detail of a border design in the 1931-32 school catalog for National Park Seminary that I bought recently. I love the level of design in all the school's publications.
Second, stick around for some random, completely unrelated #latenitemusings
courtesy of #rebeccagale
...Self-hatred and its cousins jealousy, perfectionism, and self-deprecation are powerful forces. It's difficult to find a balance between pushing yourself to fulfill your potential but not letting it evolve into a constant inner dialogue of berating yourself or comparing yourself to others to remind yourself how short you've fallen. And doesn't social media really alleviate the problem.... for my first three years of college, I went to what had been my dream school. High school me had been convinced it was the PERFECT fit. I only applied to one other place. So college me kept trying to persuade myself it was as peachy as I thought. Thing was, every time I tried to join a club or get involved in some groul or audition for a play, I would get rejected. And I won't even go into relationships. Suffice it to say, when I finally did leave, I had a deep-seated sense that I was not good enough for people to like me or want to be friends with me, and my creative work was not sufficient to merit attention or acceptance. Fun feeling.
These days, I kinda go around with this inner obsession with making myself useful and being productive. Not bad thing, but it can get overwhelming.
I had the joy of going to an anniversary celebration this week at the school I ended up finishing my degree at, and I was so uplifted by all the support and kind words I received from people. We can get so in our own heads, telling ourselves certain narratives about how we compare to others, that we lose some of that eagle eye perspective of how we fit into the world and what we mean to other people. So if you're struggling with self-self-criticism, I hope you can take a minute and give yourself credit for some of this week's, this year's, this decade's accomplishments, big and small. And pay it forward by reminding a few people in your life that they are going good work.