At the time I felt weak cos everyone else in the class could do these things so easily & higher up the pole.
Now I'm like "you billy sitch, you were freaking strong, it was a lot of progress from where you started a year earlier" 🤦♀️ #thingsididntseeatthetime
I was going to go back to classes this term, then financially couldn't do it, but a part of not going back for so long has been fear of losing the mental/emotional progress I've made since I stopped going. I worry I'll slip right back into seeing everything about myself as negative. Always being the biggest in the class & watching everyone progress much faster can be a mindfuck along with the *perceived* pressure to progress through levels & feeling like *sometimes* teachers give up on you when you've been in the same level for a year & still nowhere near moving up. A risk of going back to that disordered way of thinking I have to change my body to fit in & progress really scares me. ***not saying teachers do give up students, just it can feel that way when you're struggling to do the same things for the 3rd term in a row & they don't know how to help you any further***