spent the afternoon relaxing at a sauna, but found out the cold showers were broken after spending 20 minutes sweating away. This, of course, leads to a headache. Luckily the headache is over now, but feeling a little shaken. I was nearly killed by a police car racing up to me from behind on a footpath with lights flashing, but no sirens. I suppose they thought I have eyes in the back of my head. This wasn't what upset me, though. Being nearly killed by the police is business as usual for a pirate. What upset me was the girl the police were heading for. She was extremely upset and screaming in the middle of the street, gawked at by stupid bystanders, while surrounded by three (!!) police cars and about seven policemen. I'm sure they took good care of her, but having extensive personal experience with mental illness I felt extremely sorry for her. 😢 #sauna #myday #piratelife #neardeathexperience #almostrunover #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #pity #wethair
Today is my 23 year anniversary since my Near-Death-Experience/Traumatic Brain Injury. 🙏🏻❤️😇 The day I went into a coma. No matter how long it’s been, Anniversaries always have meaning and serve purpose. Reflection is a powerful Gift that comes with any Anniversary of all kinds.
I like to apply my Gratitude and Faith Oils, Meditate and do some Journaling after I read every year the Letter my dad wrote me and gave to me on the One Year Anniversary. Here are the final paragraphs of that Letter - I think it’s powerful Wisdom we can each benefit from. Thank You Dad for sharing!
Thanks for the Text this morning, Mom and for both of you being the Anchor all these years and the reason I am where I am today. 🙏🏻❤️
By Noon on this day in 1995, I was very close to death. Life is fragile. I am grateful I was Blessed with a second chance and have lived some amazing years these past 23!
With the biggest Blessing of them all being the birth of Evan Craig whose guess date to be born was also December 13! 17 years to the date I crossed over. Again - God is good! Life and Death are both Teachers for us. It truly is a Circle. ✝️💟
Evan’s birth time ended up starting on the 14th and he was born on the 15th. I always say - he wanted his own special Day! I don’t blame him 😊❤️
This weekend we are celebrating his 6th Birthday, when 23 years ago on that date I was still in a coma. There is much to Celebrate and I am Blessed!
Here’s to another day! God is good. 🙏🏻❤️ I will be going Live tonight on my Facebook Page for a special Chat and Angel Card Reading with Oils.
Hope to have you join me!
As some of you know, this date is the anniversary of my near-death experience or actually my death. Twice.
12/12/1999, the day I came back after living between worlds for over 24 hours.
My heart stopped for many minutes each time. Time of death was called by the doctors twice.
It is a strange place to be in reflection all these years later as my brain and nervous system have slowly opened up some more memories from that time.
Just last year, my Dad gave me more information and insight into his experiences of what happened to me that night as he was with me in the emergency room.
Those will be shared another time and in a different format.
Mother Mary was a huge part in my rebirth and why I am here. I never made the connection until today that it was the day of honoring her. 12/12 is the day of honoring Our Lady of Guadalupe.
The miracle of life is not one to be taken for granted. Each breath, each sunrise, is a gift.
I give thanks and praise to the one that said, “She’s not done yet.” touched my heart, and I took a breath as my heart started beating again.
#breatheagain #rebirth #healthyhappyhealedwhole #mothermary #divinemother #gratefulheart #aliveandwell #godismypaperclip #neardeathexperience #shesnotdoneyet #lifeisagift #dontblink #peaceful
Sup everyone! Ever think about how lucky you are to be alive? What if in your life there were many times that you could have died? Do you appreciate your life?
If you have near death experiences, please share them in the comments below. I'd love to hear from you!
That's what today's article is about. Go over to my site, Simsational Living or 5s75.com, and check it out!
New video dropping today or tomorrow about my first couple days back in the gym on Simsational Enterprises YouTube page!
#neardeathexperience #neardeathexperiences #survivinglife #survive #gettin #avoiding #wintoday
"I then began to think to myself, 'Did I just die? Is this the Afterlife? Where is this? Is this all there is when we die - nothingness?' I started to worry that perhaps this was a type of Purgatory as described in the Holy Bible. I felt completely isolated and wondered if perhaps this was not Purgatory, but that in fact there is nothing but a black dark void when a person dies. Perhaps there is no Afterlife and atheism was accurate - when we die there is just nothingness. After pondering this for a while, I decided that this did not make sense. Because if that were the case, why would my self-awareness continue to exist? If I still knew who I was, even if I didn't know exactly where I was, how I got there, or why I was there, then this was some type of Afterlife. There was the only explanation that made sense to me at the time.
As I floated in this void, I started to think to myself, 'Okay, so what did I do with my life on Earth? What did I accomplish? What did I do that meant anything?' The initial feeling that overwhelmed me as the answer to these questions was, 'I accomplished nothing. Everything I did was meaningless and no consequence.' But then I began to realize that this was true only to a certain degree. There were some things that mattered, but only a few. The first was relational connections with other sentient beings. The second was any altruistic acts I engaged in while living on Earth in a physical form. But those were basically the only things that really mattered."
#spirituality #meditation #consciousness #spiritual #love #enlightenment #truth #universe #wisdom #higherconsciousness #goodvibes #nde #space #neardeathexperience #energy #oneness #transcend #path #galaxy #freedom #fantasy #goodvibes #imagination #freedom #mindfulness #peace #awakening
- Today on the Mindful Heart Project Podcast I interviewed Sharon Milliman. In her lifetime she’s had four near death experiences. In the interview she shares the details of her experiences and the information she gained. (Link in bio). To celebrate, I’m giving away a free copy of her booK. TO ENTER TO WIN: Like this post, Follow @nicole_molloy
and Tag a friend who loves learning about spirituality.
.#nde #neardeathexperience #bethelight #wordsofwisdom #lost #themeaningoflife
The five senses we know of (and the extra senses we do not understand) are gateways to the cosmos.
Dear humans who love me often ask if I want my smell, my taste, and my entire field
of vision to return.
I cannot answer this question.
I tend to practice acceptance first, then transformation. And so many do not realize that metamorphosis is always evolutionary.
We don’t wake up every day to tell consciousness what we want, like we’re writing a wish list to Santa;) This human energy experience is far more collaborative and far more subtle than that. Far more sophisticated. Metamorphosis is not interesting to me, or informative, if it is unnecessarily rushed.
I enjoy my pace.
I have learned for five years to adapt to 2 and a half senses. The body is fast and slow. The body is both. The body knows what it is doing. If I woke up tomorrow and had my senses fully restored all of a sudden, the body would go into shock.
Either way requires adaptation.
These physiological, neurological changes have catapulted me into a spiritual experience unlike anything I could have imagined. First there was a terrible grief. Now an ecstatic joy.
I carry both.🐬
These neurological changes made me
reach towards you with my hands.
These neurological changes made me
use the eyesight I have to see you and color
and shapes, more clearly.
These changes expanded my capacity
to hear you more deeply with my ears.
These neurological changes have given
my Extra Sensory Perception (ESP) room
to develop beyond anything I could have,
or would have, ever believed.
We think the magic is out there.
The magic is here, in this breathing alive thing.
There is evidence everywhere.
Your body is sensing the world.
and the path
Coming in 2019 | NYC
The HeartMind Experience
Are you ready to sense?🐬