Yesterday I shared some of my journey. I know my post was long, so thank you for taking the time to read it and respond. I truly appreciate that.
Today I want to share another part of my story that I left out yesterday, because I believe it needs it's own space. I told you about my lack of self esteem, my depression, and my hypothyroidism. The other key thing that had an impact on me was disordered eating. I was bulimic for over a decade, from my late teen years through my 20s. I know for sure this pattern of binging and purging was a direct response to the constant media pressure to look a certain way. I use to read "Vogue", and other fashion magazines, and feel even worse about myself after, because I wanted to be pretty and wear pretty clothes, like the models, but I wasn't thin, and so I wasn't right, and I had to fix it. After starvation diets, over exercising, and beating myself up for not existing up to the standard, all I got was a screwed up metabolism, and a lot of heartburn.
Then I saw "Mode" magazine. A beautifully done publication for plus size women. I loved it! For the first time I saw beautiful women who looked like me, wearing pretty clothes, represented in media like every other model. I still didn't think I could live up to the standard, even though these women looked more like me. I still had years of growth and mindwork to do before I would reach the point of loving and accepting myself, and even stick my feet in the waters of the plus modeling industry.
Even though seeing so many beautiful full figured women gives me life each day, I know there are many who struggle with self esteem, their image, and societies expectations. I'm sharing my story to let you know there's nothing wrong with you, you're beautiful, not everyone will like you(you don't need them anyway), and you can do and be whatever and who ever you want. There will be pain along the journey to loving yourself, but it's so worth it. So are you. #transparency #selfesteem #plusmodel #plussizemodel #plusandfit #curvystyle #curvemodel #fullfigured #fullfiguremodel #celebratemysize #effyourbeautystandards #plusisequal #lovetheskinyourein #yourearockstar #youareworth #youdeserve