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Body series 3/4: POSTPARTUM I was going to be kind to myself after pregnancy. I knew it would take time to lose weight, to feel somewhat normal...it’s been over 3 years now that I’ve held onto this weight. I expected maybe to keep 10 lbs. I expected weakened muscles, saggier breasts, white hairs and some stretch marks. I wasn’t prepared for the sacrifice my body would make. I wasn’t prepared for the permanent changes. I have a pooch I didn’t expect to have until I was at least in my 50s. I got way more stretch marks than I imagined. I grew hair in places I didn’t think were possible. I still have a bruise from my last c section that was 6 months ago. My pelvic floor is a lot weaker, and doing split squats hurt more than I ever remembered. My skin is duller and Losing weight, eating right, keeping sane is a lot harder. Not only am I juggling time, but I’m also fighting age. It’s physically so much harder. And it’s hard to accept this body despite the miracles it made. It’s hard because when I look in the mirror, what I see isn’t who I am. I’m more anxious about weird things (dishes?) and I’ll be the first to admit I don’t like what I see. The loss of my body was harder than I thought- it’s harder for me to accept. It has discouraged me. Yes, when I really reflect, I know my body is miraculous and I am grateful. I would do it again for my babies. But a lot of time, I’m not comfortable in my skin. But I’m making positive changes to try and love myself more, to hold onto the promise I made to be kind to myself. #bekind #ownworstcritic #realityofmotherhood #momtruth #ppd #postpartumbody #postpartum #postpartumfitness #postpartumweightloss #healthylifestyle #bodyacceptance #loveyourself
I took this photo shortly after I had my son. I was chasing the confidence I had before my body was transformed into a home. Blue lighting felt fitting, I had found myself deep in the blues of life. I stared at this photo for hours picking myself apart and never feeling secure enough to share this side of myself. I didn't recognize my body anymore, even if I dropped the weight quickly and then some. I found any tiny imperfection and obsessed over them all. I told myself everyone would notice them as quickly as I had. Only recently when I stumbled onto this photo again did I recognize myself and appreciate all my body went through to bring me the brightest light in my life. Me today, can't give a fuck about the imperfections that others cling to. They make me, me. I'm human, I'm flawed and raw and damaged but still brilliant and bold and strong and intelligent. I wish the me in this photo hadn't felt so defeated and heartbroken, she could just love the woman she was becoming and soak it all in. I'm still a work in progress but I'm making progress. .
#mombod #ppd #moreselflove #bodypositive
This is beautiful.💕 And how incredibly true. I remember, when I was in the midst of depression/anxiety/intrusive thoughts/suicidality, someone close to me told me that I wasn't only fighting for my own life & future, but to break the stronghold mental illness had on my family for future generations. Maybe I can't completely eradicate the possibility of anxiety or depression as there are physical issues in play, but my fight, my recovery & healing, has broken the chains of bondage because I'm giving my son a happy, thriving mother & I know how to tackle mental illness head on should it arise anywhere in my family. How incredible is it that God uses all things, even the darkest of circumstances, to show His unending goodness & heal His people for generation to generation. 🖤 #tellheritgetsbetter #mentalhealth #maternalmentalhealth #ppd #ppa #ppocd #ppp #mdd #gad #iambrokentoo #generations #healing #suicideprevention #suicide #suicideawareness #suicidesurvivor
Lets talk about body-shaming for a minute while you look at what I'd consider a good picture of mine.
I was a skinny girl with an appetite of a horse in my teenage. Obviously, with time, age, and a bunch of major lifestyle changes that come along with marriage, moving to a new country, new job, etc. things were bound to change.
I was my heaviest [92kgs] at the end of my #pregnancy
. I couldn't see my feet kinda heavy. I felt like I had no neckline kinda heavy. You don't just shed away the weight in a night or a month after the baby. Circumstances were such that I was the primary caretaker of myself and my newborn baby. #PPD
hit me hard. Imagine the ingredients of my brain soup - post partum depression, obesity, immense exhaustion, sleep deprivation, hunger, fear, and a total state of being mindfucked to be precise. I took each day as it came and surviving 24 hours without a mental breakdown was a celebration in my head.
Before marriage, all the unsolicited advisors were all about how I can gain weight or make my skin and hair better. After marriage, it was all about weight-control. What completely blew my mind was they would talk about me and my weight while I was holding my (then) 6 month old baby boy in my arms. 😐
Cut to present, #bodyshaming
still is a part of my daily. Earlier it was my weight, now its probably my skin, and later it might probably be my hair. Idk. Its like, you are never enough. People haven't changed, just the voices have. You know which voice changed the most though? Mine. The voice inside my head that finally stopped getting effected and said to my body 'I am sorry, I put you through that', 'I am sorry I allowed the baseless comments of others effect you', 'I am sorry, I won't do it again.' That was the last day of self-hate.
I am happy to say its been a successful year of saying NO. You may call it motherhood induced 'I have no F's to give'-chillness or just self-acceptance, the point is, be you. Let your body heal. It knows you the best. Give it the live, care, and time.
If you don't love her first, then who will?
#yourstrulypbr #bodyshaming #selflove #acceptance #nofsgiven #healdonthate #healing #loving #living #notperfect
This past week & a half has controlled my life. So many little, unexpected, stupid, tiny things have come up & I have let it be the focal point of my week. (Obviously that’s not good)
I started school this week after a year & a half off, it has kicked my a**! FOR NO REASON.
My therapist said something that really just struck me (hopefully i can keep it in mind a lot) he told me that THIS is my gym, THIS is how I get stringer & and THIS is the only way I will grow & learn. Something so obvious yet in the midst of my hellish week it made me stop & redirect my perspective.
Going to the gym hurts & it’s supposed to. Going to therapy hurts, its difficult, it’s work, but I AM GROWING.
I am enough.
I am strong.
I am capable.
I am worthy of happiness.
I am able to change.
I am growing.
Continue of yesterdays post. Insta has a limit.
She has been home for over 2 months now & we’re so happy!
I recently stopped #pumping
. Which was also a really difficult time. Jurnee was only able to #breastfeed
for almost 2 weeks. She was put on a certain #formula
for health reasons. I continued to pump every day hoping one day I could provide for her as I thought I should. I felt like a #failure
when I started to think about quitting.
In the end I tried my best & my #child
is healthy & that is all that matters. At that time I honestly wasn’t really taking care of myself. I honestly wasn’t eating enough for the extra calories one needs when breastfeeding & I was already tired from all the things a new #mom
has to adjust to as well. It still hurts my feelings that I couldn’t have that bonding experience with her. I hope to be able to do that with my next child. I feel blessed to of at least been able to donate so much & help other babies who need it. Every #pregnancy
, & mom is different. It’s hard to actually plan anything, &the aftermath can be so overwhelming. We might not all agree on everything but we are all trying our best. Surround yourself with people who support you! 👶🏻❤️ #newmom #newborn #ppd #postpartumdepression
When was the last time you showed up? I mean REALLY (truly, madly, deeply) SHOWED UP for Y.O.U. ??? I GUARANTEE YOU that the moment you show up and SHOW UP LOUD.. you will never, ever cease to receive the return on that investment. TRY ME.
Did you get to tune in to my chat with @simplysymington
last night? We talked about all things DIVINE FEM - including our cycles.. why it’s ok to feel crazy once in a while.. and how HONORING our bodies and feelings can actually make us not only happier.. but MORE SUCCESSFUL and more IN LOVE with our lives. Want to check it out? DM me! Or head over to my free Facebook group - THE VILLAGE (www.facebook.com/groups/thevillageofpurposeandpotential)
GETTING YOUR BODY “BACK” AFTER BABY
(and not-so-new moms)! Are you thinking about getting back to fitness after newborn bliss? I’m going to explore five tips for doing so safely and effectively in this week’s series, so that you can look forward to being #momstrong
4. Work out with other new moms. Join a Mommy & Baby or Baby & Me or other parented activity class, such as yoga or dance or swimming. Getting out of the house to socialize will provide some needed social/mental/emotional support and the change of scenery is good for Baby, too.
Having a planned, structured activity can help to restore some sense of order to a life that may have been turned topsy-turvy by your little human’s arrival. It can give you something you to look forward to, and the endorphins released during the activity can boost your mood. If you’re like me and suffer from mild post-partum depression #ppd
or the so-called #babyblues
, this can be a helpful and healthful part of your recovery strategy.
#laurensminutemotivation #laurensmotivationminute #laurenseightfitness #laurenseightminuteeverything
The many faces of postpartum depression & Ptsd:
In Every single one of those pictures i am suffering terribly with postpartum depression. in the pictures where im wearing make up and my hair is done, are the only times in 1 year that i did my hair and my makeup in a year. This post and there will be a video to come, have been on my mind for some time. there have been about 5 times where out of nowhere a voice tells me you need to tell your story. You need to tell everyone what you have been hiding. Granted my very close family and friends new i was struggling with PPD but i think only tj God and Gaston are the ones that know the severity of it. I struggled in ways i never expected. Hearing PPD before having a baby is hearing about something without knowing the context of what you are hearing. I had feelings that i never thought my body could betray me in feeling. I feel like my mind betrayed me terribly in this process. But I came out of it. And I’m FINALLY READY TO TELL MY STORY OF EMPOWERMENT. #nontoxicliving #mom #momlife #depression #postpartumdepression #ppd #postpartum #boymom #anxiety #empowerment #womeninspiringwomen
(ONLY HUMAN END PT 5) (on mental health)
8. Remember to take care of yourself! I know that’s hard but listen you NEED to care for yourself before anyone else. If you are sick or worse you can’t be your best self for your child. Your mental health counts! STOP! SIT DOWN! BREATH! ITS OK!
Too much laundry? Dishes? Dinner isn’t ready? Baby doesn’t chill or sleep so you can work out? Your baby won’t stop crying? JUST STOP. BREATH. ignore the laundry. Yep it sucks but y’all won’t die. Ignore the dishes. Oh darn what a awful mom. 🙄 -
order take out or just wait to cook later. It’s fine! Forget the work out! When you get around to cleaning turn on some music and dance your heart out while you clean. There cardio lol and most of the time the baby loves to watch dancing and hear music lol -
hold your baby. That’s more important. But if that’s what you been doing and will go insane. PUT THE BABY DOWN. relax. The baby Can sense the tension. Let the baby cry for a bit while you pull yourself together. You NEED to chill out before holding the baby again. JUST CHILL. & TRY AGAIN. -
Orrrr if you can tell hubby to get on that laundry, dishes, make some dinner or order some, or just plainly take the baby from you for a bit and just go take a bath! Momma your mental health MATTERS. Especially to that baby! If you want to take care of that baby the first step is make sure you can! Take care of yourself!
#talk #youareworthy #healthyliving #depressed #manicmom #selflove #iamhere #ocd #honestmotherhood #postpartumdepression #depression #anxiety #mentalhealth #ppd #selfcare #momlife #motherhood #postpartum #mentalhealthawareness #postnataldepression #postpartumanxiety #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthblogger #mama #mommylifestyle #mommalife #mommydiaries #momlove #bloggermom #inspiremothers
This signifies more than just a #10yearchallenge
. The past ten years of my life have been the most difficult and challenging but also the most beautiful and #blessed
. I have lost and I have gained. I have learned many things the hard way. I have battled every single day. Been so close to giving up, been so close to death, however many times I have felt like I am living in heaven, already. I painfully lost my #dad
in the year 2010, but ever since he was diagnosed in late 2008, my heart started dying slowly. The loss of my Dad broke me completely. Many times I thought it was pointless to go on, and thought it would be better to just go and be with him. But I fought everyday, for myself, my mom. I chose to be strong. To this day, and I am sure it will never go away, the pain will remain the same. I miss my Dad so much. I did many mistakes I regret. I hurt people I love. I will never stop thanking God for #blessing
me so much. With an amazing husband and the most beautiful daughters. #missmydad #survivingsuicide #depression #ppd #survivor #warrior
WARNING: Read with caution- I am suffering with postpartum depression & this is my story.
I labored for 28 hours- the first 9 hours without an epidural. I was 9.5cm dilated for 8 of those 28 hours. Kaylee’s head came down crooked, which explained why I wasn’t getting to 10cm. The midwife told me to push with the next contraction to see if I could line her up by pushing. I pushed twice & her heart rate tanked. They immediately stopped me from pushing & said we were going to have to have a csection. NOW. I hardly realized what was going on before all these new faces flooded my room. Another nurse. The anesthesiologist (but a different one than the one who had given me the epidural 16 hours earlier). The OBGYN who would be doing the surgery. My mom & Sara were ushered out of them room while Owen quickly changed into OR scrubs. They wheeled me down the hall, while Owen was practically running to keep up with us. We came to a stop in a freezing cold room with bright lights & even more new faces. Surgery quickly began & I felt the beginning of the incision. I jumped & let out a scream. The anesthesiologist administered more medication that I felt run down my back. I felt them tugging & pushing. I couldn’t stop throwing up. My body was shaking uncontrollably. Then, nothing. Black. I don’t remember anything else until 2 hours later. I woke up back in my room, & realized that several hours had passed, which instantly filled me with guilt. I missed the “sacred hour” where you do skin-to-skin to bond with the baby. I was flooded with the sense that I was a horrible mother, two hours in.
Kaylee was 3 weeks old. I was in the nursery with tears in my eyes when Owen gently told me that he thought that this may be beyond the "baby blues," & that I should call the midwife about getting help. I didn’t. I went to my 6 week postpartum visit & she made me take a quiz to gage whether or not I have postpartum depression. She said that I scored the highest you possibly can. I broke down. She prescribed me some medication & gave me the names of support groups & an acupuncturist. I left feeling ashamed. *** CONTINUED IN COMMENTS ***
Never too old for girl time 👯♀️In fact, it's necessary now for my sanity.
To be honest, I've never really had a group of girlfriends before. I've had one close friend in every place I've ever lived, but never a whole group of them all at once. The idea of that used to scare me actually.
But when I became a mom, the "it takes a village" mentality became very real. Even though at the time I thought it was kinda dumb, I joined a moms club in my small town. One of the best decisions I've ever made.
This tribe I'm a part of now feels like family. Who knew a mob of moms could be so funny, spontaneous, insightful, endlessly giving, and so supportive? (And love wine 🍷as much as I do!) I'm so glad I fought my insecurities and introvert nature on this one. Being a mom is hard, having people who get that is everything. ❤️
#momlife #findyourtribe #squadgoals #momtribe #womensupportingwomen #postpartum #ppd #fourthtrimester
Hey y’all, Taylor here. Just trying to be cute. ❤️
Lion of the world a nimble cat sprinting fast to Zion... #lion
to #zion #thewildlife #ZFM #toppred #artinnature #art
... what would happen if the lion made it to Zion would they declare it a nation begin to cry or explore all the rocks and different formations..? maybe see the rainbow rock with the white and black vertical lines or lay down on top overlooking an unexplainable valley and bask in sunshine..? One things for sure I can’t imagine lions getting there wanting more developing technology always wanting more.. then sitting on a couch or a manufactured comfy structure ergonomic for lions in front of a tv watching humans in nature beginning to snore going a bore.. not lions.. #philisophicalpayday #PPD #doyouwantmore
the worlds in the house y’all do you want more!? #theroots #poetry #rap #hiphop #lofivibes #jazz #love
My snack, his snack. 🤷🏼♀️🙈
(Last night) .
But you know what? I ate some of those nachos, and I don't feel guilty about it one bit. They were GOOD! 🙌🏻 .
But, that's because I'm not on a diet. I'm allowed to treat myself. I'm allowed to eat some nachos, some cookies, some pizza (you get it, right? 😉), because it's all about portions and moderation! #balance
One bad meal/snack, is not going to detail your progress! My eating has been ON POINT all week, so when Joel asked for nachos last night, I was like, "yeah, you know what? Some nachos would be really good right now!". I still ate my veggies and my apple. I was on plan all day, then had some nachos. 👌🏻 .
I feel great today, and I don't regret it at all!
I don't diet. I have a lifestyle plan, and THAT has brought me the best results I've ever had. 👊🏻
Today I went live here on IG talking about my experience (not) breastfeeding. I honestly started talking as I thought “Why am I sharing this?” but messages pouring in now tell me exactly why. If you or someone close to you struggled with breastfeeding, I hope you’ll jump into my live, replay it, and feel encouraged. ❤️❤️ (Also working on getting this to my IGTV but I didn’t auto save the vid 😭😭 so if you have tricks, throw ‘em my way)
Emotions matter with gold letters! 😍 Not listed yet but you can DM me to order. Sweatshirt and hoodie are available! 🖤🖤🖤
This girl. Love her heart. We can go weeks without talking and then meet up like it was just yesterday. It took a very long time for me to find my “tribe” and I’m damn happy she’s a part of it. Every girl needs a Lisa. ❤️
This is such a powerful question to pose to a community. Parents to parents, what has been some profound advice and/or realizations you have had on this journey?
It’s been 3 Months since our Birth-Day!
3 Months of cuddles + sleepless nights + growth + breastfeeding + healing + lots of love. ✨
Shoutout to my hubby and my mommy village for helping me survive the newborn stage. It’s HARD but definitely the best thing I’ve ever done! 😍😍
If you’re a new or soon-to-be mama in the KC area in need of support, DM me. ❤️❤️❤️ #takebackpostpartum #3monthsold #ppd
My sweet sweet Auri.. you are truly a gift from God. When daddy and I prayed for you, we were intentional, excited, nervous for what life would be like with two—but so grateful God had you hand picked for our family. .
You’re birth was so fast— I wish you could’ve seen daddy’s face..it was hilarious! Mine probably was too bc baby girl one minute mommy was claiming my midwife was a liar and the next there you were! And Your hair?! You must’ve had hair from like day 32 in the womb or something cause there was a lot. .
Sissy instantly fell in love with you. She had been waiting for you for so long..she didn’t want anyone to hurt you—she even cried when you had blood drawn. Soon we were home and adjusting; But then mommy had a really hard time the next couple of days, and then weeks, and then months. I was so sad, so tired, so down, so disconnected, it was like I was there but I wasn’t. I thought maybe it was the baby blues, whatever that was. It couldn’t be postpartum depression. It just couldn’t. Mind over matter and I could definitely control that. Couldn’t I? .
But I couldn’t—and I hated where I was at mentally and emotionally. It was hard to do anything but feed you and make sure your diaper was changed. I missed your sister, I missed your daddy, I missed me. But you sweet, sweet girl, you were so patient with me..so forgiving, so accepting, so content, so loving with those big beautiful eyes. In fact, you don’t know this yet, but you loved me back to life..you helped me see how much I need to fight for myself again; So that I could be strong enough to fight for you, and for sissy, and for daddy. Thank you my baby for never giving up on me. Mommy’s gonna get better soon, I promise. Hu guiya hao my love. .
#thisispostpartum #ppd #postpartumdepression #babyblues #gethelp #thereismore #thereishope #doinglifetogether #thisismotherhood #mommingainteasy #unconditionallove #newmom #secondbaby #pregnancy #dontfakeit #honesty #livingmybestlife #rawmotherhood #crunchymom
Pittsburg Police Officers proactively teamed up with staff members from Pittsburg Unified School District for active shooter training by ALICE Training Institute. ALICE stands for Alert, Lockdown, Inform, Counter, and Evacuate.
#ppd #pusd #alicetraining
I used to LOVE to cook. -
Like, I made up recipes Almost every night.
I had so much fun. After having kids, I basically quit cooking. At least on a regular basis. I'm tired and it wasnt fun anymore
I recently launched a full-on assault on some postpartum depression that I had let get a little out of control. My new med is WORKING and I've found a new flare for cooking again this week!
Tonight's experiment involves a twist on my moms broccoli casserole recipe. -
Cauliflower, chicken, bacon, onion, garlic, red pepper, and the sauce (cream of mushroom,dukes, 2 eggs, sharp cheddar). -
I'm trying to cut back on some lbs I've gained since having Grey, so tonight will be about eating slowly and portion control!! 🤣
It's kind of keto-ish...right? 😂
Okay so the @fitbit
is stepping their game up. The Fitbit Versa is AMAZING they have workout videos ON THE WATCH. So I chose to do a 15 minute one today and it got my heart rate up and sweat 💧 flowing. It wasn’t long but it was enough to make me feel good. If you’re looking into the Fitbit watches.. YES! DO IT.
W/Mank widhie junjungan
Katur tembang2 bali
Pastike ring 97.3Fm thomson bali
Don’t do it don’t do it #10yearchallenge
🤦🏻♀️ 2009 vs 2019 First all let me remind myself I’m much too young to be having this little girl turning TEN this year 😭😂 Secondly when I look at the amount of growth over the last ten years I gotta give myself a big ol pat on the back. Y’all that first year after I had Sophia was so hard 😩. I didnt become a mother (with any of my kids) gracefully. It was hard for me, a struggle, filled with overwhelm and anxiety I can’t even explain unless you’ve gone through it then you totally know what I mean. #thestrugglewasreal
When it finally clicked, the key to being my best I truly felt God gave me that key to SHARE with the world. I think often I wish I hadn’t gone through all this...I would have enjoyed my kids more😭 I would have had more fun, played and laughed more, and I’m sure I would have been a Better mom. I wish desperately someone would have been thee to hold my hand and show me how to have fun and play and not be overwhelmed and ridden with anxiety.
I Officially announce the launch of my coaching business via email to everyone I know and felt the need to extend to all the other mommas out there desperately searching for a change. I hear you 💕And I wanna hear FROM you. Link to schedule a free discovery call is in my bio or dm me and let’s get you being and feeling your amazing wonderful self. Sometimes we need to hold a hand and mine is extended and ready to embrace 💕love to all
“...Announcing your place in the family of things.”
Today, as we wear Mary Oliver’s words on our heart, we are reminded again, that we belong. YOU belong, no matter how lonely. No matter how isolating those 3am feedings feel, and even if you can’t remember the last time you spoke to someone your age, you belong, and you have an important place.
#maryoliver #maternalmentalhealth #changementalhealth #momsofinstagram
Day 4 and done!
Mornings are NOT my thing, but I work up before the sun and got my sweat on.
It’s all about making that decision and sticking to your commitment to yourself. Is it easy? Not always. Is it worth it? ABSOLUTELY! ❤️