On this day, one year ago, the full weight of our new responsibilities as a parents greeted me when a wailing Silas was laid in my arms. I had spent the previous months preparing in a way much like a student would for an exam, reading books, articles, and watching videos covering everything from birth and newborn care to sleep training. Unconsciously I viewed much of parenting as a series of tests and problems to solve: “why is my newborn crying?” “Is he getting enough sleep?” “If Silas nursed X minutes ago, for approximately X minutes, and will need to eat again in X minutes, that leaves me roughly 13 minutes to make a Target run.” (If there’s a will, there’s a way.)
After clearing the newborn stage, which seems like a bit of blur, my clearest memory being the constant uncertainty in wondering “am I even doing this right?” being a parent became so much more than a book could prepare you for.
Keeping your baby alive is important. Yes, please do that. But a baby is more than a responsibility. He’s a person, with a soul, (Which came into existence the moment of his conception and has every right to be given a chance at life) and this soul is beautiful. I’ve had the incredible privilege of spending the last year seeing the world through my son’s innocent, curious, awestruck pair of eyes. Guiding, teaching, and nurturing this little part of you is what parenting truly is. It’s not always glitter and sunshine. Often times it’s “no you can’t eat that rock!” Then confiscating the rock, only to deal with angry screams and evil glares... It’s been a long year with long days, bleary nights, frustrated tears, and many many pots of coffee. But the supernatural, never ending wellspring of love is what makes it a joy to greet my child’s sweet face each morning and do it over again.
Happy Birthday Silas. We love you like crazy. #oneyearold #silaswalker