"There are times I don’t know my worth. I don’t know what I deserve because I feed my fear over my confidence. I don’t know what I’m capable of because I allow the noise around me to silence my voice. I stay when I should leave because I think that’s loyalty. I keep toxic people in my life because I think that’s what loving people actually means. I do things I don’t want to do because I think I am being selfless. I don’t say what I’m actually feeling because I think I’m choosing my battles.
There are times I don’t love myself. I don’t love my gigantic heart because it gets me in trouble. I don’t love my over-thinking mind because it stops me from being carefree. I don’t love my body because of the barriers I project onto it. I don’t love my anxiety because I can’t run away from it.
There are times I’m my worst enemy. I blame myself about things I’m not proud about my past because I still struggle with being a human. I get disappointed in myself when I fail because I hold myself to a standard. I give up on myself when nothing is working because somehow I’m convinced it’s my fault. I let myself go when I feel so much pain because I simply don’t know how to manage it.
I’m not always happy. I’m not always in a good mood. I’m not always grateful to be alive.
I don’t always feel heard. I don’t always feel cared for. I don’t always feel loved.
There are times I don’t want to be seen. I don’t want to be vulnerable because the idea of being rejected by someone I am falling for is unbearable. I don’t want to be honest about my beliefs because I’m tired of being misunderstood. I don’t want to show my scars because people have used them against me before.
There are times I don’t feel this world is my home. I don’t always feel a sense of belonging. I don’t always feel like I’m living the life that is an authentic reflection of the person I am. And I don’t always feel like I know myself.
I will uncover my truth until it shines on its own and I will dig deep into my soul until I find myself because this is me finally being authentic."
"I live in a world that moves fast.
Trends change faster than I can replace the clothes in my closet. Deadlines approach quicker than I expect them to. People come and go, like flowers through the seasons. Time goes on.
And even though I'm sometimes emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted because of how fast everything is moving – and all I want is for time to freeze so I can catch my breath – unfortunately the world doesn’t stop for anyone.
I'm constantly pushed to my limits to go further, to do better. I compare my life to other people’s lives as a reassurance of my progress and achievements, and to reaffirm where I think I'm supposed to be.
Let’s take social media as an example. My social media feeds are filled with pictures of happy people, good times, nice places, beautiful wardrobes, and seemingly no worries in the world. Very rarely will I see people sharing about the negative things in their lives – their struggles, their mental health issues, their heartbreak, their worry, their loss, their tragedies.
It’s not a fair representation of what real lives really look like on a day-to-day basis, but sometimes I forget that. I'm too hard on myself to live that picture-perfect life where I try my best to make everything go smoothly, from school to relationships.
What I see are people’s highlight reels – not their behind-the-scenes. It’s what goes on behind closed doors when they're all alone at the end of the night, there’s no one there to keep them company at their lowest.
It’s okay to struggle sometimes. It’s okay to be behind on things. It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to feel like the world is falling apart. It’s okay to not yet be the person I see as the end goal.
When it happens, I'll take a moment to slow down, and just be in the moment. I'll breathe." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k19 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscogrammers #vscolovers #picoftheday #fujifilm #fujifilmph #fujifilmlifestyle
"Starting now, I will not allow toxic people to infiltrate my world. I don't need their negativity. I will not fool myself into believing I am the one in the wrong for walking away. Removing myself from the situation does not make me childish. It makes me strong. If they do not understand that, I'll extract them from every area of my world because I deserve to live without their weight.
I'll put effort into the places that matter. I will not waste my energy worrying about people who could not care less about me and put effort into the relationships that mean the most to me. I'll put effort into the passions that burn inside me. Set aside time for what means the most to me and forget the rest. The years are sliding by quickly, so, I will not take my time for granted.
I will develop a better relationship with myself. I'll stop wishing I looked different, calling myself stupid, cringing over every misspoken word. I'll be softer on myself - silence the voice in my mind who harasses me and limit the amount of time I spend feeling sorry for myself. I'll remedy my insecurities by being kinder to myself, by complimenting myself, by recognizing my own beauty.
I'll show appreciation for the people who value me. I'll stop moping about crushes who are unable to see my worth and exes who have left me shattered. The next time I feel bad about myself, I'll glance around at all of the people who are still by my side, all of the people who have been there for me from the start and are not planning on going anywhere. Instead of crying about the people I cannot have, I'll start thanking the ones who are here.
And I'll leave my comfort zone, not get stuck in place. I will not settle for an average existence. I'll take risks, leap into the unknown and remind myself the scariest things are often the most satisfying in the end. If there is something I want to say or something I want to try, then I will not hold myself back anymore. I'll push aside my worries and embrace my opportunities.
I will just enjoy every moment. Make this a year to remember." Cheers to the remaining months of 2019! ✨
"Sometimes, I don’t realize I am in the middle of a memory until the moment has passed me by and I step back from the situation. Days later, I begin to think about the moment, analyzing the details of each conversation; what the words meant, how the actions were or were not connected to the words. The facial features; the way they changed over the course of the conversation and how I could see through them but couldn’t get the explanation I was looking for. I etch that moment in my brain, trying to hold on to something.
It’s not always this way. Sometimes, I know I am making memories in the exact moment they are happening. I find myself stopping and saying, sometimes out loud, 'I’ll never forget this moment,' and I don’t. I commit it to the memory; the sights, sounds, and smells.
But the memories I didn’t know I was making; the ones that I can’t possibly know are even going to become memories? Those are the ones that kill me most. They are the ones that disguise themselves as a quick trip to the store for something as trivial as deodorant or Jell-O and wind up being engrained on my brain for years to come. They are the ones where a song can stop me dead in my tracks, smiling or crying (or maybe both) because they pull me so close to the moment that it hurts. They are buried in smells I forgot existed that blaze by me, turning my head as I begin to silently reminisce about the moment tied to that one scent, feeling like I've been punched in the stomach by life.
Turns out that even the best memories just make me miss the things I was tied to; the way things were, the things that could have been but couldn’t then. I ache for these moments to be so much more than memories; to be pieces I could relive, if even just for a moment. And maybe I would change the outcome and maybe the outcome would change me (more than it has already). And maybe nothing would change but I'd hold on to the people for just a second longer, then maybe, I wouldn’t be so worried that that moment would be our last memory."
"I find that I spend a lot of my life comparing myself to others. I compare their experience to mine, and then I question what I'm doing and how can I outshine them. But the truth is, everyone has a different journey, and the worst thing I can do is compare mine to anybody else. Mine is unique.
I meet people my whole life who know precisely what they want and how to get it, and that is great for them. But if you’re like me, then you’re a slow starter and spend a lot of the time procrastinating, and that’s absolutely okay.
Somebody’s best advice or method of success could apply to them but not necessarily comply with you — please remember that.
I have to learn from my own mistakes, not through someone else’s. I have to think with my own mind and not let anybody else influence my decisions. They do not know the answers to my life any better than I do. I'll be the one in control.
At the end of the day, I am who I spend my time with. If I know what I want, then I should go out and get that. I will not let anybody stop me no matter what they think or what they might tell me.
If I find myself failing, then I'll get back up on the saddle and try again. I will not let one little mistake or failure put me off because there is not one person in the world that has all the answers.
Some people enjoy the journey more than the destination while some enjoy the target and don’t feel accomplished until they reach that. That took me a very long time to learn, but either way is fine because neither one is right or wrong.
I will not overcomplicate things for myself. I will just take a step back and think to myself: what do I actually want?" #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggersph #bloggerspost #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscogram #vscographi #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike #fujifilm #fujifilmph #fujifilmlifestyle
"I am allowed to have bad days, even when I'm in a good place in life.
Even if I'm happy overall, there will still be days when I need to lock my bedroom door and cry.
Even if I wouldn’t change a thing about my life, there will still be days when I can’t handle the stress.
It doesn’t make me ungrateful to whine a little, to get my grievances off of my chest. It makes me human.
I am allowed to have bad days, even though I'm older now and more mature.
I am allowed to cancel on my friends because I don’t have the energy to get out of bed and fake smiles around them for four hours.
I am allowed to make mistakes and then apologize over them.
I am imperfect. I am human. I am bound to do things that I regret once I see the consequences. And that is okay. That is normal.
I am not going to have enough energy to do my best every single day.
There are going to be some days when I am in the mood to socialize and end up making all of my friends laugh over dinner. There are going to be other days when I sit at the table in silence because I'm too anxious to open my mouth.
There are going to be some days when I impress myself with how far I’ve come and other days when I embarrass myself with how much I’ve messed up.
Even if I feel like a failure today, I might feel like a success story tomorrow, because I'm always changing. I am always growing. I am always bettering myself.
Even if I make an unforgivable mistake, I should be proud of myself for acknowledging what I’ve done. For admitting I was wrong. For dealing with it in a mature way. For noticing there was a problem and promising to make a change in the future.
It’s impossible to make it through the year without looking like a complete idiot at least once or twice, so I'll give myself a break." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #mensfashion #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #bloggerspost #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"It’s almost noon on a Monday morning, hours before Christmas eve. I’m sitting here at home thinking about all of the people I encounter on a daily basis, and they all have one thing in common; their soul, is in some way, fragmented and shattered.
I don’t know if it is just because of who I am, or if the whole world is like me, but I scrutinize everyone. I try my best to examine each and every person to figure out exactly what makes them the way that they are. What are they going through? What is their struggle? The truth is, the thought of 'life getting better' fills almost everyone with abhorrence. It’s too commonly used when someone is going through a hard time, so common in fact, that when I hear it, I am almost immune to believing in it.
I know I feel weak. I know I feel like I am walking through the fires of hell. I know I want to give up. I know I feel exhausted mentally, physically, and emotionally. I know I wish I could be anywhere else, but where I am. I know I wish I could be someone else. I might have lost hope. I might be overflowing with anger or disappointment and frustration. Maybe I'm holding onto antipathies and sufferings from my past, or worrying about the future.
I am weary and no longer want to hold onto life by the tail end, but this too shall pass.
I am going to make it through today, tomorrow, and even next week. There’s no promise for a better tomorrow, but I will have a better someday.
Maybe tomorrow will be dreadful, maybe I won’t wake up with a smile or feel ecstatic to be alive, but something will happen, and I must take that diminutive moment that I may see as insignificant, and make it the most substantial moment of my day. I'll dwell on it, soak it in, and be grateful." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #dairyqueen #foodporn #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #fujifilm #fujifilmph #fujifilmlifestyle
"It’s hard to be kind. Never mind the fact that I have my own demons to fight with. Never mind the idea that I'm still figuring out how to remain strong because I have no other choice but to be one.
I'm always there ready to save people even if in the first place, they’re the ones who caused me pain. I'm always there for everyone even if I don’t know who will come when it’s my turn to be rescued.
It’s hard to be soft in a world where toughness is the standard. It’s a challenge to forgive when people choose to break me again and again. It’s difficult to absorb all the negative things and turn them into something good because most times, all I really end up with are scratches and burns.
But I realized that kindness is never a weakness. Kindness, no matter how many times it’s abused or taken for granted, is always worth it.
It takes strength. It takes a lot of courage to keep on believing when I'm surrounded by lies and deceptions. It takes a lot of faith to continue believing in people especially when they keep on giving me reasons not to. It takes a lot of maturity to forgive especially when I didn’t even hear an apology.
It’s hard to be good but it’s not impossible. There’s no such thing as too much kindness because even if it’s taken for granted, it’s not my fault but a reflection of who people are.
Being vulnerable may seem like a weakness but in reality, it’s one of the bravest things one can ever do. Opening my palms means catching pain but it’s also how I get hold of the good things.
There’s no assurance that the kindness I give out to the world will come back to me. I will get hurt but I will continue because no matter how cold life may get, there’s still so much good left in this world. And as long as it’s present somewhere, it’s still worth fighting for." #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #starbucks #foodporn #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #subway #foodporn
"What if life is really about nothing other than the present moment? The minutes, seconds, milliseconds of which I have control? The decisions, the choices, the ability to breathe and sing and laugh and focus on where I am right now? 'Wherever I go, there I am.' No matter where I wander, no matter what’s on my mind, no matter the place or time or circumstance - I am in the present moment. Nothing more, nothing less.
Yes, I can look back to what happened. Yes, I can reach ahead and dream for the future. But where I am is here. Right now.
And what if I celebrated that?
What if instead of living to change yesterday, or living for tomorrow, I lived for today?
Life is about being present. It’s about relishing in where I am and what I have, and taking note of what’s around me. It’s about celebrating, breathing, being, rather than always searching for the next thing, the next item or person to fill my emptiness.
Life is about absorbing. About feeling. About existing. About finding where I fit and appreciating the way my life unfolds, on both good and bad days.
Life is about slowing down. Being still. Finding my place in the universe and being okay with that place, even when it’s frustrating or exhausting or beautiful or confusing or somewhere in-between.
Life is about being present. About being right here. So I will quit looking back, looking up, looking ahead. And I will just celebrate now." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggersph #bloggerspost #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophilippines #vscophile #vscogram #vscographi #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike
"I remember making lists for Christmas, excessive lists with absurd things I dreamed of having. As I got older, the list grew smaller.
And now I barely know what I want for Christmas as the season rolls around.
I have to think that its because as we get older, life begins to fill up in such a way that material possessions aren’t necessarily necessary.
I don’t need a wrapped present to make my heart soar any more.
I only need to feel a never-ending happiness.
The hard part about having this hope for Christmas time is that it doesn’t come in a perfectly-wrapped box or a snazzy gift bag. No one can gift it to me.
I have to gift happiness to myself and choose to receive it with open arms.
Receiving happiness this holiday season is more about how I take what is around me and turn it into something good.
It’s about finding joy despite financial instability, how I smile through the heartbreak and the letdowns, how I let life’s twists and turns only make me stronger.
It’s about enjoying the small moments, reveling in the large ones, and always finding something to be happy about.
This Christmas, I want to feel that every second of every day. Even beyond the season I want to be filled with happiness.
Whatever this season throws at me, though, I just want to be a bright light through it all. I want the people around me to hand me happiness wrapped in their support and smiles as its needed, or even as they wish.
So this holiday season, I want every gift to be wrapped in happiness, every moment to be filled with it, for every hard time to have it trailing close behind.
Because I’ve seen a lot of holiday seasons, and the most memorable ones are the happiest ones.
And I want this one to be memorable." It's that time of the year again! #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #bloggers #bloggerspost #bloggersph #influencerph #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscogram #vscographi #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike #throwback
"Being happy, I’ve realized is not something I can pinpoint, grab between my fingertips, or keep. It’s more abstract than I give it credit for. I search as if I'm able to discover it, obtain it, hold it in my palms - but sometimes it’s so beautifully fleeting.
And sometimes happiness is not really a ‘thing’ at all, but a decision. Deciding to live with a spirit of gratitude. Choosing to be thankful, to see the bright side, to love and smile and have hope, regardless of what’s in the way. Accepting that I can't change everything, but I can adapt my attitude.
Happiness comes from finding peace with where I am. Not because it’s exactly where I wanted to be. Not because I have everything I could ever need. Not because I am wealthy, or in love, or doing better than the person next to me.
Happiness comes for no reason at all, other than because I decide I want it there.
I decide that I want to live positively - bringing in good energy and people and moments and exhaling all that is out of my control. I decide that when terrible things happen to me, when I'm broken, when I lose people I love, when I'm left, when I'm exhausted or defeated or angry, that instead of letting the circumstances of this life control me, I want to react with a smile on my face.
And I walk forward, focusing not on what I’ve lost or has been taken from me, but the knowledge I’ve gained, the love I’ve created, the strength I’ve found, the hope I've given myself, and the wealth of things, people, memories, and moments I have to be thankful for.
So I choose to be thankful in the challenges. I choose to see the bright side, the places I will go and people I will meet next.
I choose to let go of what I cannot fix or control, what I am not in charge of, what is out of my reach. I choose to accept the circumstances of this life, even when they’re imperfect or awful, and instead of wrapping myself up in negativity, I exhale and release.
I release what is not meant for me. I release what has abandoned me. I release what has attempted to destroy me, hold me captive, bring me down.
I release and make a conscious choice - today and every day - to seek happiness and live with a grateful heart."
"Food is more than just food. It’s memories. It’s people, places, and things. Food is the way I document my experiences, the visceral scrapbook I return to again and again.
Since the dawn of time, humans have used food as a way to punctuate special occasions. There is a reason our ancestors used to feast. Because food is, at its very nature, a joy. It is a comfort. It is a tangible reminder of our most precious experiences.
It’s more than just sustenance, it’s substance. For me, food is the background of my life, the threads of my memories. It is lavish and comforting and rich and warm and soothing.
Food fills me up, body and soul." Good food + good company = a great time with @tepiichan
! Until the next food trip. #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #foodporn #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggersph #bloggerspost #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscogram #vscographi #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike
"This world can be a cruel place. It can become extremely difficult to focus on even the smallest amount of joy when all I'm ever exposed to is the hatred. The sadness. The undeniable heartbreak of what it can mean to be a beautifully broken, but perfectly flawed human. I can allow myself to feed into all the bitterness. I can allow myself to let others steal my joy. I can allow myself to feel defeated. I can allow myself to be unhappy and miserable.
Or, I can do the exact opposite. I can allow myself to feed into all the joys and happiness that life can offer me. I can be kind. I can treat kindness like it’s confetti and sprinkle it all over the place, no matter where I go. When faced with animosity from others, I can choose to rise above. I can smile and say hi to strangers. I can spread my contagious laughter for everyone to hear. I can live my life honestly and optimistically simply by choosing to do so.
In all the wondrous beauty that this great, big Earth has to offer me, whatever it may be, I hope I can hold onto my joy for dear life." Christmas season is fast approaching and I'm already been reminded of the goods in life. Advance Happy Holidays everyone! #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #starbucks #foodporn #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"Wandering feet. That’s how I would describe myself, my life right now. I have wandering feet.
Traveling, I think, has a bad reputation. There’s such a stereotype, such an expectation that my twenties is the time for traveling. And people either jump on that bandwagon, or hate on it. I have the people who stand behind their wanderlust, and I have the people who will avidly argue that traveling isn’t everything.
I think it’s a mix of both, honestly. I don’t have to travel to live this fulfilled, inspired life. But I have to leave what I've always known. Because that’s the only way I grow.
Traveling, to me, isn’t about going on this across-the-world adventure that costs thousands of pesos. Sometimes it’s as simple as going to a new town, a new city, a sliver of the world that I haven’t yet explored.
Traveling is freeing. It’s allowing myself to be molded, shaped, transformed by a place that isn’t my home. It’s seeing that the world is so limitless, so inviting, beyond what I’ve always known.
Traveling teaches. It teaches me about the world, but maybe even more importantly, it teaches me about myself. My strengths, my limits, my patience, my street-smarts, my ability to think on my feet, my compassion, my love for others, my openness, my confidence, and my connectedness with what’s around me.
It’s only when I'm miles from home that I discover what I miss, what makes me spark, and what I believe in when no one’s around to hold me accountable.
It doesn’t really matter where I go, it just matters that I do.
Somewhere - even as close as the next town over - just to be in a new place and find who I can become when I'm surrounded by different experiences." #nephitreyestravels #nephitreyesclicks #wheninmanila #igers #instagram #instagrammers #grammerph #mindsofhipster #bloggers #bloggerph #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi #vscogrammer #picoftheday #thoughtoftheday
"I've learned how to make peace with timing, how to slow down, how to take things easy, how to live one day at a time, how to stop rushing things that are not meant to be.
I’ve learned how to trust the timing of my journey because every year I learn something new. Every year I change. Every year I evolve in a way I never thought I would. Every year, timing makes more sense.
I’ve learned that waiting is not so bad. Waiting doesn’t mean I'm passive. Waiting doesn’t mean I’ve failed. Waiting doesn’t mean my life is falling apart. Waiting is a part of life. Patience is something I have to continuously accept and learn. Waiting can sometimes mean I have faith in better and bigger things to come because the longer I wait, the greater the reward will be.
I’ve learned to be okay with late arrivals, with things not being done on time, with delays and hurdles and starting over. I’ve learned how to let things expire, that it’s okay to run out of time. It’s not the end of the world. There’s always tomorrow. There’s always a second chance. There’s always another day or another year. Nothing lasts forever. My timing won’t always be against me and it won’t always be wrong.
I've learned that it’s okay to let timing win. It’s okay to let it have its way every once in a while. Why am I always trying to get ahead myself? Why am I always trying to prove others wrong? Who am I really competing with? Who am I really chasing? I’ve learned how to pay less attention to when things will happen and focus more on how to make them happen.
I’ve learned how to believe in timing instead of trying to rearrange everything. I’ve learned to let time take its time because even the wrong time teaches me that I just can’t control time even if the odds are in my favor.
And to let you know, because I waited and let timing use its magic, everything has fallen in its place. I'm really happy with that." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #picoftheday
"There are people who are going to promise me forevers in song, in poetry, in words that are just so damned pretty they will be hard to resist.
I'm their dream guy - strong, independent. Forever, they sigh, forever.
But their forevers come with hidden terms and conditions, their love is a secret contract, with addendum and asterisks.
Forever is only until I start dreaming too much, talking too loudly, kissing too strongly, and debating too heatedly.
It’s not guy-like, they will say, I'm hard to understand, they will rationalise, impossible for anyone to put up with let alone love.
Can’t I be beautiful in limitation? Strong sometimes but weak more often? Independent whilst being helpless? They will ask me to be all these impractical things without thinking that these are all the same qualities they once fell in love with.
They are going to make me doubt myself. And even then, even when they have wronged me, misunderstood my debates for insolence, misinterpreted my strength for arrogance, I will reach inside myself to find the things they are looking for, because I want — I need to be loved.
I will learn to talk quietly, love gingerly, dream a little less.
I do not need to change myself, for people who fell in love with a beautiful, wild thing that they are too ill equipped and must cage to ‘handle’. I do not make myself less when I am a comet filled with such power and intensity, that I am waiting to blaze across this universe.
I am unexplored, unusual and frighteningly beautiful. And only a few will understand the way to love me without breaking me and making me dangerous. And for the record, that person has already found me and that person knows how to definitely love me." #asian #filipino #travelog #travelph #nephitreyestravels #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #mensstyle #mensfashion #igers #instagram #instagrammers #grammerph #summer2k17 #mindsofhipster #snapseed #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi
"I like it when I’m alone.
I know you wouldn’t think I am. I’m involve in so many organizations, have so many friends, never shy and known to be loud, but that, all of that, is just a front.
I don’t like to talk, but I have to because if I want to get ahead in this world, I can’t be shy. I have dreams, big dreams. And I can’t let anyone, not even myself, pull me a step back from my dreams just because I can’t stand talking to people. So I talk. I do not like it, but I do it.
I don’t like to hang out. I have the world’s most wonderful friends but I just can’t bear the thought of me always going out. Don’t get me wrong, I love my friends and they’re the best company, but between me, alone, in my own bed, reading a book or binge-ing videos, or me with them, drinking and talking and maybe doing some crazy and fun stuff together, the first option just puts me in a blissful heaven.
I don’t like to open up. What you think you know of me is really nothing. We can talk all day and I will listen to all your stories and you can ask me questions and I’ll answer them very vaguely but very creatively that you will think you’ve gotten something special out of me but the truth is you will never know things about me unless I deliberately decide to tell you so which, most frankly, will never happen. Because I don’t like to open up. I am in my perfect little ball of me, thank you very much.
I am not lonely, unlike what most think of introverts. I am perfectly happy eating in a restaurant by myself, watching a movie by myself, shopping by myself. There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s what I decide to do and it’s not because I do not have a choice. I'm comfortable this way. I like it this way. I'm not lonely this way.
If I let you in, appreciate it. I don’t do it to everyone. Heck, I do it to no one! But I let you in and it’s going to be a long way before you truly know me. So please be patient. I'm colorful and crazy and you’ll see that bundled up inside of me are different things and beautiful ideals and just really really wonderful souls. But of course people won’t see that just so, I choose to keep it inside. Why wouldn’t I? I'm an introvert."
"Knowing my heart means facing all the pains and struggles.
It means acknowledging the mistakes and learning from each of them.
It means constantly asking 'Who am I?', 'What is my life’s purpose?' until I find the answers.
It means knowing when to let go of what does not benefit my well-being.
It means understanding that putting myself first is never selfish and believing that self-love should and must come next to loving God.
It means being confident with my own skin and understanding that beauty is truly skin deep. It is a light in the heart.
It means asking for renewed strength from the Man above since relying on my own will never work, as it is built to run out eventually.
It means embracing the need for healing the broken pieces of oneself and believing on the power it gives after.
It means constantly striving to become better despite failing many times.
It means understanding that life is a process of forgiving and giving chances – most especially to the undeserving.
It means learning to love life despite the many challenges and learning to see the beauty in each struggle.
It means learning to have faith that whatever challenges I face, I will be well in God’s loving grace.
It means understanding that being broken does not entail being weak, incomplete, and undeserving of love.
It means 'accepting the pain of living – that knowing one’s heart will, and should, be broken.' Truly, one’s heart can never be whole without ever being broken." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"I am slowly learning change is an unbeatable beast. It takes away everything I thought I knew. It swaps my priorities. It gives me an alternate view on others and on myself.
Change can destroy everything my fragile hands have created — but it can also help me rebuild.
However, I am slowly learning the worst thing I can do for my self-growth is remain in my comfort zone. I should take leaps. I should consider risks. I should expand myself outward instead of remaining in the same place for the length inscribed upon my tombstone.
Change is scary — but it is a good scary. The kind that produces adrenaline. The kind that makes me look at my future from angles I have never explored before.
If I resisted change when I was young, I would have never learned to walk. To read. To kiss. To succeed. I would still be a blubbering mess relying on others to provide me with their warmth.
Change can cause loss, but I will always gain something in return. An adventure. A friend. A smile. A lesson.
I am only going to hurt myself by stubbornly staying in place. My legs were built to move. My brain was built to grow. Refusing to stretch myself is like admitting I couldn’t care less about myself.
No matter how hard I fight to keep every piece of my life in place, plans change. People change. Change is unavoidable. It is a cheetah impossible to outrun.
I am slowly learning to embrace change instead of fear it. Remaining in place is not challenging. It is not conductive to growth. Unexpected experiences are what have molded me into my current form and they will continue to reform me as I age. From now on, I should not resist ideas out of impulse. I should consider where they could lead me first.
I should live the life I deserve, not the life that keeps me comfortable." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #likeforlikes
"A strong guy is easier to love because I have been through hell but I have come out on the other side intact. I might be broken and bruised, but those are not signs of my weakness. Those are signs that I am complete. I have seen the worst — in the world and in myself — but my heart is still beating and my lungs are still sucking in air. I am a warrior, a survivor, a winner.
A strong guy is easier to love because I am understanding. I am not going to run away at the first signs of trouble. If I have baggage, that is okay, because I have baggage too. I am not going to judge you for your past or think less of you because of what you have been through. I gravitate toward ‘imperfect’ because it is more raw and real. I am not interested in living a pretend life where everything goes right. I realize this world is messy.
A strong guy is easier to love because I am unafraid of vulnerability. I have suffered through losses of family members and have undergone heart-shattering experiences, which is why I know the importance of speaking from the soul. I know I can never say the words I love you enough. I allow my feelings to pour from my lips. I embrace my innermost emotions. I do not want to wait until it is too late to express what another person means to me, because I know how cruel the universe can be. I know someone special could be taken away overnight.
A strong guy is easier to love because I love loudly. I am fiery, passionate, spirited. When I have burning hot feelings for someone, I offer my heart on a silver platter. I do not let any moment go to waste because I am not sure what tomorrow will bring so I might as well enjoy today.
A strong guy is easier to love because I am excited by the idea of love, of having someone concrete in my world who will never leave, of having someone around who will help me shoulder my stress and survive the rough times ahead.
A strong guy could do it alone, but I would be more than happy to have someone join me on my journey."
"Not giving up doesn’t mean I have to say positive affirmations to my reflection every morning. It doesn’t mean I have to spend whole days smiling so wide my jaw hurts. It doesn’t mean I have to look on the bright side 24/7 and never allowed to voice a complaint.
Not giving up could mean something as simple as forcing myself to do the little activities that feel exhausting in the moment. Brushing my teeth. Combing my hair. It means I am trying my hardest to keep living my life, even when it would be so much easier to curl into a ball and completely disappear from society.
Not giving up means I keep trying, even when it feels like everything is pointless. Even when I am numb. Even when I am convinced I am going to fail. I keep rolling out from bed. I keep attending classes. I keep putting myself out there. I keep living, even when it’s the most difficult thing in the world.
Not giving up means embracing my emotions because I realize releasing them does not make me weak, but never letting those emotions destroy me completely. There are times when I bawl out my eyes. When I scream out my lungs. When I feel like moving forward is an impossibility — but I always find a way to pick myself up and keep inching ahead.
Not giving up means I understand horrible things happen to good people. I realize there is nothing wrong with me. I realize I do not deserve the amount of pain that has been dropped onto my chest. There is not a reason I am being punished. Sometimes shitty things just happen. Sometimes I have to push through toxic situations in order to see the sunlight again.
Not giving up means I leave my bedroom on most days, even when I would rather sleep. It means I text back friends on most days, even when I don’t want to talk. It means I keep trying, even when I feel like my hope is gone.
Not giving up means I am still here. I am still fighting. I am doing the best I can because I know my worth." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #likeforlikes
"I have a habit of caring about other people more than they care about me. I have been guilty of sacrificing time and energy for loved ones who took my kindness for granted. There have been a million times when I wished I was tougher, when I thought life would be easier if my selflessness turned to selfishness.
Despite the problems my soft heart has given me, I will never stop being the nice guy. The guy who speaks from the soul. The guy who goes out of his way for loved ones. The guy who cares about everything and everyone.
I am okay with how loudly I love. I am okay with how vulnerable I allow myself to act in front of strangers. I am okay with giving affection that may never be returned.
I am not the problem. The people who abuse my kindness are the problem - and I am not going to allow them to change me. I am not going to become cold and heartless out of fear of getting hurt again.
I am optimistic. I see the best in people. I want to believe this world is a beautiful place.
Personally, I think it would be worse to hate everyone, to complain constantly, and to only focus on myself. I wouldn’t want to live a life of isolation like that. I want to give. I want to share. I want to spread happiness because most people need that. They need a smile from a stranger. They need a compliment from a friend. They need assurance from a loved one.
I might come across as clingy or overly dependent but I do not care about that anymore. I would rather risk coming on too strong than risk having someone feel unloved and unappreciated because I kept my kindness to myself.
I am no longer going to feel ashamed of my vulnerability. I am going to embrace my emotions, even if that means enduring more pain.
I will never stop being the nice guy, even when society tries to pressure me to keep my emotions to myself.
I will never stop being the nice guy, because I am proud of who I am." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #picoftheday #likeforlikes
Even then, thank you for a taste of Judas’ kiss. It’s hard thanking you for something that gave one of the biggest hole in my heart because unending questions tickle my mind from time to time – “what’s wrong with me, when will I ever be good enough for someone, or when will I be someone’s choice and not just one of that person’s option?” If there’s one thing I’ve realized about being cheated on is that the most amazing thing when someone cheats on me is that it reflects more of who they are and not more of who I am. Them, cheating on me, actually reflects of their insecurities. So, I’ve grown from it as a person because cheating on someone that is willing to do absolutely anything for you shows that you are actually cheating yourself out of true loyalty. Cheating on a good person is like throwing a diamond and picking up a rock. And everyone should know it by now. No one should be taken for granted. Everyone deserves faithfulness and so much love. Now, I fully understand that people don’t cheat because they don’t respect their partners, but people do cheat because they don’t respect themselves.
New post on my blog. Please do visit https://nephitreyes.wordpress.com/2018/04/22/a-broken-heart-is-made-to-mend/ and read the whole article about my open letter to the "ones" who broke my heart. #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #newblogpost
"Life is not meant for mediocre moments. Life is not made for me to stay stagnant, doing the same thing over and over again. Life is not meant to waste away my time through every sunrise and every sunset.
Life is made for family road trips, for days roaming new territory and new land that I've never seen before. Life is made for climbing mountains when everyone around me tells me that I can’t do it. Life is made for doing it anyway.
Life is made for falling in love. For the tender touch of a hand that I want to hold for the rest of my life. Life is made for messed up sheets and delicious touches that send fireworks up my spine. Life is made for saying ‘I love you’ and not being scared of the response I’ll get back.
Life is made for breathing in cool air, for sipping giant mugs of hot chocolate on a December night, and for snuggling up with my best friend by the fireside. Life is made for March days when the sunshine finally starts warming up my worn out skin. Life is made for summer, for endless sun rays and moments I can relive again and again. No matter the season.
Life is made for working hard. Life is made for recognizing that I am a star, and knowing that I’ll always have a light inside of me despite the weather forecast.
Life is made for big hugs. For knowing that I am doing my best. And knowing that that’s all I can do. Life is made for do-overs, for rebirths and starting all over again.
Life is made for messing up over and over again, but getting up anyway. Life is made for failing, and surviving. Life is made for heartbreaks and new loves that erase all of that hurt in my heart. Life is for heartbreak and living through that pain. Life is for believing in love even after I have been broken.
Life is made for racing hearts, for running that mile that I never thought was possible, for kisses that stop time, and for laughing until I'm in stitches.
This life was given to me to live. This life was given to me to love. This life was given to me to find out what joy is. This life was given to me to experience the power of a touch. And this life was given to me to experience the power of a smile.
My life is meant to be lived."
"The things I struggle with most are not demons that I have to battle and force myself to overcome, they are disassociated parts of myself that I have not yet learned to love.
I am driven to avoid pain and seek pleasure, and sometimes, my brain can’t sort out the fact that pain is actually trying to communicate something with me, and if I would not resist it, it would not only pass on its own but potentially share invaluable wisdom and be a catalyst for change. Rather than allowing the message to be received, I suppress it until my life is all but defined by irrational fears, self-sabotage and limiting beliefs.
The things I struggle with the most are the things I am here to master. The triggers are the guides.
My problems exist because there is some part of me that is being ignored, rejected or denied. What is on the other side of my pain? What is the opposite of my fear? What would be the solution to my suffering? Those answers are what I need to create. They are what I am here to do.
Every time I try to force myself to perform better, I am deepening an existing internal conflict. Every time I judge someone, I am projecting out from a wound I have. Every time I engage in a self-sabotaging behavior, I am showing myself that I don’t actually understand what it is I want. Every time I resist any feeling, I intensify it and manifest it, because rather than a messenger, it becomes this haunting unknown that I 'can’t figure out.' The things that are bothering me most right now are not external forces trying to torture me for the sake of it – they are my own mind identifying what in my life can be fixed, changed and transformed. If I continue to not take action, the siren will only get louder, and if I will never learn to listen to it, I will probably just disassociate from it, and then be a victim to it.
I already have the answers. I already know what I am here to do. I am here to create everything that would make me happier than I can imagine. It is only a matter of quieting my mind enough so I can feel all of the unlimited potential that is begging me to be used."
"Life is about sunrises and sunsets. New beginnings and long over due endings.
Life is about Sunday afternoons with loved ones. Having donuts looking out at the world on the front porch swing.
Life is about embracing simplicity. It’s about opening the windows to feel the fresh air.
Life is about road trips with good friends. Blasting the radio as the wind whips against your skin and a smile lights up your face.
Life is about love. It’s about hearing the words “I love you” for the first time from someone who really means it.
Life is about laughing, laughing so hard you start crying because you can’t stop.
Life is about standing barefoot in the ocean on a summer morning. Waves crashing against the shore so calming, so peaceful.
Life is about just being. Being alive. Being well. Being still. Appreciating the silence being capable to feel so much, so deeply.
Life is about living for good people, living for good experiences, living for now, not living for later.
Life is about the little things, the important things. Cherish those things." Summer and life appreciation post. I'll definitely miss eating a piece of watermelon at the seashore.
Officially enrolled. Two months of rest and next week, it will be the beginning of four months on the battlefield. #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #foodporn #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"Ten seconds is all I need. Just those few seconds of courage. I’ve talked about it before, and I’m bringing it up again: taking the leap.
My instinct tells me what’s right. My logic confirms or deters me from that decision. I know, despite occasional doubt (okay, sometimes more than occasional) what is meant for me, at some level, in some way, at some point. I know I have to act. I know that life is stagnant until I start the ripple effect. I know that this moment of vulnerability is one of the most terrifying and raw moments of my existence.
But the raw moments are the most genuine and transformative. They’re some of the most poignant experiences I have. Taking the leap means accepting that I can and very well might lose everything, but I still do it because there’s also a chance that I could make for myself what I so ardently desire.
The way to move past my vulnerability is to embrace it. Release myself from egotistical ideas that I have to be a flawless and prideful person.
How I can be vulnerable is by embracing all the vulnerability that I naturally possess. I should be fearless by not allowing my fears to control me; fear itself will never dissipate. I do this at some level every day when I admit my faults and shortcomings and flaws to thousands of people. I hope that people will look past what I’m saying and see that I’m allowing myself to be vulnerable and raw for a reason. Often, it’s not what I say but the fact that I'm saying it." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #bcdoutfit #bcdoutfitideas
"The thing about Instagram is that everyone kind of knows there’s a film of artificiality over every photograph, yet they still act like there isn’t. They comment with heart eyes and drop a like to keep feeding into the illusion. But the photo of me glancing over my shoulder? It took five tries to get it just right. That 'candid' photo of me laughing? I was well aware that the camera was pointed right at me, waiting for the right moment. My hair was tamed and my outfit chosen for that purpose specifically.
Even the photos that aren’t manipulated only show a tiny slice of my life - they’re just little moments I happened to capture while I was trapped in everyday life.
And I guess what I’m trying to say is that strangers look through my feed and feel like they understand my life. They think all those snapshot moments paint an accurate picture of who I am: the guy without a care in the world. But he’s not me. Sometimes I don’t recognize him at all.
Because the real me consists of moments I keep private — driving around aimlessly with my friends because we’re bored and there’s nothing else to do, the petty drama that stresses me out so much I have to turn off my phone for hours, the days I can’t even will myself to get out of bed because I was too drained from crying the night before. Ordinary days, and heartbreaking days, and days I’m not sure I feel anything at all. That’s who I am, but no amount of sepia-tinted filters could make it interesting, so all I let you see is the guy running around and laughing at the beach.
So, does that make me fake? Does that make me a liar? I don't think so. Because my captions say it all about the photos on my feed." And the photos on my feed, whether manipulated or not, says a story - a part of my reality.
But hey, this is a real candid shot when I was about to fall. #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #bcdoutfit #bcdoutfitidea
"As you know, I’m someone who falls in love with every sunset or sunrise I encounter. Wherever I am, walking, on a plane, driving, on the bus, it doesn’t matter because I will be in a state of awe for a split moment. I find solace in every stroke of the sky, the streaks of the clouds, contrasting the illuminating sky, blazing with colors, oranges, pearly pinks, vibrant purples.
For one moment in time, nothing matters. I indulge myself into this irradiating surrounding. Almost as if the sky has wrapped itself around the world, like a comforting blanket. For that split second, nobody is alone. Silly to say I’ve fallen in love with a fleeting painting across the sky, but I have. I was convinced nothing could replicate this feeling. Until you. You’ve interrupted these still moments. Since you’ve come into my life, it’s as if every breathtaking sunset has crafted and recreated itself into you. When I watch the sunset, I see and I feel you. It’s a stab of uncontrollable passion.
Every sunset, puncturing feelings I’ve never felt before. Feelings and sights that put even the most beautiful sunsets to shame. But further, you have made me fall in love with the night sky. I’ve studied the stars, I’ve seen the most captivating starlit night skies. But nothing compares to the infinite constellations of stars in your soul. I thought it’d stop with the skies, but that was only the beginning. I have seen azure oceans, the most powerful sapphire ripples.
But in your eyes, I see the most alluring and sublime waters. They take me to another place, a better place, a place I’ve dreamed of. A place that no sunset or sunrise could ever carry me. I’ve seen how your hair twists and tousles, almost like a river. I’m convinced, you are the reason the sun finds itself on its knees every night. I’ve witnessed your smile, which in itself should be marked more beautiful than the setting sun. I agree, when the sun paints and spirits the sky with fiery, sparkling, effervescent shades and tones, it is magnificent.
I’ve seen you paint my entire world with your light. And you, are far more capturing than any sunset, sunrise, ocean, river, mountain, or starlit sky I’ve seen."
"I am grateful. I know my future. I can feel it stepping on my toes today. And I also know it will bring as much sunshine as it brings rain.
I’ve been through an immeasurable pain, pain that should have broken my spirit, my bones and my soul for the eternal life.
I’m bruised, I’m restless, and I am constantly being drained. But I still breathe the air. However painful it is, I exist on this blue ball of dust, hanging amongst the starts and other undiscovered balls.
I have depression that comes and goes. I have had panic attacks, anxiety attacks. I wanted to kill myself multiple times since I was 13years old. I still have anxiety following me around everyday; I have to deal with sadness over everything and about anything every single day. I have to face myself every time. I feel useless. I am taking place on the planet, the place someone would have had a better use for. I’ve learned how to manage my condition and how to lead a seemingly normal life in a seemingly normal world.
My heart has been through hell and back. I tread lightly when it comes to it. It is the experience I would never take back. I had it for a reason. It’s a 7 billion student school. The school with no grades, the school where teachers won’t punish me for not doing my homework. If I don’t get the lesson, the experience repeats itself. It let me be prepared for the most important lessons. I always listen and pay attention because life is a school. And this where I want to be successful.
If it hasn’t been for my past relationships I wouldn’t be where I am right now. It has taught me more than I could ever learn by myself, even though I was aware of the problems at hand. I was shown my brokenness, I was shown my insecurities once again, and I was shown how I hated myself. It was high time to stand up and say that I deserve more and that I am more than a play thing in the hands of an immature person.
If it wasn’t for my last love affair, I would have never known that it all could be different. I wouldn’t know someone could treat me like a prince, I wouldn’t know how strong the pull could be and how earth-shattering it could be to let someone you love go."
"Man is a social being. He lives in society. As a gregarious and social being he lives and interacts with so many people all through his life.
In our interactions with people we make many friends. We enjoy the company of our friends; in fact that is why they are our friends.
We influence our friends, and likewise our friends influence us. Friendships therefore have a great bearing on our life. That is why we must be choosy when we make friends, because we want long lasting true friends whom we may trust and who, in turn, can trust us. Friendship calls for loyalty. If you cannot be loyal to your friends, you will lose them.
In a real friendship that has matured over time, there are not even any expectations between two friends. You love your friend whatever may happen, and you love not for any reason or to get anything in return from your friend. And this is the sentiment shared by your friend too. Such a friendship is a real friendship and it gives true joy and contentment. Even troubles and miseries that life may bring seem insignificant when you have such a friendship to bank on." Just wanted to post this picture because I miss you all already!
See you soonest. Mahal ko kayo. #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #throwback #ootd #bff #squadgoals #denim #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #vscobcd
"I want to share a bed with you. I want the very incandescence of your body and hair to intertwine among my arms and legs as we drift into an inescapable bliss. Yes, I want to share a bed with you — really, any kind of bed. Even a twin bed, because that would only mean would be forced by the nature of our surroundings to inch closer, bit by bit, until we would fall asleep with my legs and arms wrapped around your body, and our lips, meeting halfway to interlock and stay that way throughout the night. Honestly, I want to be your little spoon, despite the stigma around it. For me, that would be enough to make me happy.
Thing is, I can’t stop thinking about you. I want you because I don’t quite know how to not want you. So when I oddly hear your name, or when I catch myself stringing those letters together, my heart forgets how to operate as my pulse heightens and begins to pound — hard. So hard that every bit of me becomes impatient in a way. And then, I’m thinking of you again.
You have this uncanny ability to make me forget about time.
I want love. A kind of love that fills my ears, profound and resonant like a bass guitar, that undulates through myself in supple manipulated waves, while my breath expands in the ether, the limbo of my mind, manifesting itself into goose bumps that bring me back into the moment. Once again, thinking about you.
I want you to know that I love love. That I love being in love. That I never thought I could possibly experience this unexplainable feeling.
I want you to know that you’ve made me a sappy romantic. That all these songs make sense now.
I want to do everything with you.
I want you because I can be myself around you; that we can meet in between and join in unison to both our strange nature and laugh about it afterwards.
And that’s quite alright with me. I’d like to get used to that." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #vscobcd #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"The thing about this kind of guy is, he doesn’t have it all figured out. He’s a mess. Halfway through his twenties and always late for things. It isn’t cute anymore, he knows that.
Every year he promises himself that he’ll be better, every new year’s resolution is the same. But sometimes flaws talk so loudly that just existing causes him enough pain. Life and time are never enough for him, he barely has enough room in his life for himself, because you see for all his forgetting to eat and messy hair, he has a heart the size of Sun and puts everyone’s needs before his own. He may not have everything figured out, but is always willing to lend a helping hand to anyone in need.
So here you are, looking at the picture of this messy guy. He has been shattered so hard, but there he is, both hands outstretched giving it to you. Take it, without fear.
Because when the messy guy falls in love, he gives it his all. He works hard to better all of his flaws, he always gives you a reason to laugh. He’s the kind to make it last.
The thing is, he’s been so busy falling down that he knows well how to stand back up again. So he goes through life tumbling head first because he has the confidence he will always find a way back up again. This guy that other people label messy is the most courageous person you will ever meet. He takes on life and love head on, unafraid of the collisions he will meet. He’s met so many set backs and broken bones, body, mind and soul, the messy guy is the one whose defense mechanism is the live life to the full.
When the messy guy falls in love, he is fully aware that the fall comes with meeting the ground and hurting himself. The difference is the messy guy is unafraid to love because he knows love is a beautiful and difficult mess, and he accepts that even the best of things sometimes meet with a tumble, a fall, and an end." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"Goodbye. Just two syllables, but so many meanings. So many feelings.
I think I am afraid of goodbyes. I think I am afraid of the permanence I attach to goodbyes. I think I am afraid that 'goodbye' will leave me lonely. And most of all, I think I am afraid of forgetting, afraid of moving on.
But goodbyes are not as powerful as I think. Goodbyes are endings, but they are only endings in the physical sense.
Goodbyes don’t have the power to erase what happened. They don’t have the strength to wash away memories or to steal heartwarming experiences. Goodbyes are only what I give them the power to be.
Sometimes hellos last for years. Sometimes people come and stay, and they become my life. But sometimes people come and go. They are just visitors in my story. They come into my life for only a season, and when the season changes, it is time for them to go. But during this very special season, they were exactly what I needed.
Goodbyes are bittersweet.
Sometimes goodbye means that my days may be filled with missing someone. Sometimes goodbye leaves my heart stinging or aching. Sometimes goodbye means nights filled with insomnia and a mind filled with wandering thoughts and what-ifs.
But sometimes goodbye means that I am lucky. Sometimes it means that I parted ways with someone or something that was irreplaceably special. Sometimes it means that my heart was touched by another heart in the most beautiful way.
Sometimes I have to say goodbye to a person who I thought I had more time with. Sometimes I have to say goodbye to a place that I may never return to. Sometimes I have to say goodbye to who I am at this very moment in time, knowing that I will never be him again.
Goodbyes are endings. But they do not end memories." The trouble with hello is that there's always goodbye. #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #mensaccessories #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"I believe in the cliché that states that family is who you chose as much as it is who you are biologically related to. I have some friends who I would consider family, based on the length, dedication and unconditional love within our relationship and some blood relatives who I do not consider family because of the lacking of all those previously listed qualities. Family to me is anyone whom you unconditionally love and whom unconditionally loves you. Family does not always have correlation to living situations or biological ties but rather exists and is created through the types of relationships someone has with a person.
Family is not immune to time. Family will inevitably change as a person grows and as time passes, with something as understandable as the death, addition of a child or a marriage. So to speak about family as if it is this concrete never evolving unit of people is not only incorrect but also ignorant.
Family is really indefinable. It is much less tangible than people are lead to believe. Family is a feeling you get with certain people in your life, much like home is never actually a place. Family is whatever you choose it to be and is to be felt more than seen. It is wherever you feel loved and secure and is a very subjective and personal experience to each and every person. Family is something that requires work and time but from that work and time comes the sweetest most rewarding results. Family is beautiful and such an important part of people’s lives. But most of all family is something that should never be taken for granted, not even for one second of any given day." #asians #filipinos #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #family #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"You could send me a text message with only one or two words and I will still overthink what your sentence meant. You could smile at me from across a crowded room and I will overthink what the look meant. I wish I knew what other people were thinking because I spend so much of my time trying to read their minds.
I’m sorry if my overthinking makes me difficult to love. I’m not trying to cause drama where none exists. I’m only trying to protect my heart.
I don’t want to be the person who gets blindsided when their partner cheats. I don’t want to overlook the red flags. I don’t want to be caught off guard. I would rather see the betrayal coming. I would rather know what is waiting for me down the road.
Since I’m so worried about the what ifs, I pay too much attention to detail. I will notice the slight change in your tone and instead of assuming that you must be tired or had a stressful day at work, I will assume that you are mad at me. That you are hiding something from me. That you want nothing to do with me.
I come across as sensitive because I make a big deal out of things that shouldn’t have been given a second thought.
I’m sorry if I become quiet after the smallest thing goes wrong. I’m sorry if it seems like I’m always overreacting. I’m sorry if my overthinking makes me difficult to love.
I’ve been trying to follow my head instead of my heart because I have been hurt before and I’m scared it’s going to happen again. I’m scared you are going to leave. I’m scared you are going to break me apart like all the others who came before you." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #throwback #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #bcdoutfit #bcdoutfitideas
"It’s true when they say the best things in life are free. In fact, the freest gift this life has to offer is often the most underrated & overlooked gift of all - time.
Without time, we wouldn’t be able to exist, we would just 'be.' To exist is much more than a physical being. To exist is to progress throughout life and to constantly evolve as a being and to learn from our existence each day by taking into account that our time to exist will eventually run out.
I’ve come to realize with age that time only seems to speed up, rather than slow down or remain at a steady pace. The days that felt as if they lasted weeks go by in the blink of an eye. See the thing about time is that it actually never slows down. It always remains constant. We cannot control time and the fact that we only have 86,400 seconds each passing day, but we can control how we use our time.
With each passing day, with each passing second, with no action to exist, you will let time slip through your hands faster than you can blink an eye and be stuck in the past or present.
After all, according to the dictionary time is not a measurable unit. Time is a continual process to create constant existence.
So, start existing. Start creating the right moments, rather than waiting for what you believe to be the right moments, because before you realize that there is no such thing as the 'right time,' you will be indefinitely stuck living life just 'being' in the present, rather than progressing towards the future.
You might not be able to control when the sun sets or rises, but you can control and learn to take advantage of the greatest and most free gift life has to offer - time." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #mensaccessories #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerspost #blogersph #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi #vscogram #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike
"When was the last time I just sat quietly, listening, observing without judgment, without any thoughts crowding my mind? Can I even remember a time I felt completely at peace - completely rooted in the present moment without any thoughts of the past or desires for the future coming to disturb me?
My mind, my thoughts create all my aggravations and anxieties. I have not trained my mind to be present; it is always mired in the past or projecting into the future. But in the present the mind has no use, the mind can only compare.
I am not my mind. The mind is just a nimbus of thoughts, passing before me like clouds over a vast plane. But watch what happens when I observe these thoughts. Create an impartial barrier between me and my thoughts. I'll just be a witness to them; not condemn or even try to stop them – that is just adding thoughts onto thoughts. Instead, just simple observation is necessary and I will see they become less and less, dissipating until the whole horizon is blank.
If I am not the mind – then what am I? I am indeed the witness, that silent watcher within. This is what I have always been, what I always will be since the beginning of time.
Dropping the mind is the beginning of knowing myself – my true self. All my life I have been identifying with my mind, with my ever-changing parade of thoughts. I'll drop them; if I'll drop them and I'll drop the veil hiding who I have always been." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #tbt #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #bcdoutfit #bcdoutfitideas
"The invisible guy has always been around. You might not have noticed him, but he was there.
He’s the observer. He’s the guy who feels broken and certain that everyone has noticed the parts he tries to keep hidden — the depression and anxiety that he’s fought since he was 13. He’s also the guy who has spent his life waiting for someone to notice that maybe — just maybe — he wants in.
Until one day, the invisible guy will choose to be seen and will get an itch to be noticed and struggle with how to best explore this. He’ll try clearing his throat and declaring his existence but his voice will sound shaky and his declaration uncertain. He’ll back down afterwards, on shaky ankles, when someone approaches and congratulates him on his performance — when his visibility is confirmed. He’ll retreat into his shell and wish he could be invisible again.
In his efforts to retreat, however, he will find that his shell is no longer the comfortable place he called home mere moments before. He needs more space and it’s far darker than he remembers.
The invisible guy will begin to make a new life for himself. He’ll stop assuming the worst and start expecting to be treated with some semblance of the respect he knows he deserves.
He will still feel invisible sometimes because, frankly, old habits die hard. He will have rough nights that feel overwhelmingly lonely but he’ll move through it by actually sharing with another person that sometimes life just sucks, instead of pretending he’s fine. He will live his life regardless of the anxiety and fear telling him to stay where he is. He’ll even celebrate the broken pieces he had always been afraid to show.
He has stopped being invisible and, even though he stumbles often, he gets back up, and continues working on creating the life that will make him happy. He’s taking care of himself now." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #bcdoutfit #bcdoutfitideas
"Summers now have a way of speeding up, with each day a race to the finish. What moments there are must fit into deadlines. Days begin at nine and end at five. Happy hour ends at seven. We’re so caught up with the quotidian routine that one minute it’s April and the next it’s June. We try to freeze moments with Instagram and Twitter but even those become replaced and forgotten.
Summers now are spent in air conditioning and in front of bright screens. Steel and glass buildings dwarf us more than the trees ever could. Heat hits us from every direction, radiating off pavement and buildings. It’s a sticky heat that at the end of the day makes us peel off our clothes like exoskeletons and leave them in unfamiliar balls on the floor.
Now, summer romances are less monumental. We meet people online or in bars and talk about what we do and where we live. The romance doesn’t culminate in the kiss, but rather begins with it. The attraction may hold meaning in the moment, but like a sunburn, it fades.
Is it possible to slow the passage of time? To get outside and disconnect? To make new friends and catch up with old ones and maybe even hold on to a moment for just long enough? If we remember what made us happy in those summers then maybe we can find those things now. Every year, we’ll have the chance to find them again." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #mountainlife #bukojuice #foodporn #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"If you ever decide that we aren’t right for each other, and you realize that when you look at me you feel nothing, please end it right there. Please, please don’t brush it off your shoulder and pretend that it never happened. And don’t wait until you’re away from me to decide to end everything between us through a text message.
So often I have found, is that people don’t follow their gut instincts and even though they know in their heart that something isn’t right, they still stay. Maybe they stay because they are scared or they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. Or maybe they don’t want to be alone.
But, it hurts worse if you let your feelings eat away at you.
It hurts worse by telling them everything is fine until it catches up to you. It hurts worse when you wait until you can’t control yourself anymore and everything comes spilling out of your mouth at the last minute. It hurts worse when you slowly let them resent you too.
Waiting makes everything hurt more, and it tastes like salty wounds.
So, to the next person who I am with, if you ever feel the need to wait just to “save me from the pain”, don’t. Just do it fast and rip me off like a bandaid. Whatever you do, don’t break my heart slowly.
My heart is not a rubber band that can be stretched to the sides of my stomach anymore. In fact, my heart is as fragile as a piece of paper and it might just break in half. At least if you do it fast, it won’t hurt quite as much." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"I have forgotten that I need letters to make up words, words to make up sentences, sentences and pages to make up chapters. I want to finish the book all at once, and I don’t realize how vital each of these small parts is to the whole.
I want so much for my life. I want a career I love. I want to see the world. I want to marry the love my life.
Many of these things will happen throughout my lifetime. What I have forgotten is that it won’t, and shouldn’t, happen all at once. In wanting all of it at once, I miss out on the things that happen on the way. I miss out on all the words and sentences and pages that make up my book.
I wanted so many things to fall into place immediately so I could feel like my life was good and worthwhile again.
And finally I realized that I was missing everything. Life is not about the major events. It’s not. Just like a book is not solely about the climax. It’s the beautiful words strung together to make sentences full of meaning. It’s the beginning and end of chapters and pages that make you laugh, cry, and smile.
I can tell people who ask what I am going to school for. I can tell them who I’ve loved, and where I’ve traveled. Those events are easy to explain to people.
What I can’t explain to them is how it makes me cry when I’m feeling down and someone is kind to me. How certain smells and sounds take me back to days I thought I’d never have again. And how I’m not afraid to be completely myself anymore.
These are the things I never want to miss. These are the small things, my own words and sentences, that could be so easily overlooked in the scheme of my whole story, and yet are some of the most beautiful and most important things in my life. Don’t miss these, either." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerPH #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"I realized everything up to this point in my life had been a selfish pursuit, one motivated by a desire for beauty and status. It was my upbringing in this society that had focused me in the wrong direction and it had never brought me any lasting happiness, only anxiety, depression, and disappointment.
Our society is so singularly focused on the notion of becoming someone, of making something of one’s life. However, just by nature of my existence I was already a part of the whole. It is the whole which gives meaning to the individual.
Liberation - it is the notion of enlightenment, the understanding that there is nowhere to go, nothing to do, no one to be. When this becomes clear to me beyond an intellectual understanding, when it resonates in my heart, a desire to laugh will well up inside of me. It is so simple, so evident and so beautiful. The truth was always right there in front of me, so obvious but I couldn’t see it.
Freedom from the ego means becoming aware that there is an eternal self beyond the mind and body. It was the ego that was giving an illusion of individuality and self-importance. It was the ego that was creating all unhappiness, greed, jealousy.
I become no one when I cast off the labels imposed upon me from birth by the society. The boundaries between me and everyone else fall away. We are all part of the same existence.
I can understand this like I'm a singular grain of sand in a vast seashore.
I've lived my whole life in the ego, I'm much invested in it. It has been my companion for so long that I’ve forgotten who I am without it.
Becoming no one requires great courage. It means having trust in the universe, trust in yourself.
When I no longer desire to be anything or possess anything, all tension falls away. I am in peace, in pure bliss." And there's bliss when I'm at the beach." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"Having a messy heart is gross. It’s so full of blood and feelings and overanalyzing. Full of questioning and crying and giving without reciprocation. It’s being convinced you’re somehow lacking. That other, more evolved people move on from things while you’re still there, knuckles white from holding on so tightly.
A messy heart just drips all over the carpet. It’s everywhere. It hangs out on sleeves that can’t be rolled up. It gets caught in the car door, making an even bigger mess. It’s a bother. It’s an extra thing to think about, a thing to take care of.
It would be easier to see roadkill and continue on without much pause. It would be easier to disassociate, to stumble upon something upsetting and not play it on a constant loop for days, weeks, months.
Sometimes, I resent that my heart invests so deeply. I’m upset that I can’t just walk away.
Having a messy heart means I stay up late remembering moments from an entire forever ago. It’s beating myself up for not fixing everything. It’s searching for ways I could have made it right. It’s looking and looking and trying and trying and not really getting anywhere.
It’s hard. It’s hard when I can’t disconnect. It’s hard being obsessed with everything turning out okay when part of me knows that’s never going to be a reality.
It’s hard to be alive with a heart that hurts over everything.
But I know this is a strength. I know this softness is a form of compassion. I know these tears keep me open, keep me caring.
My messy heart bleeds with purpose. My messy heart never gives up." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"Dear self, you look good and you're attractive but you don’t know it. I’m assuming it’s because that’s what they told you? Or how they made you feel?
When you look at yourself in the mirror, through whose eyes is it? Yours or theirs? Tell me, who made them powerful enough to dictate what is acceptable, looks good, and appealing to your eyes?
Whenever you don’t feel you look good in your skin, remember that it is not only because of what you take in from the world, but also because of what you undervalue in yourself. You will only be attractive as you believe, and at the end of the day, no one else’s opinion is going to matter. People are going to reject you for your luck in the genetic lottery. People are going to convince you through their words and actions that you are not good enough. Fight the urge to believe them and resist the manipulation because, really, how would they know what you are?
And those “perfect” people? They only seem perfect because they don’t show you everything. Heck, I can even go as far as they’re only perfect because they’re on Instagram. The people behind your insecurities are the very people who share the same feelings with you. We’re all just human beings. The only difference between you and them is the amount of acknowledgement they get from society. But then again, that isn’t beauty. That is just approval. So yes, you freaking look good. They just don’t tell you.
From here on out, filter what you listen to, what you see, and what others try to make you feel. You have no space for people and things that keep you from appreciating and loving yourself the way you should. You have no time for conventions that tell you where you stand in the man-made hierarchy of beauty. By now, you should know it on your own. You may be unconventional, but you look good just the same. Believe it." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #mensaccessories #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
I got a realization today. You know, "I like making excuses for the people I care about. My ego don’t want to face reality. I don’t want to see rejection. Instead, I'll create a convenient backstory, a reason I'm being blown off or ignored.
It’s not that person isn’t into me, that person is just busy. It’s not that person doesn’t care, that person is just in a transitional time in life.
Maybe. Maybe all those reasons I'm clinging to are true. Maybe that person is trying to balance a thousand different things and of course I'm going to slip through the cracks.
But when someone cares, when someone is invested, they still make an effort. They find that one minute to see me. They call me when they say they will. They let me know how important I am.
If people wanted me, they’d know it. They’d find small ways to show their attachment. They’d tell me. They’d show up, even if their life is hectic. We make room for the stuff that matters. We go the extra mile when it’s someone we’re crazy about.
Maybe someone really is super busy. Maybe someone can’t handle adding anything else.
But that’s because that someone is just not that into me. Otherwise, that someone had figure it out and have a spot for me." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"I keep my pain to myself. I don’t bother other people with my problems. I know that there isn’t anything they can do to solve the situations that I’m going through. By telling them what has been on my mind, I’ll only be weighing them down. Giving them something else to stress about. And I don’t want anyone to worry about me. I don’t want anyone to think of me as lost, as helpless, as troubled and beaten and broken.
I would rather deal with my problems on my own, even if that means that I end up sobbing inside of bathroom stalls and texting people who don’t belong in my life and binge drinking until I black out. I don’t want to let anyone in on my biggest secret — that I am secretly struggling and am constantly trying to find new ways to cope.
Even though I am miserable inside, you think I’m happy because I have learned how to play the role. I smile when I am supposed to smile. I laugh when I am expected to laugh. Sometimes I even forget about my own problems. I push them so far to the back of my mind that I can forget they exist for a short while. I can lie to myself until everything feels like it is okay again.
When I see someone with a real smile, one that reaches their eyes and makes them crinkle, I remember how hard I have to force myself to feel happy. I remember that every time that I smile I am playing a game and not facing reality.
Even though happiness does not come naturally to me, you think I’m happy because I am trying my absolute hardest to become a better person I am doing all that I can to look on the bright side, even though I was born a pessimist. I am trying with all of my might to enjoy my life because even though there are so many things that I could complain about, there are also so many things that I am thankful for. There are so many things that should make me smile through the tears." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscography #vscogrammers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes #bcdoutfit #bcdoutfitideas
"Sometimes I doubt I’ll ever find somebody who can really understand me and love me for who I am. I’m also afraid I’ll find someone who meets all my criteria, but is again, already taken; or worse, has no interest in me.
Why is love making me wait so long? I too want to love and be loved.
Over the years, love has taught me that people aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect and I shouldn’t put the person I love on a pedestal and have them destroyed in front of my eyes when they make a mistake and fall from grace.
Love has taught me to speak up and articulate my feelings despite risking heartache; because finding someone you can mesh well with is truly one in a million. I don’t want to lose that chance.
Love has taught me to be sensitive with other people’s feelings after I had my own heart broken. I wouldn’t wish that agony on anyone.
And love has taught me to love and cultivate myself, so I can share the best parts of me with my love when I meet that person.
Waiting is perhaps a test of my patience and my candor and capability in finding and keeping my love. I suppose you can’t really love another if you haven’t learned what love is.
Indeed, I’m ready to welcome a best friend and an adventure partner to together brave the challenges of this world.
That person will be the anchor that keeps my feet on the ground and I’ll be the wings that keep that person's heart in the cloud. I’m here." Yes, I'll be here because I think I already found you.
You can get this spec from @shopatblair.
Please do check their account now tagged in this photo.
"I keep my heart guarded because I've been hurt before. Once upon a time, I trusted someone who ended up smashing my hopes into pieces, and I'm worried about making the same set of mistakes again. I'm worried about walking into the same kind of situation that broke my heart before.
I keep my heart guarded because I've grown comfortable being alone. I'm used to waking up beneath the bed covers alone. I'm used to being the single guy, the unattached friend. I'm okay with the life I'm living, so I'm not sure if I should bother to put myself out there.
I keep my heart guarded because I feel broken inside. My past romances have screwed me up, they have given me baggage too heavy to carry.
I keep my heart guarded because I'm not sure if I believe in monogamy anymore. I have my doubts about everlasting love. I'm skeptical about the idea of committing to someone forever, because all of the relationships I have seen in the past have fallen apart at the seams.
And I keep my heart guarded because I have a poor self-image. I can’t imagine anyone ever falling for me. I can’t imagine a life of true love when heartbreak has been my reality. I assume that anyone that enters my life is eventually going to get bored and leave me behind." I'm too guarded, always been hiding away from people - isolated and detached. But here I am, opening my heart again - letting someone in and is willing to risk one more time. Another try in entrusting my heart to someone believing that person will not poach it.
I hope that I will not make the same mistakes I did in the past - a mistake of falling for someone thinking that person will fall for me back.
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"When I meet someone that sends butterflies shooting through her stomach, I don’t let myself daydream about what could happen. I push the thoughts of first dates and forehead kisses to the back of my mind. I don’t let myself get too excited. I don’t let myself get my hopes up at all because I know there’s a chance I will end up disappointed and I can’t go through that kind of pain again.
I doesn’t get my expectations up high anymore because I felt like an idiot when I realized my last ‘relationship‘ was never going to turn into a real relationship. Looking back, I must have read all of the signs wrong. I must have shaded red flags to green inside of my mind. I never want to do that again. I never want to get caught off guard again.
Now I know I am unable to read minds so there is no sense in trying. I have stopped paying attention to such little things because they probably don’t mean as much as I want them to mean. I don’t let myself overthink anymore. I don’t even let myself admit that I have feelings for someone anymore.
I would rather play pretend. I would rather act like the person who takes up the most space in my mind is a nuisance. Someone who I cannot stand. It’s easier for me to act angry at someone than to admit I want to be with that person. It’s easier for me to lie to myself than face the truth.
I have worn my heart on my sleeve before and I have nothing to show for it except scars. That’s why I have decided to take a new path. I have decided to stop letting myself care — or at least stop acting like I care when other people can see me.
My expectations are low because my hopes that if I don’t get too excited about a person, then it won’t hurt as badly when they leave." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"For every person who walked all over me on their way out the door of my life, I learned to stand up and hold the door open.
I’ve never been one to depend on others. I don’t even know if such a trait is in my genetic code. Nature versus nurture debates aside, I’ve learned to depend on myself more with each person who didn’t feel like sticking around.
I think people sometimes leave to see if they’ll be begged to come back. And I've realized, those are not the people I should center my life around, nor is that someone I should aspire to become.
I used to make myself crazy trying to figure out what I did wrong and how I could make someone come back. Then it dawned on me that I’m the one in charge of my happiness, not anybody else. I am an independent, strong person and I don’t need any friendship or relationship that can’t accept that.
So, to everyone who felt I didn’t have a place in their life, thank you for walking out of mine. Being left may often feel like the worst thing to ever happen and sometimes I just can’t avoid feeling the pain of a lost friendship. But the one who walked away isn’t always the one who holds the power. Sometimes the power belongs to the one who held the door open to let them out." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #likesforlikes
"We are the travel generation. And it’s so easy to be with social media these days. We see pretty, perfectly filtered pictures of people. We envy them, want to be them. And for a lot of people this is what they think of when they think of wanderlust. They think it’s being jealous of those pretty pictures, and wishing that’s the life they could have.
But not me.
I don’t think that wanderlust is the idea of looking at what someone else is doing and wanting it.
I want to learn new things, see new things, fill my life with new things until my cup runs over and my mind is blown with all of this new.
I want to touch every grain of sand on every beach and swim in every ocean so I can tell you how different the waters are. I want to hear the magic that I know is in the air that is never the same in two places. I want to get sunburnt and lost and find my way so that at the end of the day, I can tell you how wonderful being lost really is because it means you get to find your way back.
I want to never be committed to one place, one routine. I want to wake up with different sunrises and say goodnight to different moons. I want to find the magic, the mystery, the beauty in every difference.
When I say I have wanderlust, it means I just have to know what those differences, what those new things are. It means I’m never content if I’m not being a student of the world and paying attention because I know how much the world has to teach me. I mean that I need to have the answers, and I know that going is the only way to get them.
And when I say I have wanderlust, it means I want to share it.
So I soak up all this knowledge, all these experiences, all of this magic. I learn and I take notes about all of this beauty and all of these incredible people, places and things." Life is an adventure. Create your own adventure and share it.
Wanderlust - I travel to inspire. #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #likesforlikes
"I spend entire months eagerly counting down to summer’s arrival. I get hungry for it, fantasizing about coconut juices and all the time spent lounging by the beach. I have been looking at my swimwears in the closet and salivating at the thought of when I can finally don them.
It’s incredibly easy to get lost in the idea of summer. It’s incredibly easy to get lost in how badly I want the ease of sun, of relaxation, of lazy days. But before I know it, summer will appear.
And what I do with it is up to me
Summer is often a season of go-go-go. Planned vacations are finally here and everything is a fun kind of chaos.
Sometimes, I really do need to slow down and remember why this counts. Summer is when everything I’ve been dreaming of is finally here. Summer is when all those ideas I’ve been holding close to my heart during the rainy months can finally happen. At the risk of sounding grossly cheesy, it’s okay to stop and feel the fresh air at the beach. It’s okay to take my time.
Summer is when everything is maximized. Summer is when I've got the time to appreciate what’s around me. Right now, I’m here. Right now, I’m enjoying the picturesque scenery right in front my eyes. Summer is when I should reflect. Summer is when I should soak up not just the sun, but everything I’ve been thinking of. Summer is when everything is hot and wonderful, and I'm starting to take advantage of it.
Summer is when things are great.
Nothing lasts forever, so I'll slow down while I can. Summer disappears as fast as it appears, so I'll take my time. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Let it linger on my tongue. And experiencing the first week of it, I now know that summer is a time to love everything I've got, so I'll love it." Summer is finally here. You know, beach is life, but buko juice is life-er. #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #summer2k18 #beachlife #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #igers #instagrammers #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerstyle #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscopinas #vscophilippines #vscogramm #vscography #vscogrammers #vscolovers #thoughts #picoftheday #likesforlikes
"It’s time to forgive myself.
For all the words I didn’t say, still tangled at the tip of my tongue. For all the ways I’ve fallen short. For the nights I said one thing and did another. For the days I tried and failed. For the moments I didn’t give my whole self because now I know better. Now I know that nothing beautiful blooms from half-hearted love.
For the people I’ve hurt. I've apologized hundreds of times and now I need to truly heal and leave the past behind me. For the anger I’ve felt. Maybe it was justified at the time, but so long has passed and it’s silly to cling to contempt instead of choosing to lift the weight from my chest.
For hurting me. I haven’t been easy on this body, this brain, this soul. I haven’t given myself the benefit of the doubt. I haven’t quite learned to let go. But now it’s time to close my eyes and breathe, bring back the belief that I am worthy, that I am strong. Because I am.
For the little things I ignored. For the ways I walked far from the people I loved. For the moments I chose myself over someone who really needed me. For the times I allowed negativity, hopelessness and defeat to drag my heart down.
For my imperfection. For the mistakes. For the pieces of myself that don’t shine like diamonds in the sun. Because I am soft, not made of stone. I am constructed of muscles and bone and skin—breakable and flawed. Forgive myself for everything I have not done yet, have not done right. Forgive myself for my sweetness, for my gentleness, for the way I will forever be a little blemished.
Forgive myself for my humanness.
Then love myself for all the ways I will forever be enough." It's really the time. And I have to do it now. #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #mensaccessories #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggerspost #blogersph #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi #vscogram #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike
"This is my journey, this is my road and I am entitled to navigate my transition from one place to another according to my own directions, according to my own GPS.
The road is full of surprises, sometimes there will be a lot of traffic and I’ll have to wait for hours stuck in my car, thinking about my life. Sometimes I will see an accident or even get in one and it will terrify me a little bit, but it will be another bump in the road to teach me how to be a better driver.
Maybe what makes life interesting is the question not the answer, maybe the thrill of seeking is what keeps me going, maybe I all want to be a little lost and I really want to be stay a wanderer because when I wander, I have a chance to find something better than what I had in mind, when I wander, I have a chance to find something that will amaze me, something that will leave me speechless.
Because magic doesn’t happen when I'm standing still, it happens when I'm moving, it happens when I'm exploring and it happens when I'm pursuing something bigger and better than me — something bigger and better than what I’ve been taught.
This is my road, this is my journey, and even if I get lost, I will find another way, even if I don’t know where I’m going, I’m bound to stumble upon a sign that will take me to where I need to be.
As long as it’s my way, as long as I’m the driver, I’m bound to find my home and find myself." Will you take this road with me? #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #influencerph #bloggers #bloggersph #bloggerspost #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophilippines #vscophile #vscogram #vscographi #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike
"I am a book you found which you opened.
You saw my words but didn't even bother reading them because you can’t really understand my sentences, you can’t understand why I paused after a certain sentence or why I ended a sentence with an exclamation mark rather than a full stop.
You saw my headlines and again didn't bother reading because you won’t grasp what I’m trying to say, you won’t know if it’s a misleading headline or a headline that has nothing to do with what I’m truly trying to say. In other words, you can’t sum me up in one headline.
You tried to read between the lines but you’ll always find them blurry and murky because you interpret things according to how your mind operates and your mind is a maze.
My words are a reflection of me; they can be contradicting, they can be wise, they can be childish, they can be insane, they can be idealistic, they can be flawed, they can be harsh and they can be fragile. My words can be a lot of things but they will always be real.
I’m an open book because I write about the finest details but you were never detail-oriented so you will never understand the depth of my words.
As an open book, you can flip through my pages or highlight my words but you will never be able to pin me down, because it takes more than opening from a distance to know me, it takes more than a few words to figure me out and it takes a lot more than glancing from pages to pages in order for you to know my story but you never had the courage to start reading the story and finish it till the end.
So you can open me a thousand times but you still won’t be able to read me." And I remained a book people opened but never read. #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagrammer #instalike #grammerph #mindsofhipster #bloggers #bloggerspost #bloggersph #influencerph #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscogram #vscographi #vscogrammer #vscolike #thoughtoftheday #picoftheday #likeforlike
"Behind his mask, there was a prince locked in a tower. Such a gentle soul, a naïve little plant. Years passed but still no one came. No one came to save him, to take away his pain.
He wiped away his stray tears. He put his crown down and swallowed his fears. He grabbed the sword leaning against the locked door. He decided he couldn’t wait for someone to save him anymore.
It’s amazing really, what a smile can hide. You would never think that the soul beneath had already died. He acts as if nothing has happened. But the truth is, the guy beneath is marred and bent.
He’s the guy no one would expect that’s because he gives the illusion that his life is perfect. You could not fathom the darkness of his pain and suffering. Despite that, he still chose to be kind, compassionate and caring.
He genuinely listens because he knows what it’s like to be ignored. He gives people pieces of himself probably more than he can afford. He will pull you up because he knows what it was like to drown. He’s the type of guy who can turn your day around.
He’ll offer you his shoulder, a listening ear. He’ll listen to all the frustrations everyone else refused to hear. He will always be there because he knows what it’s like to feel alone. He’s the type to never forget the acts of kindness you’ve shown.
He notices everything that gives off even the tiniest piece of light. He spent so long in the dark that to him everything seems bright. He’ll help you carry the weight on your shoulders. If only to prevent your heart from growing any colder.
He’s the guy who matured with the damage. He chose to be strong and not dwell on the carnage. So remember to heed the words that he has spoken. Here’s to the guy who have been messfully, but beautifully broken." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #menstyle #mensfashion #igers #instagram #instagrammers #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #bloggers #bloggersph #bloggersunitedph #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi #vscogrammer #picoftheday #thoughtoftheday
"I’m not the young ripe thing I once was and I’m beginning to understand that this world was not meant to be experienced alone. Someday I won’t have my looks, someday I will get sick, someday I will die, and I just hope that I can leave this world knowing that I made someone’s heart go pitter-patter. I changed someone’s life, I was their “in case of emergency” contact. I was the person they thought of when they went to bed and the first person they thought to call in the morning. I want to know that I was loved by someone so passionately, that I shook them to their core and made them happy to be alive." But you know what, there's always been that missing "you" in my "I love". Never got completed since the day my heart got broken. So I locked up my heart to protect it. However, someone snatched the key away from me. And don't know who that person was.
I've been searching for that person for almost two years now. Haven't found that person yet since the day I started searching. And I came to a point that I got tired searching. So, I just left my lock there with "I love" written on it because someone who holds the key to open the lock that I left have the "you" that will complete the statement. I don't know when will that person arrive. But I know someday that person will surprise me at the right moment. "Someone will have noticed me." #nephitreyesclicks #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #igers #instagram #instagrammers #grammerph #mindsofhipster #bloggers #bloggersph #bloggersunitedph #vsco #vscom #vscographi #vscogrammer #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #picoftheday #thoughtoftheday
"In 2018, I’ll love myself the way I need others to love me. When no one shows-up for me, I’ll be there for myself. When everyone else is too busy to spend time with me, I’ll keep myself company. And when there isn’t someone to believe in me, I’ll have faith in myself.
In 2018, I’ll be my person and my best friend, my therapist and medicine, my safe haven and home.
I’ll do the things I love. I don’t want to bury my soul in things that I am not passionate about. I’ll get one step closer to living my dream instead of taking one step back. I want to be the person I have always wanted to be instead of browsing my social media wondering when I’ll get to live that life, do that thing, or be that person. I’ll not settle because it’s easier that way. And I’ll not give-up because many people already have.
I’ll welcome the love I deserve into my life. I have washed my hands from almost relationships. And I have purified my soul from pain.
I am finished with modern dating. I am tired of making shallow conversations, getting in endless fights and ending-up with a broken heart. In 2018, I’ll be ready to share my story with someone. I’ll be ready to get over my fears, issues and shortcomings. I’ll be ready to be someone’s other half.
In 2018, I’ll choose hope when there’s none. I’ll choose the unknown over the familiar. I’ll choose love, kindness, and compassion over ego. I am not going to fix myself, I am going to heal myself.
And I’m not going to lose myself again, I am going to find myself this time." Cheers to 2018! #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #wheninmanila #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #mensstyle #mensfashion #igers #instagram #instagrammers #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #bloggers #bloggersph #bloggersunitedph #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi #vscogrammer #picoftheday #thoughtoftheday
I went out of the house again today, expecting thousands of strangers crossing my path. But I didn't know where to go or who to meet for the day, so I let my feet take me. Walking rapidly, I ended up in a big city with tall buildings, wide roads, heavy traffic, different language, and a lot of unfamiliar faces with uncommon scents which I haven't smelled in my life. It's like a whole new world for me. I looked back trying to figure out where I am. Everybody was moving way to fast and I was in a slow motion, feeling lost in a crowded place. However, I continued walking. And as I was walking, I was staring at every people I meet along the way, telescoping every face as if I was searching for someone, someone that I was looking for but haven't had any idea who and what that person is.
I grabbed that opportunity in the big city. Smelling and getting familiarized with every scent caught by my nose, listening to every heartbeat and staring at every people crossing my path wishing they would stare back because I might find what I was looking for. There were a few who would stare back, but we were just staring blankly at each other and I felt nothing, nothing magical that I was expecting to feel. And most of them ignored me as if I never existed. A question popped into my mind as I was looking from afar, “where can I find you?” Is it in this busy street, full of people unknown to me? I wanted to meet you, but don’t know where you can be found.
I ended up disappointed - feet hurting, head aching and body was sweating. I was out of the house accomplished nothing. And I asked myself, “why am I out of my bed?” Time went by that day in a blink of an eye. Lights started to fill my whole surroundings and I just decided to went home. You can find me in a small city full of people with smiling faces. I will be there waiting to be found. I will rest for a while and stop looking for someone who never existed yet because I actually don’t know what kind of person that person is. I am one in a million, but you are a part of the million. And if I’m already assured of who you are and where you can be found, maybe I will try another day.
"Little things mean a lot to him. Extended eye contact. Accidental touching. Soft smiles. Winks. Waves. Good morning texts.
He can spend hours thinking about a conversation that took two minutes. A small compliment can keep him smiling for the whole week. When someone treats him well, he doesn’t forget it. He becomes giddy over it.
He gets attached easily because he isn’t used to being treated with kindness. He is used to being ignored. Blending into the background. Feeling invisible. Feeling like he does not matter.
His low self-worth makes him settle for less than he deserves. It makes him think that someone is perfect for him, just because they acknowledge him when he walks into the room instead of looking past him. Just because they answer his texts eventually instead of ignoring them completely. Just because they treat him like a human instead of a piece of meat.
Seconds after meeting someone, he thinks about what it would be like to kiss them. Days after meeting someone, he thinks about what it would be like to date them.
He knows that he should slow down. He should take his time. He should stay patient. He should take things one step at a time instead of fast-forwarding to the future.
But he has so much love to give. He has so much time and effort. He is willing to devote to the right person. He would make such a good boyfriend if given the chance. He gets attached easily because he wants to put his heart to good use. He wants to give. He wants to love. He wants to find his forever." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #mensstyle #mensfashion #igers #instagram #instagrammers #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #bloggerph #bloggers #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi #vscogrammer #picoftheday #thoughtoftheday
"He’s the type of guy you won’t appreciate at first. One who will try too hard and always be available. The type of guy who is easy to read because he’s honest, blunt and forward. It won’t feel like much when you have his time and attention because he gives it to you so easily.
He’s the type of guy you won’t get too excited about because you’re never wondering about how he feels. He’s the one who answers quickly. Initiates plans. Invites you everywhere. Tries too hard.
And at first, you are going to realize he’s different. That he deserves to be treated with the same respect you haven’t even earned yet but he gives it away for free.
In beginning, you are going to treat him well.
Then suddenly this quality you admire and respect you’ll take for granted. So you try to and now you are playing games and messing with his head because you want to see how much you can push him until he breaks.
He’s not naive and stupid. He knows exactly what you are doing. And even though he likes you even these type of guys get to point where they get tired of trying so hard. He’ll fade from your life a little slowly.
Suddenly he’s not caring to keep the conversation going. He suddenly stops trying and investing emotions and effort into you. He stops going out of his way. He stops inviting you everywhere. Because even guys like this realize some people aren’t worth it.
Then this guy who you spoke to every day slowly becomes this stranger.
Then you start to miss him." #asian #filipino #nephitreyestravels #ootd #ootdmen #menswear #mensstyle #mensfashion #igers #instagram #instagrammers #grammerph #mindsofhipster #stylefeedph #bloggerph #bloggers #vsco #vscom #vscoph #vscophile #vscophilippines #vscographi #vscogrammer #picoftheday #thoughtoftheday #wheninmanila